The Dress Jackpot

I’ve been really hitting that dress jackpot lately, haven’t I? First that Sarah Pacini linen dress, and now this Iris Setlakwe number. I am generally not a huge fan of brown-black combos, but there is something about this print that drew me to it regardless of that fact. The dress fits like a dream, which always helps, and it’s feminine without being girly. The fabric feels lovely; it has the shape-retaining quality of scuba material, but it feels silky to the touch. I love the illusion neckline. There’s not much I don’t love about the dress, come to think of it. I kept things simple for the outfit, just adding a blue necklace for a small pop of colour.

Caped Crusader

Not really, but I could not resist the title. This is one of the more bizzaro combinations I have put together lately, but I really like how it came together. I’m also digging the greenish-grey-black colour palette; there is a sort of moldy metallic thing happening. The fit of these pants is slightly off, but in an intriguing way. I think they would be more flattering if they were a slimmer cut, but their boxiness emphasizes the menswear vibe, further amplified by these Louise et Cie loafers as opposed to a daintier flat or heels.

Pleats, Please

I was super pumped to find this Tibi skirt at my local consignment store; it’s right up my alley. So much so that it’s actually quite similar to a piece I already have – a Vanessa Bruno dress that has a similar, apron-style pleat section in the front. (This Tibi skirt has a pleated back as well, though it’s plain black not patterned like the front.) I’ve struggled with how to wear that dress for reasons too mundane to detail here, so this now gives me the choice of replacing it with something more wearable. Will I? I was all set … aaaand then started to have second thoughts almost immediately. The VB dress has a cool black-and-white contrast thing going on; isn’t there room in my closet for two cool, pleated pieces? Counterpoint: is there room in my closet for two very similar pieces? I don’t know, friends. I just don’t know. In the meantime, let’s leave aside the difficult questions and just enjoy this stress-free outfit.

European Vacation

Another bonus photo this week. I wish I was going on a European vacation but since I am not, this outfit will have to do. It makes me think of something my European relatives might wear as a casual look. I thrifted the jeans and scarf on the same day at different stores, but they feel like a meant-to-be-together combo. The lightweight Eileen Fisher sweater is an older find, but very of the moment what with the whole menocore thing. Easy breezy.

I am currently in the thick of a bunch of DYI craft projects, so I don’t have a lot of time for Netflix, buuuuut … I did recently binge watch season 1 of The Good Place. It wasn’t just good, it was great! If you’re one of the three people who hasn’t seen it yet, do ittttt! I watched it “spoiled” for the big twist at the end (which happens when you don’t keep up with the pace of pop culture) but I still thought it was brilliant. In fact, it was so good that I stayed up till past midnight one day to finish the second half of the season in one go, and while that decision hurt the next day, I did not regret it. I’m just mad that Netflix doesn’t have season 2 available yet. Bah!

Not surprisingly, the show (together with Spook, which I read around the same time) got me thinking a lot about what happens when we die. My attitude to the “great beyond” has gone through several shifts – alternating between fear and acceptance – at various stages of my life, largely influenced by whatever philosophical concepts I was exploring at the time. I’ve come to realize that I really, really want to believe in heaven (who doesn’t want that bit of comfort as they edge closer to middle age?) but my inner voice is telling me that the more likely destinations are: (1) hell, or (2) nothing. Let’s talk through this, shall we?

First of all, it’s obvious that, objectively speaking, “nothing” is better than hell. The thing is, for a living being, “nothing” is unfathomable and, therefore, in a manner of speaking, just as scary and terrible as hell. There were times when I felt rather Zen about the idea of “nothing” (though, of course, there is nothing actually Buddhist about it, but that’s another story); I think those must have been times when I was depressed – and I say that only half flippantly. I’ve come to realize that I derive my happiness from the sense of meaning that I find in (or assign to) my life; the idea that life can come to an end and that nothing comes after feels like an assault on the meaningfulness of life. Perhaps others can reconcile those two things; I struggle with it.

So, then, let’s move on to hell. Whether “hell is other people” (as The Good Place suggests) or endless, perfect solitude, or fiery pits of eternal damnation, the general consensus is that it’s bad. Who in their right mind wants to end up there? I don’t … but, like, I’m afraid I might? I don’t think I’m a bad person; I have good intentions and I am not consciously unkind. But, as Chidi found out in The Good Place, that may not be enough. Whenever I start thinking about it, I always resolve to be more actively good; and, for a while, I work on it. And then, slowly but surely, I slide back into the “normal” routine. Sigh. If hell is real, then I am probably going to it … even though I don’t have a vanity license plate.

Moving on to less weighty (and happier) topics, I also recently re-watched Clueless for the first time in more than a decade. As for many women of my generation, Paul Rudd is a Forever Crush because of Josh. It doesn’t hurt that he’s, like, a total babe still (obligatory reference to how Paul Rudd does not age, which is a scientific fact at this point, and also hat tip to 90s slang). Anyway, the movie holds up pretty well, all things considered – I guess that’s why it’s a classic. I think it was progressive for its time in many ways, though there are occasional cringe-worthy moments/bits of dialogue. The fashion? Mostly cringe-worthy, at least to me. I know a lot of it is coming back in style now and … nope. Nopety nope, hell naw for me.

Next topic. I was reading this Pajiba article about some new Shazaam movie (which, what? my non-comic geekness is working against me here, I feel lost) and learned all about the Mandela Effect. The really weird thing? The title of the article is “The First Official Photo of Zachary Levi in Shazaam Forewarns of the Coming Mandela Effect”. As I clicked on it, my thoughts were “hmm, is Mandela Effect somehow the new term for white-washing?” Because, I kid you not, I thought they had recast the old Shazaam movie starring Sinbad. This was all before I even read the article, mind you. And then I did read the article and got my mind blown to discover that THERE WAS NO SHAZAAM MOVIE STARRING SINBAD!!! BUT ALSO THAT I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO TOTALLY REMEMBERS THAT NON-EXISTENT MOVIE!!!! WTF?!?!

Ahem. Sorry for shouting, but seriously: W.T.F.

Lastly, the news of Justice Bieber’s engagement to Hailey Baldwin – who, I am advised, is the daughter of the Worst Baldwin (Stephen) not the Angriest Baldwin (Alec) – made me realize that I have some kind of partial face blindness problem. I literally cannot remember what Hailey Baldwin looks like 5 minutes after staring at her photo, and I have confused her with a half dozen other women in the last week. The whole Shazaam situation has me thinking that maybe others also share this problem — holler at me in the comments if you do — although I’m willing to concede that the simpler explanation here might be that I am An Old to whom all young whippersnappers look the same. [Sidenote: I thought Hailey was dating Shawn Mendes, but it turns out this was not the case (I think?) which means that this engagement is a little less inexplicable to me now than before. Hashtag: I’m definitely too old to have an opinion about this but also Shawn Mendes is the better Canadian pop export come at me.]

I am a big fan of Refinery29 Money Diaries. The comment section is often wild, and sometimes unpleasant, and it’s one (though by no means the only) reason why I would never post a diary of my own. What I love the most about MDs is seeing how other people spend their discretionary income, and what they buy. The thing about the weekly format is that you get only a small snippet of that individual’s shopping, and it’s luck of the draw if the week chosen by the writer is a purchase-intensive one or not. Not to mention that, too often (for my taste), diarists focus extensively on things like what they ate or did; except in rare cases, those things are of limited interest to me. Tell me what kind of dry shampoo you use, and how it’s going to change my life!

While I have no interest in revealing all of my financial information (I am hardly anonymous here, after all), I thought I would take a stab at a modified Money Diary that provides the kind of details I would like to read about. Before I go on, I just want to make it clear that I’m not coming at this from a Personal Finance perspective, and this is most definitely not a how-to on budgeting or anything of the sort. For what it’s worth, my approach to money is to balance saving and enjoying a comfortable life; my monthly personal spending budget is between 1/4 and 1/3 the amount of my monthly personal savings, which seems like a reasonable compromise between my present “wants” and my future “needs”.

So, here it is: one month of discretionary spending!

Week One

Monday – I have been very diligent lately about packing my lunches to work, but it’s Monday and summer, and I succumb to the lure of the Second Cup “frocho” (frozen hot chocolate). I refuse to think about what’s in it, but I’m guessing 90% sugar with a dash of milk ($5) [All amounts include GST and/or tips and have been rounded up or down to the nearest dollar amount because I’m lazy.]

Tuesday – It’s frocho time again. Sigh. $5

Wednesday – I am working from home, so no frocho temptation today. I do end up ordering a bunch of stuff for the kids on Amazon, and use the opportunity to stock up on knitting yarn ($26). My favourite brand is Lion, especially the Wool-Ease variety. A ball of this typically costs between $6-7 on Amazon, which is maybe slightly cheaper than Michael’s. I have Amazon Prime, so it’s also more convenient. I’m currently working on a scarf for my husband for Father’s Day (per his request), and also looking ahead to Christmas; it’s never too early to start planning presents.

Thursday/Friday – No personal spending, which is some kind of miracle.

Saturday – Saturday mornings are my time for thrifting. This week, I find an interesting brooch ($4.50), and a bunch of Maisie Dobbs mystery novels ($15) at Goodwill. In the afternoon, I go to Winners to buy birthday presents for a kid’s birthday party. Winners is like Costco for me – I go in for a $30 present, I walk out with $100 worth of other random stuff. This time, I get sunglasses for my husband ($17, Father’s Day present), a Pixi eyeshadow palette ($21), and some Stila lip balms ($19). Impulse beauty buys are my Achilles heel, but at least these ones work out ok; I am especially in love with one of the Stila balms (review of sorts here). The Pixi palette has georgeous colours but the pigmentation and staying power are meh.

Sunday – So, sometimes, I also go thrifting on Sunday – especially if it’s a sale day at Value Village. A quick stop yields a gorgeous Sarah Pacini dress ($12), a Nougat sequin cardigan ($7), and a Fossil bag ($11) which is going to be a Christmas gift for someone. No telling!

TOTAL: $123

Week Two

Monday – Frochos have now turned into my “reward” for getting through Monday, so I have another one ($5).

Tuesday – no personal spending

Wednesday – It’s been another stressful week, so while the kids are visiting their grandparents in the evening, I make a quick stop at Goodwill. I pick up a Maeve dress ($8.50), Judith & Charles cuffed pants ($9.50), Lida Baday linen cropped pants ($5), and Wilfred knit tunic ($8.50). On my way home, I also pop into Value Village, and score some knee-high Stuart Weitzman boots ($20). I love all these pieces except the Maeve dress; I was kinda on the fence about buying it, which should have been my signal not to proceed. I did, and after wearing it once, I’m thinking it’s destined for the consignment pile.

Thursday – I’ve been looking for a new “signature” perfume for a while, but haven’t been able to commit. I decide to finally try Le Labo, and order 3 samples: Santal 33, Iris 39, and Rose 31 ($27 including shipping).

Friday – On Amazon again to order more kids’ stuff, and somehow a couple of books jump into my cart: Spook by Mary Roach, and Hillbilly Elegy by JD Vance ($42).

Saturday – I haven’t had a pedicure in about 3 weeks, and my feet are looking the worse for it. I pop in for a pedi at my local cheapie salon, and end up splurging for gel polish so I can get a cool-looking chrome finish ($69). I saw my boss sporting a similar pedi this week, and I wanted to try it. In the summer, I tend to get pedicures once a month – usually just the basic kind for about $35. Based on how the gel polish is looking after a couple of weeks, it might be worth making the switch (at least for the rest of the summer before my toes go back into hibernation mode).

Sunday – Since I didn’t go yesterday, it’s time to hit up the thrifts. I find a couple of pairs of Acne jeans ($9.50 each) and a Vince knit top ($8.50) at Goodwill. The jeans are a smidge tight; I may end of selling them if they don’t work, but I’m pretty confident that I can make my money back.

TOTAL: $222

Week Three

Monday – No surprises here: frocho ($5).

Tuesday/Wednesday/Thursday – No personal spending

Friday – I was good all week, but I finally cave. Frocho Friday, baby! ($5)

Saturday – No personal spending

Sunday – Having survived a horde of 7-year old boys climbing all over my house for my son’s birthday party yesterday, I feel like this morning’s thrift trip is well-deserved. I get a Rachel Roy dress ($8.50), a biography of W. Randolph Hearst ($4), and a Japanese vase ($4.50). Later, on a grocery run at Superstore, I succumb to the dreaded impulse beauty buy again. I get a L’Oreal Paradise Enchanted eye shadow palette ($20), which I really don’t need but which will hopefully replicate my favourite IG filter, and I restock on a Joe Fresh lipstick balm that I like a lot (Bumbleberry) because it’s on sale ($8). The palette turns out to be the real winner – it’s pigmented and has decent lasting power, and the colours are fab. It immediately becomes my go-to for eye makeup. (Fair warning: it is scented, which may bother some people.)

TOTAL: $55

Week Four

Monday – Miraculously, I don’t get a frocho today.

Tuesday – I have not seen my bestie in nearly a month; she recently started a new job and is in the process of embarking on an exciting new life/career change, so we haven’t been able to get our schedules to align. We finally get to hang out after work, so we grab some poke bowls and catch up ($17). We also manage a quick trip to VV, during which I pick up a pair of Me Too flats ($16). They’re brand new and real leather. Two old pairs of “walking” flats recently bit the dust, and I needed to replace them; a replacement pair I bought a while back has proven to be too wide on my foot, so it’s going to my bestie instead. This was a timely purchase, which doesn’t happen all that often with thrift, so huzzah!

Wednesday – I get massages once a month, and today is that special day. The majority of the cost is covered by my health insurance, but I cover the rest plus the tip ($25). Technically, I would categorize this as “household” rather than personal spending, since it’s a health-related expense, but I’m adding it here for transparency.

Thursday – I cave. Frocho ($5).

Friday – At lunch, I visit my friend Jen (Life Preloved) to get a sneak peek at some new pieces in her store. There are many tempting things but I decide to sleep on any purchases for now. I do end up taking home some adorable Anthro homewares, a vase and a bowl ($40, out of my PayPal balance).

Saturday – Thrift time! I grab a book ($4), Iris Setlakwe dress ($8.50), a couple of Alex & Ani bracelets ($5.50 each), and a cool looking bead bracelet ($4.50) at Goodwill. By the way, you can see all my hauls on my Insta-stories, along with thrift store try-outs. I also pop into my fave consignment store to drop off some clothes, and naturally don’t walk out empty handed. This time, I score a fabulous Tibi skirt for just $19.It was $500CAD at retail! I’m stoked to wear it, and it makes up for the $6 Tibi skirt I found at Goodwill that was too tight on me.

Sunday – No personal spending.

TOTAL: $146

All in all, this was a pretty average month for me in terms of both the amount and the nature of my discretionary spending. Although I’ve been tracking my spending for years (on and off), putting together this daily log was still an interesting experience. It definitely helps to keep me mindful of what and how I spend; since my goal is to maximize the amount of fun/pleasure I get from my discretionary dollars, that’s a good thing.

Do you track your spending? Would you ever write (and share) a Money Diary? And if you have, what was the reaction?