Before we get to, what else, last week’s episode of Game of Thrones, let me just quickly mention the other stuff I’ve been watching lately, which also happens to be the reason why I haven’t had time to read anything. Misfits, baby. Yes, I am almost a decade late to the party, but man, I am glad I have finally found it! I have binge-watched the first 3 seasons — and some episodes more than once — in a little less than 2 weeks, and I am OBSESSED with it. And the soundtrack is so, so good. Once GoT is over, I will probably devote an entire post to trying to convince you to watch the show, if you haven’t already. Fair warning, friends.

One more thing … if, like me, you unabashedly love the song of the summer, Despacito (or even if, on the contrary, you hate it), check out this Vulture article that takes a truly in-depth look at the elements that have contributed to its mad success. I am a philistine when it comes to music theory, but I found this analysis fascinating. Also, as someone who loves Latin music, let me just say that I hope the success of Despacito means that more Spanish-language artists are going to end up on my local radio.

Alright, Games of Thrones. Season 7, episode 6.

INCOMING SPOILERS …

… ALSO, INCOMING RANT WARNING.

The more I think/brood about last week’s episode of GoT, the angrier I get. Let me start off by saying that this rant doesn’t come from a “books are better” place. I love the books, but I have also very much enjoyed the show since it has veered off from the books. But two things. One, I hate when characters act in incredibly stupid ways solely for purposes of advancing a (dubious) plot. Two, I also kinda hate where we’ve suddenly ended up, plot-wise, and where we are being set up to go. It feels a bit like a betrayal of promises made in the books — the ethos of the story more so than the narrative. This must be what being a fanboi feels like; I’ve never been really invested in a fictional world before, so it’s a first for me. And yes, I know how ridiculous this all sounds.

What does it all have to do with the death of the dragon Viserion? Well, it comes back to that whole “dragon has 3 heads” prophecy in the book. Most of us book readers have theories about what that means, but the loose consensus has always centered around the epic prospect of 3 dragon-riders. With one dragon gone, that theory has been shot to hell. Worse, the new alternative, which that really questionable scene at the end of episode 6 seems to be setting up, is just … ugh. Are Dany and Jon, the two Targaryens left standing, possibly going to, um, create the third “head of the dragon”? Because that “but think of the children” foreshadowing sledgehammer sure seem to hit both of them over the head this episode (via Tyrion and Jorah, respectively). I’m starting to think that the show will not be content in shoving Dany and Jon’s relationship down our throats — total lack of any apparent chemistry notwithstanding, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT TYRION! — without a whole “and baby makes three” twist.

But why do you care, Adina, you may ask. I will point you back to my personal pet theory, namely that Jon is a kinda of Messiah figure. It all fits: humble beginnings, secret august heritage, noble/pure heart, self-sacrificing, etc. Characters like that don’t get to have happy endings; they die so others can have happy endings. Damn, Beric even told Jon as much (foreshadowing sledgehammer strikes again). So unless the show wants to turn into a complete travesty, Dany, Jon and their Targ incest baby will not live happily ever after. But if Jon dies, does the show have the balls to do anything other than put Dany and her progeny on the Iron Throne? I really doubt it. Which makes for a really boring ending when you think about it. Because of course it would be Dany at the end, and 8 seasons’ worth of political machinations will have been for nought.

Now, if the show actually kills all 3 Targaryens before all is said and done (perhaps as fulfillment of another Lord of Light/Azor Ahai myth from the books), then I take all of this back. I just don’t think it will happen.

As an aside, if the Targaryens are out of contention, who do I think should end up on the Iron Throne? I’m still partial to Sansa, and I’m starting to think that this is where Gendry might become useful as something other than a crappy plot device. He is, after all, the last of the Baratheons — bastard, but still. Yeah, I know he had a connection with Arya, but Arya is currently being a brat and I don’t care. A Stark/Baratheon union, finally? With no Targaryen Romeo to swoop in and scupper the plan, why not?

A few other grumbles:
– But seriously, Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington have zero — ZERO!! — chemistry. I feel like I’m losing my marbles every time the show tries to convince me otherwise.
– Let me reiterate what I’ve already said last week: that capture-a-wight plan was the epitome of stupidity. It required not one but two deus ex machina devices to fix its sheer stupidity.
– In the same vein, while I haven’t minded some of the plot-servicing teleportation that’s been going on this season, it seemed really out of control this episode. It’s almost as if the writers had read the Reddit complaints, and said “oh yeah? hold my beer, boo!”
– Poor Benjen. Forever saving his dumb-ass nephews from the consequences of their poorly thought-out plans.
– Poor Gendry. First with the rowing, now with the running. The boy can’t catch a break.
– WTF are Arya and Sansa doing? Where is Bran? I have no idea, and I’m starting to root for Littlefinger again at this point.
– I want a Three’s Company remake featuring Tormund, Brienne, and the Hound roaming the backroads of Westeros. Podrick can babysit all those giant, ginger babies.
– WHY DIDN’T DANY TAKE OUT THE NIGHT KING WITH FIRE?? WHY DIDN’T THE NIGHT KING TAKE OUT DROGON?? WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME UP WITH THOSE GIANT FREAKING CHAINS?? WHEN DID WIGHTS LEARN HOW TO DEEP DIVE? Listen, I get that an ice zombie dragon is really cool or whatever, but surely there had to have been a less ridiculous way to make that happen.

OK, I’m done. I hate to say this, but I think I’m ready for GoT to go on hiatus. I need a break to forget the increasing ridiculousness of this season. Buuuut, you know where I’ll be come Sunday. So join me in bitching about Episode 6 in the comments, then come back next week for the final wrap-up.

Before we talk Game of Thrones, let’s check in with my reading list. Last week, I finally got around to reading A Scandalous Life, the biography of Lady Jane Digby by Mary S. Lovell. For those, like me, who are not familiar with that name, Lady Jane was a woman who gave up on social conventions pretty early in her life, and chose a (romantic) path well off the beaten track for her time; after a notorious aristocratic divorce, liaisons with various other men (including an emperor), her third and last husband was an Arab sheikh who was some 20 years younger than her. Viewed from a contemporary perspective, her choices don’t seem all that radical (when compared to say, the matrimonial career of Elizabeth Taylor), but it was heady stuff for the 19th century.

Lovell is one of my fave historical biographers, and I really enjoyed her writing (as always) and her perspective on the subject in this book. I wish she had included less extensive and frequent excerpts from other people’s writings to or about Lady Jane, but that’s a small quibble — I just hate long embedded quotes in any context. (That’s a bit of a lawyer in-joke.) What I liked a lot was the fact that Lovell acknowledged all of the privilege that allowed Lady Jane to rebel without suffering too much for it; she was exceptionally beautiful in an age when female beauty still counted for more than anything else, including intelligence and education (which she also possessed), and she had a relatively supportive (wealthy and titled) family who never fully abandoned her. In other words, she had a fairly substantial “safety net” throughout her life. This doesn’t fully detract from the fact that Lady Jane did take considerable risks that other women in her position did not, but it puts her choices in context — something I appreciate in a good biography.

Anyway, Lady Jane’s life was filled with juicy and/or thrilling episodes, which makes me think it is definitely overdue for a biopic treatment. Just think of the (male) eye candy! Or indulge me while I do. Ahem.

Moving on.

GAME OF THRONES TIME.

Requisite spoiler warning, blah, blah, blah.

Things are really zipping along now, eh? I mean, literally — people are traveling back and forth across all of Westeros in no time at all. I, for one, am not complaining. I will reiterate what I said earlier; the writers shouldn’t have dawdled in seasons 5 and 6, and we wouldn’t be in this situation of glossing over really cool events and reunions. But since we are here, we might as well get through it as expeditiously as possible. The title of episode 5 was a bit of a misnomer since we spent all of 5 minutes at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, but it was decently paced and delivered lots of thrills.

Speaking of which … the true Targaryen heir has been revealed! By Gilly! As a book reader, I feel vindicated in my years-long speculation on this point. I mean, it was a widely-shared speculation but still. It is official canon now! Now I just can’t wait for everyone to find out. Picture that mic drop moment; I want an entire episode devoted to various characters’ reactions to that news. Of course, the show ain’t got time for that but I hope they make whatever they can spare worth the wait. If only they could resurrect Catelyn Stark so someone could tell her. I HATED Catelyn for the way she treated Jon.

Speaking of the Starks, here’s a question: are Catelyn’s girls getting played by Littlefinger as easily as their mother did? And if so, are the results going to be similarly disastrous? The answer is probably “no”, if only because Arya and Sansa have All Knowing Bran on their side. Surely, he will sort out any misunderstandings before things get out of hand. With that said, I’d much rather find out that Arya and Sansa have been luring Littlefinger into a trap by pretending to be at odds. That would be infinitely preferable to sisterly squabbles, round 2. My prediction after this episode was that Littlefinger would meet his end courtesy of Arya, wearing Sansa’s face and using Bran’s dagger. Someone reminded me that the only way Arya can use a face is by killing its original owner so … scratch that. Even better, maybe she can use Catelyn’s face (which, IIRC, we’ve seen at the Temple of the Many Faced God or whatever that place in Braavos was called). Littlefinger would think he was having the best dream of his life and then, BAM! Dead.

Yes, I have been thinking about this.

Quick hits:

– I have actually not watched the early seasons of GoT (I read the books and jumped straight into season 4), so I missed Gendry’s original storyline, but I am DOWN for Gendry 2.0: Bromance Bugaloo. How cute was Gendry and Jon’s meet-cute? So cute. “You’re shorter than your dad.” Heh. Also, truth.
– I freaking love Ser Davos. He is probably my second fave character now.
– Poor Tormund and his doomed love for the “big woman”.
– Speaking of which, what are your bets on which of the Magnificent Seven/Suicide Squad, North Edition are making it back alive and well? Mine: Jon (for sure); the Hound (too much unfinished business); Jorah (ugh, but very likely); Gendry (that bromance is too hot). I really, really hope that Tormund makes it back — I’ve grown fond of that ginger bastard — but I have a bad feeling about his chances. Beric, Thoros and the others … toast. Or, I should say, wight fodder.
– But also … this whole bright-a-wight-back-to-convince-Cersei-to-join-forces is the dumbest thing. I like Tyrion, but what the hell, man?
– Aww, Drogon likes his step-daddy.
– Dany shares Drogon`s feelings, obvi. Jorah, you`ve still friend-zoned. Hahahaha! (Did I mention how much I hate Jorah?)

That`s it for another week. Share your GoT thoughts and speculation in the comments; ditto for reading rec`s — I promise to return to regular What I Read posts soon!

A couple of weeks ago, I found a random biography of Napoleon III at the thrift store, so of course I bought it. It’s my reading catnip; I love French rulers — they have the messiest personal lives, which makes for excellent reading for someone with my superficial interests. Gossip is always fun, and historical gossip is among the best. Napoleon III and His Carnival Court (John Bierman) is nicely peppered with gossipy bits. The titular emperor — step-grandson and nephew of the great Napoleon — was an interesting character, with an active personal life. Married to the former Eugenie de Montijo, daughter of a Spanish noble and the preeminent fashion plate of her time, Napoleon had dalliances with a bevy of beautiful women from all over the continent. His rule, known as the Second Empire, coincided with a flowering of French culture and style. It also marked the heyday of the grandes horizontales (high class courtesans), whose world was immortalized by Emile Zola in the classic novel Nana — one of my favourite 19th century books, along with Zola’s Pot-Bouille.

Sadly, this biography does not appear to be available on Amazon Prime at this time, so I recommend Zola to you instead (think Balzac, but earthier). Or, if you want to read more about real-life famous French courtesans (including the inspiration for Zola’s Nana), try The Courtesans by Joanna Richardson. I also recommend Napoleon’s Buttons: 17 Molecules That Changed the World, which has nothing to do with Napoleon III and only a little with his namesake ancestor, but is a very entertaining science read.

In other news, I watched The Incredible Jessica James on Netflix and it was really good. A pretty straight-forward rom-com plotline, but with great dialogue and really engaging performances (and a nicely diverse cast). Highly recommend.

And, of course, Game of Thrones.

Mandatory spoiler warning.

I am throwing this extra paragraph in for anyone who needs it to X out of here. It’s not too late. Go. Come back on Monday for more non-GoT, fashiony stuff.

Are we alone now? Onwards.

I really enjoyed last week’s episode. OK, that’s an understatement. I loved it. I still feel like the show is dragging its feet on some of the plotlines — the Stark kids need to hurry up and put that Chekhov’s dagger to good use, for example. I love Littlefinger (he used to be my second fave character on the show, behind Jon — don’t even ask) but his time is over. Similarly, if the show is dead set on having Jon and Dany engage in incest-y shenanigans (it really sounds like a terrible idea when one puts it like that, doesn’t it?) then they might as well just get to it. They still have zero chemistry, but maybe Davos will narrate their hook-up for our benefit and then maybe it will seem somewhat plausible. Davos could sell anything, to anyone.

But none of that matters because the battle between the Lannisters and the Dothraki (and Drogon, of course) was everything we could have wanted it to be. I’m glad that HBO hasn’t burned (haha) through all of its CGI budget prior to this episode, because that was one amazing spectacle. I was on the edge of my seat for the last 15 minutes or so of the episode, even though I knew that neither Dany nor Jamie were going to die — Dany because she hasn’t shagged Jon yet (kidding but not really), and Jamie because he hasn’t killed Cersei yet. I think Drogon was and is equally safe, though I know some people are speculating that the spear was poisoned. I don’t think that’s likely. To be honest, I was afraid that Bronn was going to die. Clearly, his plot armor is as strong as Arya’s last season. I do hope he dumps the Lannisters soon, because they ain’t worth staring down the business end of a dragon as far as I’m concerned.

Other quick thoughts:

– I really struggled to understand some of Sansa’s reactions to her siblings, particularly to Arya’s mock fight with Brienne. I don’t know if that was just a questionable acting choice on Sophie Turner’s part or intended to be foreshadowing of some kind of inter-familial strife. I would love for the Stark kids to pull together — see my comment above regarding Littlefinger, but also in general — so I hope it was the former.

– I am guessing that Jaime is about to become a prisoner YET AGAIN, which is going to be interesting if it means that he and Tyrion are reunited.

– Destroying the grain carts? Maybe not the best move, Dany. Winter is coming and all.

– An Arya-Brienne-Hound reunion? I am THERE!!

Lastly, a confession. After watching the last episode, I caved and ended up tracking down a summary of the season 7 leaks online. I won’t discuss them here because, judging by what we’ve seen so far, they seem to be legit. I will say that while some of (purported) twists served to confirm my own speculations, others came as complete surprises. Oh, and one more thing: I have no idea how they are going to cram everything that is still supposed to happen this season into 3 episodes. It makes me really excited for Sunday night. THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GO DOWN.

Join me in my GoT speculation (or book talk) in the comments. Happy Friday!