I have to admit that I’ve been highly disengaged from the concept of bag organization ever since I stopped being aesthetically super-invested in my bags. My works bags have been a mess of hastily thrown together items and hardly a worthy subject for a blog post. But I have been influenced! I have been watching Instagrammer Things I Bought and Liked’s “What’s in my bag” series, and my latent obsession with organizational systems flared up again. You know what? I like putting things in bags, and putting those bags in bigger bags, and so on until I have a veritable bag Matrioshka. It’s deeply satisfying – more so even than being a total slob, which is my only other mode of existence.

Highly organized or total slob. C’est moi.

What I also like about TIBAL’s series is seeing all the little products she carries in her bag; while a lot of her tastes run far more “champagne budget” than my own “beer budget”, I do like making notes of things to try. Some of it is cheap stuff off Amazon (sometimes surprisingly effective/useful), and some of it is stuff I can look for in the clearance aisle at Winners, Nordstrom Rack, etc.

With that in mind, I thought I’d write this post in case you share my interest in strangers’ bag contents. Also, I’ve finally reorganized my work bag and I feel like this accomplishment needs to be recognized somehow.

First up, the bag.

I still switch up my bags from time to time, but not everyday. I used to match my bag to my outfit every single day, can you believe it? Good times. When I say that I’m not a “bag lady” anymore, this is what I mean. Bags have gone back to being largely functional items for me, although I still do get the occasional heart-eyes moment over a bag design (like the highly impractical but gorgeous Danse Lente mini bag I got for Christmas).

By necessity, on work days, I have to carry one of my large totes – you will see why in a moment. On weekends, or whenever I carry my laptop backpack, I tend to switch to a smaller bag. When I’m running errands only, I use one of my small crossbody bags or MbMJ backpack, and I radically streamline my bag contents (more below).

In terms of totes, I alternate between 3-4 bags I’ve had for years. My 2 favourites in terms of function – and specifically, volume and shoulder handle drop – are the Fossil tote pictured here and a Moulinette Soeurs canvas bag. I am deeply intrigued by the MZ Wallace tote that TIBAL has featured in her IG Stories, but I am not entirely sure yet that I want to spend multiple hundreds on a bag that is pure function (I don’t particularly love the aesthetics) when I already have other bags that work just fine.

Ok, on to the contents.

Omitted from this photo are my packed breakfast and lunch (including a bottle and a can of Diet Coke, go ahead and be horrified); I also often pack a pair of shoes. I don’t wear my “nice” office shoes outdoors, even in summer. I keep some nice shoes (3-4 pairs in neutral colours) at work, and then bring extras from home as my daily outfit needs dictate. I prefer to commute in flats that I don’t mind beating up, getting dirty, etc. I have a plain black pair that I wear into the ground over a couple of years, then thrift a replacement; lather, rinse, repeat.

I’ve had this Louis Vuitton Sarah wallet since 2010 or 2011, and I will probable never need to buy a new wallet again. It still looks almost new, and I purchased it secondhand from a local consignment store. I think I spent a couple hundred bucks on it; it’s practically indestructible and I have not babied it in any way. I do have to clear stuff out of it every so often – I tend to hoard random bits of paper and gift cards – but otherwise it’s quite capacious.

The only downside is that I do have to switch to a smaller wallet if I’m wearing one of my small bags. I use either the zip-around MbMJ wallet or the tiny Fossil pouch (which fits a few cards and some cash).

Ok, so yes, I carry 2 phones (not pictured): one for personal use, one for work. I use my personal phone for all my blogging-related needs (including photo taking) and also to watch Netflix so it’s basically a personal necessity. I rarely use our home laptop as my husband and son have commandeered it. I currently use an ancient iPhone 6 from 2015 (a former work phone) but I have decided to upgrade to the iPhone 11 … soon.

I don’t carry any chargers with me (although maybe I should) but keep one at the office and one in my car. My headphones are usually a tangled mess at the bottom of my bag because I am an animal.

These are my blue light glasses (under $20 on Amazon). I don’t know if they actually have any measurable effect on my eyes, but I get tons of compliments on how they look.

I started using a pencil case last year when I got back into fountain pens. This is a cheapie I picked up at Michaels for, like, $2.

Lamy Safari pens (medium nibs) are my daily use pens. I love them. They glide so, so well. I have 3 and will probably buy more; I’m waiting for the 2020 limited editions to be released. Each pen is filled with a different colour ink because I like variety. My fave inks are Iroshizuku by Pilot. They are not cheap – each bottle is about $30CAD on Amazon or at a local store – but they last forever. I’m still barely a quarter of the way through my first bottle of my most-used colour after a whole year.

Apart from the Lamys, I also have highlighters, some Sharpies, and a mechanical pencil and eraser. Nothing fancy. I may need to get some cute Stabilo highlighters soon.

Ok, this is the main bag within bag. First, a word on the bag. It’s a random Jones NY pouch and it’s old. I don’t remember where I got it, but it may have been Winners. I don’t love how it looks but every time I try to find a replacement on Amazon, it’s impossible. The 3-zippered compartments are genius, and it seems like no one else has made this type of design. Anyway, this one still works fine so I just have to get over its blah aesthetic.

In the main compartment, I keep a notebook. It’s a random one with lined pages from Winners. I use this mainly to track my personal expenditures every month (and have since about 2017), but also to jot down other things like party planning needs, packing lists, things to sell, etc.

I also have a small notepad with tear-off sheets; a Post-It pad may replace this in the future.

And I have a small bottle of hand sanitizer.

In the middle compartment, I keep my sunglasses. I know I should probably keep them in a separate case, but I treat my sunglasses like a barbarian. It’s why I always buy cheap ones; actually, I hunt for designer ones on deep discount. My current pair is Judith Leiber, and I bought them for around $20 at Winners.

I also keep some hair stuff in here now that I am growing out my hair. This barrette came from Nordstrom Rack; a pair of 3 was under $10. It looks quite luxe and does a decent job of holding back my (grown-out) bangs if I want them out of my face. The scrunchie also came as a 3-pack from the Nordstrom Rack. My hair is now long enough to pull back in a micro-ponytail and I find that these scrunchies work better at holding it all in place than the usual elastics or those plastic swirly things that other people seem to love.

I also have a travel size Mario Badescu facial spray; these don’t do much in terms of skincare, but feel refreshing so I like to spritz a bit throughout the day if I remember. I buy these for under $10CAD at Nordstrom Rack.

I recently also added a hand cream in here. I have been trying to be more diligent about washing hands throughout the day, and using hand sanitizer in between, and it’s very drying. I keep a large bottle of Hempz lotion at the office, but I also like having this little Lollia mini tube. I got it for $6 at Winners and it smells very nice.

Lastly, I have some roll-ons from Saje: one peppermint (supposedly for headaches), and one called “stress release”. I don’t know how much these really help, but I like the smells and applying a tiny bit is a nice pick-me-up in the middle of a day.

In the small compartment is where I keep my emergency make-up. I have an eye pencil and a lipstick basically. I don’t bother to re-apply my face makeup through the day because (a) I don’t care to; (b) I don’t want to have to carry extra stuff, and (c) my foundation is expensive and I don’t feel like buying multiples. I do keep some floss and a small tube of Elizabeth Arden 8 Hour Miracle cream, which is perfect for chapped lips and noses.

And that’s it, folks. Notable mentions of things I don’t carry with me, but keep at the office: Kleenex, Advil, chewing gum.

If you’ve got reccs for must-have products, bags within bags, or anything related, drop me a comment below because you know I’m ready with my browser open.

I knew going in that I wasn’t going to like January. I never do. Apologies to people born in January, winter enthusiasts, and people from the southern hemisphere. [Do people like January if it’s the middle of summer? Things to ponder.] Here, January is dark, cold, and dreary; it feels like an uphill battle to wake up in the morning. The early part of the month we got hit with a -40 Celsius cold blast – we were the coldest place on earth there for a while – which didn’t improve anyone’s mood. The last half of the month, my entire family got hit with various viruses and I spent almost a week at home, part of the time delirious with fever and pain from a sinus-double-ear-and-throat infection. And that’s on top of some personal stuff that I’ve been trying to get a handle on.

But you know what? We made it through. Whenever things get challenging, I always remind myself: the only way out is through. We are all more resilient than we give ourselves credit for.

Also? 4 more weeks until I go on vacation. Beach, here I come!

But, first, January outfits:

My original plan was to wear bright and colourful outfits as inoculation against the winter doldrums. I did end up wearing some colour, but not a lot. The truth is that monochrome (and black) is my comfort zone, and I decided not to fight it and just go with it. The Witcher inspiration was still strong, anyway, so I chose texture and interesting proportions over colour. I personally really enjoyed each of these outfits, but I did start to wonder/worry that they would become repetitive and boring for my “audience” on IG. Which is a silly thing to worry about given that I’m a regular person who happens to share her outfits on social media, and not an actual influencer. I’ve done my best to banish the thought and not let the medium dictate my message (or something to that effect), and I think I’ve made some progress in terms of having a healthier approach to my social media use.

I have no real outfit plans for February; I am not big into Valentine’s Day so no red-and-pink theme for me. As always, I will work to incorporate some of my recent thrift finds into new outfits, which this month will include not one but TWO ruffly waistcoats. Oops. Blame Jo March.

Apologies in advance – this will be a rambling post with minimal fashion content.

I am turning 40 in August. I’ll be spending the next 7 months, give or take, sorting out my many mixed feelings about this. I would like to be able to say that they don’t exist, that this milestone is no big deal to me, that it isn’t even a milestone. But that would be a lie. I am trying to be better about confronting my self-lies, and also about sitting with difficult emotions instead of pushing them away and pretending they don’t exist. And even resisting the urge to “fix” them, which is my always my first instinct. That, too, feels like a kind of denial.

Reading Pema Chodron’s Start Where You Are was the nudge I needed to try a new approach: to get comfortable just sitting with the “ickiness” – feelings or thoughts that are challenging. That contradict who I believe (or want) myself to be. I want to better understand what lies at their root. It’s not always self-evident. I want to sit with them, without judgment, until I get to a point where I can release them, without judgment. That is the goal, anyway.

Not all my feelings around turning 40 and this season of life fall into the “icky” category. In this case, it’s the very fact that my feelings are quite contradictory and all over the place that creates the challenge; trying to reconcile them feels like an unmoveable burden. In fairness, this is not an unusual state of affairs for someone who is a 4W3 type; inner conflict and contradiction is our nature and I’ve learned to cope with a certain amount of it as part of my “standard operating procedure”. At certain times, however, it starts to weigh too heavily and when it does, it’s usually a sign that self-work is required.

As I do the work, I am going to focus on a mantra which has given me solace before: what you don’t have, you don’t need it now.

Yes, that is a U2 lyric. Fight me.

It’s a good grounding mantra for someone who is as incredibly privileged as I am, but inclined to focus on what could be better (externally and within). Along with practicing intentional gratitude, reminding myself that I have (and am) everything I need for this moment in time is reassuring. My BFF posted this on her IG stories last week, and it resonated in much the same way:

Around this time of year, I like to set a “theme” to guide my overall mindset for the months ahead. I don’t remember my exact word for 2019, but it was something around the idea of preparation and build-up. I felt like 39 was going to be the calm before the … well, not so much the storm, but an important new phase of my life. It was a quiet year of gathering strength. And yet: I don’t feel ready. I felt more ready this time last year, to be honest. Today, I feel soft and squishy, like a bug whose rock has been unexpectedly turned over. And I feel stuck in that vulnerable spot. And rather than try to build some false sense of forward momentum, I am going to just stop and sit here for a while.

Maybe that needs to be my word for 2020: here.

It is what it is. Here. Now.