I know this will come as a surprise to all of you but I am not, in fact, a 30-something slip of a girl anymore. Hah! I’m kidding. Nobody thinks that and I’ve never been someone who plays coy about her age. I’ll be 44 in August which feels really weird when I think about it (hardly ever) because the older I get, the more ageless I feel — emotionally and mentally, that is. Forty-four sounds like a grown-up age, and I don’t feel like a grown-up. I’m starting to think that “being a grown-up” is part of the Land of Forever Tomorrow. Which is fine. I would hate to feel like I had to know everything, or even just a lot of things, and act responsibly all the time. I guess, to me, “being a grown-up” represents a child’s perspective on adulthood — a kind of omniscient stasis at the top of a development pyramid. Who wants to be stuck there? Not me. But anyway. The hard part about turning 44 isn’t how I feel about it.

It’s how my body feels it.

I’m not talking about the diverse small aches and pains that one seems to accumulate at an increasing rate after 40. Or the ‘hangovers’ one feels the next morning after staying up a little later than usual the night before. At this stage, I’m mostly talking about perimenopause, which came as a big, unwelcome surprise. Traditionally, menopause is something that we’ve been taught to associate with turning, say, 50 or older; when I was growing up, perimenopause wasn’t even really talked about. Until recently, I had no idea that perimenopause could happen as early as late 30s. Now, I know several other women who are around my age and experiencing similar things. Realizing what is happening to us and being able to talk to each other about it has been incredibly helpful. It’s reassuring to know that you’re not imagining things, that something is different — well, lots of things, actually — and that there are reasons outside of your control why you feel so crappy at times. I am lucky to have a family doctor who is willing to have a discussion around perimenopause with me; a lot of health professionals still dismiss women’s experiences if they’re not closer to the age when menopause has been traditionally thought to start.

I mention all of this for 2 reasons. One, if you’re in your 40s and are experiencing any new symptoms that seem out of character and are non-specific in nature (fatigue, brain fog, difficulties sleeping, irritability, among others), you may want to look up information about perimenopause. Two, it provides context for the rest of this post, which is all about changes in habits I’ve been making to try to improve my sense of wellbeing.

I’m a bit of a sloth when it comes to physical activity, so I’m very proud of the biggest change I’ve made, which was to increase my daily movement amount. I work a sedentary job and have mostly sedentary hobbies, and had been doing very little physical exercise in recent years. It’s probably safe to say that I have not been especially fit for a long time, even if I didn’t look it. For many years, my philosophy was “if I can fit into my clothes, I’m good.” But getting older means that I need to start prioritizing fitness (heart health, in particular) over appearance. Prior to the start of the year, I had been doing 30 minutes of light cardio, via a stationary bike, about 3 times a week. It wasn’t much and it was becoming less ideal all the time, as sitting on the bike for prolonged periods was starting to give me lower back pain. In January, I decided to get a walking pad. It was a social media-influenced purchase, but one that proved life-changing in the best way.

I’ve always enjoyed walking, and it’s easy on my joints and back. The walking pad is small and light, and can be easily shoved under the bed when not in use. I can jump on it any time, with little fuss and muss — I don’t even need to get properly dressed, I just need to put my sneakers on. The weather here is unpredictable year round (even the summers can be challenging, due to wildfires among other reasons) so as much as walking outside would be preferable, the walking pad is a much more practical option for me. When I first got it, I made a goal of walking 3 miles a day. This equated to between 5,000 and 6,000 steps a day, or about 45 minutes. I was breaking it down into 2 sessions, and the convenience of it made it really easy to stick to a daily routine. Then, a couple of months ago, I was listening to an episode of Anne Helen Petersen’s podcast Culture Study that discussed sitting and how bad it is for us, and the guest expert mentioned how studies have shown that 5 minutes of movement once per hour (of sitting) are associated with positive health impacts. So I decided to switch up my walking routine and do 5-10 minutes of walking at least every 1.5 hours during the work day, as well as a few extra intervals throughout the rest of the day. I also upped my steps goal, to average 10,000 steps a day every week. Thanks to my walking pad, this was easily feasible. (Actually, I now average 11,000-12,000 steps a day because as soon as I put a number on a target, I become weirdly fixated with going over it.) I can be at my desk, hop on the pad in less than 20 seconds, walk for 5 minutes, and be back at my desk immediately after. I speed walk but, at that length of interval, I don’t usually break a sweat so I don’t need to change in and out of workout clothes constantly. (I do one longer interval every morning before work to get my heart rate up for an extended period.) It’s so convenient!

Now, this is all anecdotal of course, but I have found that my energy level is generally quite a bit higher and much more consistent than it was before I started walking. In particular, I don’t find myself crashing as hard, energy-wise, in the afternoons as I used to do. (Some days it still happens, and I blame my fluctuating hormone levels entirely, whether justifiably or not I don’t care) After the initial adjustment period, I’ve not experienced any aches and pains associated with walking, except occasionally sore feet — it’s very low impact in that sense. I’ve also noticed quite a bit of toning in the lower half of my body; heck, even my husband has commented on it. I don’t weigh myself as I don’t care about that kind of metric, but I do feel sort of lighter in my step … which might have more to do with my overall energy level than weight, tbh. It’s hard to say with a strong degree of certainty whether the physical activity has also had a positive impact on my mental wellbeing, as that is dependent on a lot of factors, but I do tend to think it contributes to a mood-stabilizing effect, at the least.

Another habit I’ve been working on this year is sleep. There has been a noticeable decline in the quality of my sleep in recent years, and it’s something that obviously has a huge impact on my quality of life as a whole. So I’ve been working on improving my sleep hygiene. Bedtime phone scrolling was my worst habit, so I’ve pushed myself to cut it out. It used to be that, once the kids were in bed, I would get into bed myself and do “a little bit” more reading on my phone … which would, almost inevitably, turn into an hour or more of scrolling. Now, I prep myself for bed and do my last bit of screen time before the kids go to bed, which happens between 9 and 9:30 these days. We have a bedtime ritual, left over from when they were little, where both my husband and I (separately) hang out and chat with each kid once they’re in bed. It’s a nice opportunity to do a last debrief of sorts about our days, talk about things we did and things we’re grateful for, etc. (I’m pretty sure my husband and son talk exclusively about NBA rankings during their one-on-one, but to each their own, lol!) Once that’s done, it’s time for me to go to bed as well … and I am not allowed even one, last quick look at my phone. I can usually fall asleep fairly quickly, thanks to my sleep medication, and enforcing that relatively early bedtime means that I can get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. On paper, at least.

Waking up between 2 and 3 AM (and often not being able to fall back asleep for an hour or more) has been one my least favourite things about perimenopause. Even with my anxiety under control, that period of wakefulness is never fun. The sleep medication I have been taking for a while didn’t seem able to address it, so after doing a bit of research, I decided to add an OTC magnesium supplement to my bedtime routine. (Always check with your physician before starting any supplements!) It has helped quite a bit. I would not say that I am consistently sleeping through the night every night, but I am having far fewer wake-ups and of much shorter duration. We love some progress!

It might not seem like much, but the additional physical activity and slightly better sleep have been a tremendous boon to my overall well-being. Perimenopause still sucks — and there are days when I don’t feel great for no apparent reason — but I find myself having more energy and more zest for life on a much more consistent basis. The fact that all of the changes I made to my daily routine were, individually, quite small and easy to implement played a key role in helping the habits stick. With everything else going on, I just don’t feel like I have the bandwidth to tackle the kind of ambitious goals (or things that seem ambitious to me, a sloth-like person) that we tend to think are worthwhile in terms of results. But they good news is that little things can add up! And little things I can do.

Details: Reitmans sweater, Ralph Lauren skirt, Aldo shoes (all thrifted), Warren Steven Scott earrings

Thoughts: I usually stick to a 3-piece outfit formula to achieve the level my preferred level of put-togetherness, but it’s possible to get the same result with a simpler version, like this one, too. Just pick one or, better yet, two statement pieces and you’re set. I added some funky accessories (earrings and shoes) to lean into the playful vibe of this particular combination. Black, white and red is a classic combo, but it doesn’t have to be serious.

Details: Primavera dress, Joie cardigan, Lena Bernard necklace (all thrifted), Zara shoes (retail)

Thoughts: Oh hey, look at that: another 2-piece outfit. Here, the dress is the statement piece, but it’s pretty chill. I chose the boots because I felt like they kept the outfit from feeling too staid, and gave it a 90s vibe that I very much enjoyed. You can tell it’s the nostalgia of a Gen X-er because, yes friends, those are reading glasses I forgot to take off. That is the current season of life for this 1980 baby. Reading glasses. Read that and weep. I kid, I kid. It’s ok. They make cute reading glasses these days.

Details: Calvin Klein tee, Only & Sons jacket, Jessie skirt (all thifted), Coach bag (secondhand), Mia shoes (retail)

Thoughts: Speaking of the 90s, this outfit wants a moment of appreciation. I wore it on a weekend road-trip to Calgary with a friend, and it provided the perfect balance of comfort (first priority) and style (distant second but not entirely out of the running). I’m pretty sure this oversized jean jacket will be one of my go-to toppers this summer. Ditto for these shoes in the footwear category. They’re both so easy to wear, comfortable, and versatile. What more could I ask for?

Details: Calvin Klein tee, Zara jacket, UO pants, vintage belt (all thrifted), turquoise accessories (Poshmark)

Thoughts: I knew this classic white tee would be doing a lot of work for me this summer, and I was right. It’s plain and versatile, with a classic cut and nice weight (thick and opaque, not see-through at all) that make it easy to dress up if needed. It’s Calvin Klein, and it makes me think of those impossibly cool, minimalist 90s ads for the brand — which is what inspired this outfit I wore to the office. (Yes, I occasionally go into the office. It gives my WFH life a little spice now and then, haha!) I chose the accessories and statement blazer as a way to put my own spin on the minimalist inspo. I took the jacket off once I got to work and didn’t put it back on for most of the day, but the turquoise bits made the outfit feel less generic, and more like “me” in an understated kind of way.

Details: AllSaints top, Club Monaco vest, Lida Baday jacket, Talbots skirt, vintage brooch (all thrifted)

Thoughts: This all came together through a series of leaps. I wanted to wear this beautiful crushed velvet vest, and decided to pair it again with a column skirt; I chose this particular skirt based on the colour palette. Then I decided to make the most of the deep-V neckline and pulled out this frilly rosetted shirt. The shirt is sleeveless and it felt a bit too early in the season (and rather cold) to have bare arms, so I decided I needed a topper. I tried a few different options until I found one whose length and cut gave me the best overall proportions and … voila. I don’t usually do short-over-long layering when it comes to jackets and vests, but I quite like how this combo worked out. Mental note made.

Details: H&M dress, Higher Ground dress (worn open), BR belt (all thrifted), selfmade necklace, Zara boots (retail)

Thoughts: Speaking of layering, I’ve been meaning to try a dress-worn-as-duster-over-another-dress combo for a while. This black dress is a great option, not only because it buttons all the way, but because it’s a heavier cotton giving it the weight of a topper. I wanted the under-dress to provide contrast, so I went with a light-coloured tulle confection. Volume and movement and texture all in one shot: perfect! This ended up being a nice goth last hurrah for the season. It’s time to bring out the summer wardrobe!

Last time I wrote about my reawakened interest in fragrances, I alluded to a list of perfumes I was planning to add to my collection. If, like me, you’re feeling nostalgic about 90s, today I’ve got you covered. The first addition arrived a few weeks ago, and it is a pretty iconic “green” fragrance. Got a guess? Read on and find out if you’re right.

The problem with a lot of my fave perfumes from the late 90s through the late 2000s — my previous fragrance-loving era — is that they’ve been discontinued. I know I am not alone in mourning their disappearance, which makes it hard to understand why their respective houses don’t bring them back. Take Gucci Envy, for example. Launched in 1997, it was a unique, modern, icily sexy scent: green and metallic, with white and green florals (including lily of the valley, hyacinth, and iris). It was so badass, unlike anything else on the market … then, or since. I’ve searched in vain to find a modern “dupe” but no dice. You can still find original bottle on resale platforms, but they are going for multiple hundreds of dollars. If I had the power to bring back just one discontinued perfume, it would be Envy, for sure. A close second would be Stella InTwo Peony. Launched in 2006, it was a woody, peppery peony scent that managed to be floral without being overly sweet. Again, a very unusual, complex scent … without any real current equivalents.

I guess I have a thing for unusual, somewhat offbeat (?) perfumes. Luckily, not all of them have been discontinued. There was one perfume I coveted back in the day that was green and floral — no, not Elizabeth Arden Green Tea (although that was one of my mom’s favourites).

It was Calyx! Originally launched by Prescriptives in 1987, it is now under the Clinique umbrella but the formula is substantially similar. (I say “substantially” because I’m going off memory here, not having an original to compare). I think I fell in love with it sometime in the mid-2000s, but for some reason, I never ended up buying it then, though I have vivid memories of sniffing it every time I stopped at the Prescriptives counter in Holt Renfrew. I decided this had to be my first nostalgic pick for my collection, and I was able to score a (brand new in box) bottle on Poshmark for about half the retail price. When it arrived, it was love at first sight sniff all over again. To me, it smells much as I remember the old formulation to smell, but keep in mind that it’s been almost 20 years.

I am not convinced that fragrance descriptions are all that useful — smell is too complex and subjective of an experience for that — but I enjoy reading them, so I’ll offer you mine just for the fun of it with the caveat that you should probably never blind buy a perfume based on someone else’s review of it. My immediate reaction upon spraying my wrist was “predominantly green — without any grassiness — with a whiff of sharp almost bitter, overripe fruitiness.” According to Fragrantica, the top notes include guava and green leaves, so that tracks. After a few minutes, a strong lily of the valley essence came through — lilies of the valley in a bed of green. It’s one of my favourite smells, so this makes me happy. After about 15-20 minutes, the smell settled down into a slightly woody, dewy floral. There was still an impression of lilies of the valley (which got progressively weaker with time), and lingering hint of warm sweetness. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on — maybe the impression of all those tropical fruits in the top note. As more time went on, the woodiness went away, and the scent became more straightforwardly floral — fresh florals, not heavy or overly sweet.

Out of curiosity, I asked my husband to smell my wrist around the 15 minute mark and his response was “Crisp. Water. I can smell some flowers too.” Which goes to show: everyone’s olfactory experiences are different.

Now, remember how I was talking about Envy and the impossibility of finding anything that resembles it? Wellllll … look, I am not going to tell you that Calyx is a dupe. It’s not — it does not have the metallic accord of Envy. Envy is cool green all the way, Calyx is warm/humid green. But they share a lot of DNA, both unusual “green” fragrances that are unusual in a similar way. Based on the note pyramids I can find online, this makes some sense and is probably not just some wishful thinking on my part. Both have fruity and green top notes, LOTV and freesia middle notes, and an iris/oakmoss/sandalwood base. Interestingly, I did not see Calyx mentioned in any discussions about Envy dupes on Reddit, but then I saw that Tania Sanchez, in her seminal fragrance compendium (co-written with Luca Turin) Perfumes: The A-Z Guide, referenced the similarities between Calyx and Envy. Sanchez gave Calyx a 5 star review, and clearly prefers it of the two. As a point of interest, Turin did the review of Envy in the same book and also gave it 5 stars, though his description of it didn’t, in my opinion, capture its essence. I mention this because (a) I have become a fan of Turin and his (and Sanchez’) witty, erudite (but unpretentious), and often pithy perfume reviews (plus, his book on the science of olfaction, The Secret of Scent, is fantastic if somewhat controversial), and (b) Turin hates most of the perfumes I love, like D&G Light Blue and Replica By The Fireplace. Loathes them! Gave them 1 star each. Of Light Blue, he wrote “[i]f you hate fragrance, you’re probably on your fourth bottle.” I don’t know why, but this amuses me rather than upsets me. Having read his and Sanchez’ perfume guides, I have decided that my next hobby is going to be the fragrance version of oenophilia. I want to develop my “nose” and learn more about different perfume notes. Which is not the same thing as collecting perfumes … though, as it this post makes clear, I am not entirely averse to the latter either.

Speaking of which, the second new addition to said collection is technically a steal. My husband discovered a bottle of perfume in his medicine cabinet (we have separate ones) which he’d been given as a gift many years ago and never wore. His signature scent for more than 20 years has been L’Eau de Issey Pour Homme, and he is what you might call a perfume monogamist. So, I decided to “rescue” this bottle from oblivion because the smell intrigued me, and because it was likely something my mom had chosen (probably as a Christmas gift) so it has a lot of sentimental value for me; I’m fairly certain of this because she was also the one who picked my dad’s cologne, and both are Cartier fragrances. This one is called Roadster, which makes sense as something my mom would choose for my husband, whom she knew to be obsessed with vintage cars. It is also a “green” fragrance, literally and olfactively:

Roadster has been discontinued, which is a shame because it’s a lovely fresh scent that could easily be, in my opinion, unisex. Keep in mind that I am also someone who occasionally wears her husband’s Issey perfume. Of the two, I actually find Roadster’s dry down to be less overtly masculine — probably because it includes vanilla, so it’s sweeter. Anyway, here is my description of Roadster, top to bottom. First impression is “fresh green”. The mint note comes through very clearly, but it doesn’t remind me of toothpaste or gum; instead, it has a kind of translucency to it, like tea. After 5 minutes, the mint remains the predominant note. It’s slightly spicy, but smooth. After the initial opening, which felt cool, the scent is starting to warm up. About an hour in, it settles into a very pleasant warm amber with a faint, lingering note of mint. It’s sweet but not overtly so. I asked my husband to smell the perfume on my wrist, but all he said was “minty”. It’s like he wasn’t even trying, LOL!

If perfume talk isn’t your cup of tea, I hate to tell you, you will probably be subjected to more of it in the near future. If it is your cup of tea, I have good news for you! Stay tuned for next time, when we will be talking about another perfume from my youth. Here’s your hint: purple. It’s probably not the one you’re thinking of 😉