In Search of Community

Being online, and specifically on social media, in 2026 feels an awful lot like being stuck in an episode of Black Mirror you didn’t consent to watch in the first place. Every part of the experience has been ensh*ttified to the point that it’s barely recognizable as the thing I was once doing for fun. Now, the only thing keeping me there is the inertia of long-established habits, but even that is starting to wear thin. For me, the breaking point is fast approaching, and it has to do with the death of community.

Connection has always been at the core of the work I do as a writer and content creator. The search for community is why I joined social media, and the humanistic values associated with community — authentic human connection, above all — have informed my approach to social media. I have watched capitalism slowly poison the potential of social media, and the internet in general, to deliver those “third spaces” that have been eradicated (also by capitalism) in the non-virtual world. I have persevered, determined to hold on to whatever small pocket of community remained … but, friends, I fear I am losing the battle. Social media, in its current form, no longer connects us — not even in an accidental fashion, while it operates primarily as a marketplace. It now actively dis-connects us, isolating us into empty echo chambers populated by vampire robots whose job it is to extract every nugget of human creativity so it can be repackaged and capitalized by billionaire technocrats.

I know that sounds like overblown ravings but, honestly, it doesn’t even scratch the surface of how bleak it feels to be on social media these days.

Things were bad before, but AI has made them 1000% worse. To participate in social media as a content creator now is to willingly participate in your own exploitation — and for absolutely zero reward. I’m not even talking about monetary compensation. I’m talking about access to your own audience, the people for whom you are creating the content in the first place. The algorithm will make sure they never see it. Meanwhile, AI is given free rein to scrape all your content and do with it God knows what.

The answer — quit social media — has been growing on me for many months now. I have been on Instagram since 2013, almost as long as I’ve been writing this blog. I have met countless of wonderful people through my accounts, including some I consider close friends. The idea of abandoning my little IG community is gut-wrenching … but, at the same time, every day I’m being forced to face the painful truth that my community has already vanished, if not entirely then as good as. What remains is a mirage, one that grows more transparent every week.

But the yearning for community is ever the same. I believe it’s an existential one, ingrained in human nature. Part of what makes us human, in fact. So, where do we go from here?

For me, that answer can’t be another corporate-owned platform. I have learned my lesson; these platforms will dangle the promise of audience reach, but at the cost of unilaterally setting all the terms of engagement. I don’t trust that what’s happening with Instagram today won’t happen with Instagram 2.0 tomorrow. I’ve seen that movie before, and I know how it ends. I consider myself lucky in that, for all these years, I’ve kept this domain alive — one, tiny refuge in a storm of sh*t. I don’t have a huge audience here, but at least no one else dictates who can engage with my content and how. At the same time, I know that this blog is less conveniently accessible to people than, say, Instagram. To engage with my content here requires extra steps, and people are busy, and constantly bombarded with content from a myriad of other sources. So, I don’t have anyone directly throttling my reach, but my reach is small for other reasons. This is the part I’m working on making peace with.

I am starting to think very intently/intentionally about what it might look like to fully step away from social media and focus all my content-creation energy here. The complicating factor is the writer side of things — that’s to say, my online presence as an indie author, currently using social media as a primary means of marketing. In fact, social media is not actually effective as marketing these days, but it’s “better than nothing”. I need to figure out if there’s a “better than nothing” alternative that can replace social media. My pie-in-the-sky goal is to be able to start 2027 with a social media hiatus.

This is not necessarily a call to action — though if you have suggestions or commiserations, please share in the comments — but I am going to take the opportunity and ask you to bookmark the blog so that it has a better chance of not getting lost in the noise of *gestures around* everything going on. And to make an extra little plug: if you appreciate authentic, 100% human content, please engage with it when you have a spare moment: comment on and share posts that resonate with friends, and help make spaces where community can flourish again.

Edit: I have decided to start a free weekly email newsletter, where I can share fun highlights from my life. It will be similar in format to my Friday Feels posts (which will transition off the blog) but expanded. I will continue to post longform writing here, once a week. If you are interested in signing up for my newsletter mailing list, drop a SUBSCRIBE in the comments. Thank you to all who have reached out, here and on social media, to commiserate. I appreciate you. We will get through this.

Friday Feels #60

Busy weeks are stressful, but busy weeks also tend to be distracting, which leaves less room for existential angst. I’ll take it. And the best news is that Alberta remains (as it should be) Canadian. In an increasingly mad world, it’s nice (and such a relief!) to see sanity prevail now and then.

I wish I could tell you what I did this week but, honestly, I’ve already blocked most of it from my mind. Lately, stuff happens, and five minutes later, I’ve forgotten about it. I’d blame it on perimenopause but I think it’s just good old fashioned executive overload. To tackle the next thing, I gotta make mental room, so out goes the old task (that, hopefully, I actually completed). I’m pretty sure there were some parent-teacher conferences, doctor appointments, the usual chores, and at least half a dozen dropped balls of some sort.

I did read a couple of books, finally – yay! Admittedly, they were short books. But also quite substantial. One was The Courage to Write by Rollo May, and one was The Courage to Be by Paul Tillich; both recommended to me by my amazing therapist. [Who is actually a psychoanalyst, but I don’t like to call him that because it sounds pretentious when I hear myself say “my psychoanalyst”, lol! Anyhoo.] I am still digesting them, and all the food for thought they’ve given me, but expect to see them mentioned again in some future post(s).

I have been dealing with a lot of creative angst lately, and finally had a major breakthrough in my last therapy session. Yes, I talk about that sort of thing with my therapist. It’s all existential, when you dig down far enough, I assure you. It couldn’t have come at a better time because I was teetering on the verge of abandoning my current WIP, a new urban fantasy series in which I’ve poured massive amounts of energy, these last 5 months or so. Now, I feel like I have a better handle on both the creative process as a whole, and this specific work in particular.

I also got feedback from one of my trusted beta readers on the first 9 chapters of book #1, which was mostly encouraging. I have some ideas for fixing/improving some of the issues they raised, but most importantly, I feel reassured that I have a fun story worth the continued investment.

It might sound like I’m putting an awful lot of value/faith in the opinion of one person, and that’s true, up to a point. Beta readers are a part of the writing process that isn’t perhaps well understood by many who aren’t (seasoned) writers. Plus, in this case, my beta reader is also, in part, a writing critique partner (being a writer themselves). It’s someone I’ve known for a long time, whose judgment (creative and intellectual) I value a lot. Not more than my own, ultimately, but enough to carefully consider as part of my decision-making. I think every writer who is serious about their craft needs someone like that in their corner.

On the other hand, too many opinions (especially from random people) can be more detrimental than helpful. When I hear of people having 4, 5, 8 or more beta readers, I wince. More power to them if they find it helpful, but I would probably end up tearing my hair out and never finishing any piece of writing.

I have been informed that the snow forecasted for this weekend is now on a two-week delay, so I have no excuse not to tackle the garden this weekend – alas. Is there anything less fun than winterizing? At least the recent windstorms have cleared a good chunk of the dead leaves. Thanks, Mother Nature!

Have a great weekend!

Basement Dweller, Luxe Edition

I’ve been talking about my new (to me) basement office for so long, it’s not really new anymore. I think it’s time to show where I spend most of my days. I was hoping to do it at the same time as my big basement reno reveal, but I’ve been hoping that for 3+ years and here we are. The basement is still 90% finished and probably will be for the rest of eternity (or at least until my husband retires and finally gets around to painting all the trim).

Finishes – and a toilet- and sink-less bathroom – aside, we’ve been enjoying the space for years. It has the only TV in our house, so it’s where we watch sports and movies. It’s also where my daughter and I do a lot of our crafting. I’ve got my second main library down here too, which houses my romance, mystery, fantasy, and science fiction collection, along with a small reference section. It’s a truly multi-functional space. And I haven’t even mentioned my second closet, the second pantry, and the main storage “cave”. For a relatively small area, it’s a marvel of utility. Once the bathroom is fully fitted, we’ll really be in business! I could just move down here and never leave, lol!

The office area was originally my husband’s pet project. After the pandemic, he continued to work fully remote for a few years, then part-time, so he created himself a very swanky office set-up. Unfortunately, earlier this year, he had to return to the office full-time – much to his chagrin. His loss was my gain, however. Why let a perfect good space go to waste, amirite?

As you can see, there is room here for two people to work side by side, but we have never done that. Our respective jobs both involve highly confidential matters, so we need privacy for calls and so on. The iMac on the right is my husband’s college-era machine, still kicking 20+ years later. It’s actually what we (mostly he) use to format and lay out my books. It runs an ancient version of InDesign from my husband’s years in architecture that somehow, magically, still works. And if you’ve ever bought one of my paperbacks, you’ll know what a great job it does, too.

This is my current set-up. There are usually more water bottles and coffee glasses around, but I tidied up for you 😉 My old office had a very small desk surface area, so it’s been amazing to have such a large one to spread out on. As you can see, I’ve done a little bit of decorating. I do like a tidy work space, though, so I try not to go overboard with clutter.

The large art installation above the desk is a custom piece that a friend made for us – I want to say around the time that we got married, but it’s been almost 17 years, so I might be misremembering the timelines. Anyway, it’s painted on a solid wood panel in mixed media (paint, stencil, collage) and meant to represent our journey, from Soviet Block immigrants to our new life together in Edmonton. It’s one of my favorite art pieces we have.

Speaking of favorite things, this keyboard. Guys, I’m obsessed. I had been using a different mechanical keyboard for a few years, which was nice as well, but I decided to give this one a try after being influenced by videos on social media. LOL, I know! But, listen: I needed a second keyboard because I recently thrifted an iMac as a personal computer and I couldn’t get used to its original keyboard anymore. With my nails, it’s much easier to work with a keyboard that doesn’t have a super low profile.

Anyway, I got this Yunzii cat-themed keyboard with the creamiest, most thocky sound, and it has brought so much joy into my day-to-day.

Sorry, this did not turn out to be a very good photo, but my other must-have is my Tecknet mouse. I love how lightweight and smooth it is, and it’s pretty inexpensive and durable. Plus, it comes in fun colours!

So, that’s my office! Hope you enjoyed the tour!