The Proust Questionnaire

As I threatened promised last week, here is my Proust questionnaire. The questions that Vanity Fair uses appear to vary from issue to issue, so I picked a bunch that seemed the most interesting.

Oh, and here’s a photo of the man himself:

I lied. That’s not Proust at all. Are you mad? Didn’t think so.

Onwards!

What is your idea of perfect happiness: Reading a favourite book, curled up on the couch in my library on a rainy day, with the kids playing (nicely! together!) nearby. While getting a foot rub from my husband. Hey, this doesn’t have to be their idea of perfect happiness, ok?

What is your greatest fear: Failure.

Which historical figure do you most identify with: Elizabeth I, minus the daddy issues.

Which living person do you admire most: Malala Yousafzai

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself: Ego

What do you consider the most overrated virtue: Humility. Just kidding. Honesty – way too often, people use it as an excuse to be assholes.

What is your favourite journey: Life. Hey, I like to wax poetical sometimes.

On what occasion do you lie: When faced with strangers’ babies and other pet projects.

What do you dislike the most about your appearance: My nose. It has some good angles, and some “holy crap, is that the same person?” angles.

Which living person do you most despise: Anyone who takes pleasure in hurting another creature, big or small. Except spiders. Now, to be clear, I’m not advocating that people should enjoy killing spiders – they just have to do it, and quickly, preferably with fire.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse: Inter alia

What is your greatest regret: Not learning more languages as a child.

When and where were you happiest: Whenever and wherever it was, I didn’t realize it until later. At some point in time, this may be the happiest I’ve ever been.

Which talent would you most like to have: To sing like Adele. Every cool talent I would have picked when I was younger (reading minds; seeing the future; time traveling) has way too many downsides.

What is your current state of mind: Anxious. Where are the correct answers for this quiz?

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be: I would be more patient. And two inches taller. Dammit! Well, patience is overrated anyway.

What do you consider your greatest achievement: Surviving the following (in chronological order): the first semester of law school, the first year of motherhood, and the writing of my first book.

If you could choose what to come back as, what would it be: A brilliant, good-looking, funny, much-loved billionaire. If I can choose, I’m going to go for the top, you know? With that said, the reality is that I would probably actually come back as a cockroach. I hate cockroaches *shudder*

What is your most treasured possession: My kids. They’re mine till they turn 18, yes?

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery: Oh God, this answer is sending me into an existentialist tail-spin. Let’s just go with the superficial answer: being stuck in traffic on the way home from work, listening to the same Katy Perry song on repeat, on a hot day, with no air conditioning, while hangry – forever.

What is your favourite occupation: Spa reviewer.

What is the quality you most like in a man: Kindness and fairness.

What is the quality you most like in a woman: Why is this a separate question?

What do you most value in your friends: Loyalty.

Who is your favourite hero(ine) of fiction: Elizabeth Bennett and Jon Snow.

Who are your heroes in real life: My parents.

What is it that you most dislike: Rudeness. It’s an epidemic.

How would you like to die: Feeling that I lived a fulfilled life.

What is your motto: Everyone has a plan, until they get punched in the face (borrowed from Mike Tyson)