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Slow Rituals for The Season

We are coming up on the time of year that always feels the heaviest to me. The change in weather and diminishing daylight affect my mood negatively; November feels especially somber because (in Canada) there are no festive occasions to lighten things up. This year, though, I want to lean into the transition rather than fight it. November is a downward and inward movement – into the slumber of winter, into one’s subconscious. (I like to think of it as the season of Persephone Descending.) Being able to experience this in a warm, safe environment is a privilege I don’t take for granted. I am never more grateful for my cozy cocoon of a house than I am this time of year.

To honour the season, this year I am adopting a few slow rituals. These are activities that require me to slow down, pay attention to my senses, and fully immerse myself in what I am doing in the moment. They help to bring intentionality and mindfulness into my days. I do most of these early in the morning, as a way to set the mood.

Light a Candle

I have become a fan of scented candles in the last few years, but I never burn them in the spring and summer months. To me, they are a quintessentially winter experience. Lighting them and watching the soft glow of the flame is soothing. Having a fragrant working space (at home) is a bonus. I like Paddywax candles, but I also use Sand & Fog and other brands – it’s really all about the scent for me. I love woodsy, smoky, and light floral smells the most. I usually light a candle near my office space right before I start working in the morning, and let it burn for a couple of hours. The scent can linger, then slowly fade. I sometimes also light candles in the evening, as a nighttime ritual before bed.

Make a Cup of Tea

I am not a big tea drinker, and I rarely drink tea in the warmer months. But, lately, I have been rediscovering the joy of tea (especially as I am trying to cut down on my consumption of diet Coke, my staple beverage). Buying a new kettle has transformed the process for me as well. We hadn’t had a proper kettle for more than a decade, and boiling water in a pot on the stove was a hassle. Our new Smeg kettle is a delight, though. Filling it up and pressing the little lever to start it is part of the tactile joy of making a cuppa. So is selecting a mug from my thrifted collection. For the tea itself, I am partial to David’s Tea Forever Nuts and Acquired Taste Lemon Cream, but I also enjoy Earl Grey and roiboos teas. When I’m having the latter, I have started to add milk as well to make it a richer tasting experience.

Use a Fountain Pen

I have a lovely collection of Lamy pens but had fallen out of the habit of using them. After years of gel pens and Sharpie markers (and don’t get me wrong, I still love those), I’ve picked up my fountain pens again, especially for writing at work. Refilling the ink is an important part of the process, as is selecting the colour. I use Iroshizuku inks, which have lovely colours and flow beautifully. Writing with a fountain pen also transforms my writing; I slow down and write more neatly and with a more rounded hand.

Wear Perfume

After I started working from home, I pretty much stopped using perfume (much like I stopped wearing makeup most days). But wearing perfume for oneself is not unlike getting dressed up for oneself (which I’ve always continued to do): it feels luxurious. It is a sensual delight, and slow rituals are all about appreciating our senses. I only have a couple of perfumes at the moment: By the Fireplace from Maison Margiela, and Butterfly from Hanae Mori. I am planning to buy a couple more – perhaps revisiting some old favourites in the process.

Write in a Journal

This is another habit that fell victim to my hectic schedule this year. Because I have other outlets for creative writing, keeping a diary feels like more like updating a written calendar than a creative exercise. It doesn’t appeal to me from my perspective. But I enjoy journaling as a meditative exercise; I’ve been writing in this Moon Journal for years now (it’s supposed to be weekly, but we can all make our own schedules) and I have picked it up again. I love the prompts, especially because many of them encourage you to focus on the senses. I usually journal in the evenings (alternating with tarot meditations) as a way to unwind from and release the day.

These slow rituals have allowed me to enter the dark time of the year in a more gentle and loving manner, which in turn has had a positive impact on my mental wellbeing. I think anything can serve as a slow ritual, depending on one’s personality and preferences, as long as it involves taking time to really savour the moment and sink into a sensory experience. I would love to hear from you about your own slow rituals and other ways that you navigate this season.

What I Wore: October 2023, part three

Details: Wilfred sweater (retail), J. Crew blazer (retail), Banana Republic pants (retail), Josef belt (thrifted), Chloe shoes (gift)

Thoughts: This is a perfect fall outfit for me. The colour palette is perfection; I usually gravitate towards the cool end of the spectrum, but these browns and yellows have a cool tone which really works for me. The sweater and blazer are super old (2016-2017) and the pants are recent, so this highlights the possibilities of a versatile wardrobe. This might not be trendy, but it also doesn’t look dated; the pant silhouette does make things feel more modern, without screaming “trendy”.

Details: ElevenParis tee, Joie cardigan, Ralph Lauren skirt (all thrifted), MaxMara belt (Poshmark)

Thoughts: Another outfit that I loved wearing. I adore this skirt — it’s wool and has a beautiful check, the very definition of autumnal; I tend to wear it backwards to highlight the slit. To me, it’s pretty much the perfect skirt silhouette. Here I emphasized the vertical line by pairing it with a long cardigan (with a nice textural contrast), and added some juxtaposition with a fun, irreverent t-shirt. I still felt like something was missing, so I added this tonal but funky belt. It basically takes the place of a statement necklace and adds extra definition around the waist, which highlights the shape of the skirt.

Details: Ines de la Fressange x Uniqlo shirt, cashmere cardigan, UO pants (all thrifted), Ralph Lauren belt (Poshmark), J. Crew shoes (consignment), Zara tie (from husband)

Thoughts: I really like the colour scheme of this cardigan; it’s not my usual colours, but there is something very pleasing about it, so I decided to let it be the focal point of the outfit. I picked up on the marigold yellow with a tie, and kept everything else pretty simple. Simple but effective.

Details: Revello top (retail), Second Female cardigan, Jessie skirt (both thrifted), Laredo boots (consignment), Paloma Picasso bag (Poshmark)

Thoughts: This skirt-top combo was one of my fave late-summer fits, and I decided to update it for fall, taking advantage of the gorgeous weather on (Canadian) Thanksgiving. These boots … I cannot say enough good things about them. I bought them last spring because I had been looking for a pair of granny boots for ages, and these seemed like a good compromise. But I was still a bit unsure. Were they a bit too masculine? While they are not a classic granny boot, they can lean in that direction, but they can also lean into combat boot territory, and these are both very pertinent to my current aesthetic. And they are so comfortable! Good job, Old Me!

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, Jeanne Pierre sweater, Talbots skirt (all thrifted), Jimmy Choo shoes (eBay)

Thoughts: This outfit was inspired by a look from the Dries Van Noten SS 2024 runway collection. What captivated me was a combo of chunky green sweater and blue-striped shirt. My versions are totally different from the DvN ones, but it doesn’t matter; I love this combo, and I probably wouldn’t have thought to pair them like this on my own. Yay for inspiration! I struggle a bit with choosing a bottom, but ultimately took the cue from the runway again, and chose this camel hair skirt. The runway original was khaki and had a totally different silhouette, but again – it was the general colour palette I wanted to replicate. I really liked the relaxed vibe of this.

Details: H&M top (retail), Everlane sweater, Ralph Lauren jacket (both thrifted), Icone skirt (swap), Laredo boots (consignment)

Thoughts: Those boots again — see!? They are so good. This was another 90s-influenced outfit that took me back to my teenage years. And I even got a compliment on it at the thrift store! Sweet!

Thrifting the 90s

If you’ve been following the blog over the last few years, you will have noticed that much of my thrifting focus has shifted to vintage. Why is that and why now?

There are a few reasons for my loving vintage now. I sometimes think regretfully about all the cool vintage stuff I probably missed over the past decade because I wasn’t looking for it. But the reality is that my personal style had not yet evolved to a point where vintage made sense. I first needed to develop a very strong sartorial identity, and only then figure out how vintage could play a role in that. I have no interest in looking like I’m wearing a costume; for me, the key is to incorporate vintage in a way that feels, if not necessarily trendy/contemporary, at least unique and personalized.

It also just so happens that quite a lot of pieces from the 80s and 90s — though by no means all, hello neon legwarmers! — blend easily into my current style avatars. Some of my favourite designers, like Ralph Lauren, have maintained a consistent aesthetic over the years which makes older pieces highly desirable. 90s stuff is also currently very trendy, and I prefer thrifting the originals over buying the current version in stores, generally at a considerable premium.

And, of course, there is the question of quality. In most cases, the quality of even mall and department store brand clothing from before, say, the mid-2000s is better than mid-tier designer clothing now. While acrylics and polyester were not uncommon, natural fabrics like cotton, linen, and wool were used a lot more than they are now. Construction and finishes are also often (though not always) better in vintage clothing than contemporary stuff.

Ok, so I’ve told you all the reasons why I love thrifting for vintage. If you want to give it a try for yourself, here are some of my tips for thrifting clothing from the 80s and 90s.

What To Look For

When it comes to stuff from the 80s and 90s, some of my favourite things to thrift are, in no particular order:

  • Skirts – wool, linen and silk skirts; common silhouettes include: pleated A-line midi or maxi skirts; full (twirly) skirts; tube (long) skirts; leather pencil midi skirts; lots of plaids and florals.
  • Sweaters – wool and cotton sweaters in fun patterns as well as neutrals; chunky fisherman-style sweaters as a special favourite.
  • Blazers – oversized blazers and long-line blazers (but beware of shoulder pads if, like me, you have broad shoulders already, as these tend to create a linebacker silhouette) in fun plaids and checks; cashmere and camel hair blazers; and leather blazers (late 90s and early 2000s silhouettes are the best).
  • Vests – wool or silk waistcoats and vests in a variety of colours and patterns (including embellishments like beading and embroidery); wool sweater vests; denim and leather vests.

On the flip side, I don’t tend to buy vintage pants. Tapered silhouettes for dress pants were popular in the 80s and 90s, and that’s not a style I personally gravitate towards these days. I like high-waisted jeans, but I find that a lot of vintage styles are not “curvy” cuts, which I need because of my waist-to-hip ratio. (I won’t invest in tailoring for denim because I can easily find current jeans that fit me off the rack.) Vintage denim also tends to be less stretchy. I know some people love vintage Levis, but I have not found a pair that worked on my body. That being said, these could be things that work for you.

I also don’t tend to buy a lot of vintage dresses, but 80s/90s styles that I commonly see are prairie/cottagecore-style dresses in cotton and ramie; tube, tank, and slip-style dresses in velvet and rayon (silk is more rare); and chambray and denim button-up or pinafore-style dresses. Most of them are midi and maxi lengths which, if you’re like me, is a big bonus — plus, it fits current trends.

Sizing

I think most people know this, but it bears repeating: vintage sizing is smaller than contemporary equivalents. For example, my vintage size in skirts and other bottoms is one or two sizes bigger than in modern clothing (depending on how snug I want the fit to be). For jackets and tops, it’s usually a one size difference, but keep in mind that the cut of blazers, in particular, tended to be oversized. Again, we are talking about clothing from the 80s and 90s; earlier vintage will generally fit even smaller.

What I have noticed is that vintage sizing tends to be more consistent than modern sizing. I can reliably buy the same size across different brands and be fairly certain that it will fit. That isn’t often true for contemporary clothing, where sizing can be all over the place. However, if you’re buying vintage online, it is still a good idea to check measurements to avoid surprises.

Brands

When it comes to 80s and 90s vintage, I love looking for what some people might consider “old lady” brands: Talbots, Liz Clairborne (including LizWear and LizSport), Eddie Bauer, Laura Ashley, and Tabi. These brands can be overlooked because of associations with “dowdy” or boring clothes, but the quality is fantastic (materials and construction) and individual pieces can look surprisingly contemporary. Shoulder pads are my personal bugbear, but in many cases, are easily removable. Some of my favourite vintage pieces come from this brands; if you read my weekly outfit recaps, you will have noticed most of these names pop up regularly.

I also love finding 90s clothing from mall brands like Gap (my absolute fave), Mexx, Esprit, Le Chateau, J. Crew, and Club Monaco. Early 2000s Banana Republic is also great. The quality of these pieces is far superior to their current equivalent. These days, brands like Gap and BR are putting out clothing that is, essentially, a replica of these older styles … at much higher price points than what the originals can be bought at the thrifts.

Vintage designer is much harder to find, although I have regularly come across brands like Ralph Lauren, MaxMara, Escada (fantastic blazers), Ungaro, Louis Ferraud, and Donna Karan. I’ve used my vintage fashion magazines as a resource to learn more (or refresh my memory) about designers who used to be popular in the 80s and 90s but have since receded from the fashion front lines — think Romeo Gigli, Rifat Ozbek, Todd Oldham, Nina Ricci, etc. I don’t see a lot of those in the thrifts but they are on my BOLO list.

Dating vintage

How can you tell if something is vintage? Unless you’re an expert on fashion history, it might be challenging to date a piece based purely on design and construction. But I find that clothing labels can provide clues even for the layperson. Union labels are a reliable indicator of vintage, but they tend to be rare in clothing made in the 80s (and even more so in the 90s). There are online directories for clothing labels where you can look up a specific brand and see how its labels changed over time. This will give you the most accurate idea of dates, assuming you can find information on the specific brand/label. If you don’t have the time for extensive research, the place of manufacture can provide a more general time frame. The offshoring of clothing manufacture followed certain geographical patterns from the 1960s onwards. Clothing made overseas in the 80s and early 90s tended to come from Korea, Taiwan, Eastern Europe and Hong Kong, as well as Singapore, Malaysia, Thailand, the Philippines, and India in the latter 90s.

I hope this gives you a starting base to give thrifting vintage a try. Share your tips and fave brands in the comments!