Cast your mind back three years ago. Like many (most?) others, I was trying to fill my pandemic lockdown schedule with “keep busy” projects; one of the most dubious was probably at-home haircuts. First, I gave myself bangs. Then, not put off by the unimpressive results of that effort, I decided to ask my husband to cut my hair. My husband, bless him, is a man who tries to please me and who is also generally optimistic. The foolishness of my request wasn’t immediately apparent to him – I wanted a blunt, short bob, “just cut it straight across, babe”, what could go wrong – but it became painfully obvious 5 minutes in. I have fine hair … but a LOT of it. An hour and a half later, we called it a day – not because my haircut was truly finished (or even) but because my husband’s nerves gave in.

It was … fine. I mean, nobody was going anywhere or seeing anyone, so it was fine. But, almost immediately, I began to regret cutting it and decided that I wanted to grow it out. All the way. This was not exactly out of character. I’ve always been the person who changed her hairstyle every year or two. What was different this time was that … I just kept growing it. In the past, I’ve usually swung from pixie cut to shoulder-length bob and back again. The last time I had hair that went past my shoulders was 2015 or so (and 2006 before that). As soon as my hair starts kissing my shoulders, I get the itch to cut it. This time, it was different. By Christmas 2020, my hair was nearing shoulder-length and I felt … nothing. No haircut itch. A lot of that had to do with the pandemic; I was burnt out (weren’t we all) and in the middle of another lockdown, there was no opportunity to try to find a new hairstylist even if I wanted to. And so, I kept going and growing. And growing and going. By November 2021, my hair went past my shoulders and was long enough to allow me to try a middle part, which was A Thing that The Youths were doing at the time. I got a few compliments on it and that was apparently enough for me to DOUBLE DOWN again.

Fast forward to now. My hair is well past boob-length (which had been my goal at one time) and inching closer to the small of my back (a new goal?). I sometimes look at photos from my “cute bob” years and I love the look … but, still, I feel no desire to get the chop. I am way overdue for a trim, but laziness (and a lack of split ends) is conspiring against me even on that front. “I really need to do something about a trim” is something I tell myself every month. And every month, my hair gets longer.

Ok, but enough about my hair growing journey; this post isn’t about that. Hah! Sorry! Are you still reading?

Here’s what I wanted to say: hair is one of the most overlooked and underrated elements of personal style. Maybe that’s just me overlooking and underrating, though. I’ve always thought of hair as a key factor in the context of “personal appearance” but never in connection with what I wear. Recently, it struck me how well my current hairstyle complements what I enjoy wearing these days – which is quite different than, say, 3-4 years ago – and I was struck by a chicken-and-egg question.

Have I been growing out my hair because (subconsciously) I wanted it to line up with the vision of my current style? Or has my current style evolved in a certain direction aligned with the evolution of my hairstyle? Honestly … I don’t know. A bit of both, perhaps. When I started to grow out my hair, my love affair with Ralph Lauren – the prairie and the preppy – was still a long way in the future. Certainly now, however, I am less inclined to consider changing up the hair because it does suit my current aesthetic so well.

I think it helps to see some visual evidence, because that’s what got me thinking about this. Let’s start with Asymmetrical Pixie Cut Adina. Most of my outfit photos from that era unfortunately don’t show my face, but these are pretty representative.

And here is Mermaid Hair Adina:

Quite different, eh? Here’s another example, this one from my Short Blunt Bob era. Can you imagine this outfit with long hair?

Or this one with a short, blunt bob?

It just wouldn’t have the same impact.

Becoming conscious of the impact of my hairstyle feels like unlocking another tool in my outfit-building toolbox, which is nice. There are ways that I can style my long hair to either accentuate its “boho” vibe (those mermaid waves, for example) or to make it a little more “edgy” (a funky ponytail). But even my most edgy outfits these days hit different than in the past — there is a softer, more romantic, less architectural side to them. Which, in my current era, I’m perfectly happy with.

Details: Club Monaco shirt, Kenzo x H&M skirt, Ralph Lauren blazer (all thrifted)

Thoughts: I don’t love short skirts with bare legs on me, but this outfit is A+ otherwise. I think the patterned shirt keeps it from being too “classic preppy” and gives it a nice twist. A busy pattern right against another pattern might seem like a lot, but the consistent colour palette ties it together in a way that doesn’t make the outfit look too busy.

Details: Charlie Holiday dress, Denim & Supply jacket (both thrifted), Zara shoes (retail), Rafael Alfandary necklace (eBay)

Thoughts: This dress has become, in no time at all, my fallback summer outfit. When in doubt, I pop it on, add a topper and/or some accessories — preferably something chunky like one of my Rafael pieces — and I’m set. It’s cool, it’s comfy, it looks casual or dressy depending on the surroundings. Now if I could only find it in white … ahhhhhhh.

Details: Anna Sui top, Tabitha jacket, Cotton Ginny belt (all thrifted), Lucca Couture skirt (Poshmark)

Thoughts: This outfit had an Edwardian vibe to it for me — blame the lace — but also feels very summery. It’s perfect for lounging on a shaded patio with a cold drink and a nice book. Sadly, I had to work that day instead. The inspiration was one of Ralph Lauren’s summer collections (I forget the year) when he did a lot of lacy and beaded dresses in white, paired with southwestern accessories. This was my take using pieces from my closet.

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, Max & Co skirt, Banana Republic necklace (all thrifted)

Thoughts: I love doing the wrap-tuck as an alternative to wearing button-up shirts, well, buttoned up. The key is to get a way oversized shirt (men’s works in a pinch) so there is lots of extra fabric for the wrap part. I pair this with a high-waisted bottom to make the tuck part easier. It’s such a cool, breezy way to wear a classic shirt in the summer. A big necklace or scarf tucked inside the collar is a nice touch too.

I can’t believe it’s already June, and at the same time, I feel like 2023 has been 3 years long already. To say that it’s progressed at full-tilt and packed a wallop is an understatement. Summer snuck up on me this year but I’m now ready to embrace it. Before I start to tell you about what things I’m most excited to start wearing again and what I’ve learned from them, let’s just get one thing cleared up first.

I am not – and, let’s face it, have never been – Hot Girl Summer.

My lifestyle icon remains, above all, Jessica Fletcher. My summer is about puttering around the house and garden, thrifting and antiquing, doing needle crafts, reading, writing, and solving cozy mysteries in my quaint Maine village (I wish!).

I think it’s important to be very clear and realistic about your priorities, because there will always be articles and social media dangling tantalizing prospects of different “yous” that you might be, and you need to recognize them for the traps they are or else end up with a bunch of things in your closet that will mock you with their unsuitability forever.

Gen Z TikTok: not today, Satan.

Ok, look, I don’t want to sound like the old fogey that I am. There is a fine but very important balance between being open to new ideas and knowing which ones serve your needs and which don’t. I’m not ALL about saying “no” but I am also enthusiastic about saying “no” when it’s needed.

Before I engage with any consumerist propaganda about the “it pieces” for summer 2023, it’s important to do a little self-reflection first about what things (a) I wore a lot and enjoyed a lot last summer, and (b) am excited to wear again this summer. This exercise serves a couple of purposes. One, it helps me to focus on my actual needs and lifestyle and reinforce in my own mind what the key pillars of my summer wardrobe are. This, in turn, gives me a framework for evaluating any potential new additions to my summer wardrobe.

Let’s break this down by category.

Shoes

My favourite (and most worn) shoes last year were, in no particular order:

… Birkenstocks, Old Navy flat sandals, Fluevog gladiator-style sandals, and Barbara Barbieri grommet sandals.

These shoes cover the gamut of my various aesthetics and, most importantly, meet my comfort requirements. I have no patience for uncomfortable shoes – that means high heels, straps that dig in, etc. Looking at this list, I realize that I don’t really need or want any new shoes, unless we are talking about a pair of big buckle Arizonas in black (one of the early “it” shoes of the year, and still sold out most places) and/or a pair of vintage kitten heel mules, preferably Manolo Blahnik. I don’t need another pair of Birkenstocks but it’s a trendy shoe that happens to be fully in alignment with my (life)style, so if a cheap pair falls onto my path, I am not going to say no. As for the Manolos, it’s something I have been wanting for a while, as they would be perfect for the 90s-influenced outfits I’ve been enjoying lately. I think I would prefer a closed-toe version (more of an all-season item) but I am open to something strappy provided it’s comfortable.

Toppers

Other than vests, my favourite toppers for summer are my Prairie Trail Goods patchwork jackets:

These are lightweight and, because they skim the body and have puffy sleeves, are quite breezy. I can wear them on relatively hot days and not get sweaty. I like wearing some sort of topper to cut down on the amount of sunscreen that I have to wear, and to “dress up” some of my plainer summer dresses. Cropped jackets like this help to give definition to sack-like dresses (which I adore) and work well with high-waisted pants, jeans and skirts.

For summer toppers, I don’t want anything too tight or structured on the body. No delicate or “sweaty” fabrics (cotton and linen are best). And oversized fits are “tread carefully” territory for me – they don’t tend to work well with the romantic/prairie aesthetic I like, so unless I have a clear plan for the item, no impulse buys allowed.

Dresses

I love summer dresses with length, volume, and swish:

I know exactly which dress I want to add to my wardrobe this summer, and it’s a white version of the black dress in the photo above. I’ve also realized that I prefer summer dresses that are sleeveless; I know that puffy sleeved cottagecore dresses are still quite popular and, while they do fall within my aesthetic wheelhouse, I’m personally not a fan. I can’t double up on sleeves if I’m wearing a topper (see above) because I hate the feeling of bunchiness.

Slip dresses are mostly a “no” for me; the fabrics they tend to use are wrong for me – too clingy, too staticky, too “sweaty”.  Short dresses are also out; I only enjoy wearing short hemlines with opaque tights, which is obviously not an option in the summer.

Pants

For the past few years, I have one pair of jeans and one pair of pants that I wear on repeat in the summer:

I’ve talked ad nauseam about my search for a pair of wide-leg palazzo jeans, so I won’t bore you with that again. As much as my IG newsfeed is currently awash in wide-leg, full length pants (in beige or khaki) paired with sneakers, I decline to participate. I don’t like how those pants break at the feet, and I know my short inseam will only exacerbate that problem.

Accessories

My must-have accessory for summer, every summer, is a straw fedora-style hat:

I need a hat to protect my face (and ears!) from the sun, and through trial and error, I’ve found this style best suits my head/face shape and is the most versatile for the outfits I wear. I will not be tempted by any other kind of hat, because I know I am only going to default to this one regardless of anything else I buy.

As far as bags go, I have 2 modes:

… ludicrously capacious (non-luxury) tote or tiny crossbody. Most days, it’s the latter. I just don’t like to feel weighed down, or have my hands occupied. The key to using small bags is having a minimalist wallet and stashing a Baggu foldable tote in case of any purchases. I haven’t been interested in designer bags for years now, but I am very keen on Coach bags again – either the vintage leather ones or some of the recent art collabs (like the Basquiat one). Something classic or something playful, but small and not too heavy.

After going through this exercise, I found myself backing off a bunch of items that I had been tentatively eyeing online. Although cute, they don’t align with my needs and preferences. I’ve also refined my list of pieces to look for going forward; I’m focusing on the must-have elements and the absolutely-not ones, rather than specific items, because this allows me latitude to remain open to “surprise” options while keeping me on track to avoid bad buys. So I’m calling this a success!