I would love to report something fun and exciting, but this week was the exact opposite of that. My kids’ flu finally caught up to me and it was my turn to be utterly miserable. I’ve been lucky over the past two years to dodge most of their bugs, but that also means that I’ve lost my tolerance (lol!) for being sick. So, now I’m just a big, whiny baby when I don’t feel well. Fun!
I somehow managed to drag myself through an almost-full week of work, but I had no energy left for anything else. The amount of guilt I’ve been feeling over missing the self-set goals I had for the week – everything from exercise to writing to reading – is honestly kinda pathological. Productivity mindset is a modern scourge, I tell you! I thought I had made progress in terms of letting go of the idea that I have to be productive all of the time, and that rest is something I have to earn, but weeks like these serve as a reminder that the indoctrination goes deep and I’ve still got a long way to go towards a healthier mindset.
I’ve also been having another spiral of self-doubt as a writer – being sick does a number of my mental health in every way, it seems – and it was my poor editor who got the short of that stick this week. We had a Zoom call to talk about her editorial feedback on my next book, which got slightly derailed when my insecurities reared their heads and she got stuck having to reassure me that my writing is not, in fact, a ‘steaming pile of sh*t’. (LOL. I may have been a little loopy with cold & flu meds on top of everything else.) Don’t worry, we got things back on track and had a very productive (yikes, that word again) meeting that left me with clarity on what I need to do to push the book over the finish line.
It also gave me a new insight into the overarching theme of the book, which is, basically, a woman getting her groove back and winning all the prizes. Definitely not Booker prize territory, haha! But we all sometimes need a story where everything works out just perfectly.
Full disclosure: sales of Murder Takes a Holiday have been slow, which is a bummer, and on top of that I’ve been having some issues with my Kindle Unlimited reads, which have been stressing me out. But the first review and ratings have started coming in, and they’ve been very positive! If my books can make a difference for even a handful of readers – entertain them, cheer them up, bring a little lightness and joy in their lives – then it’s all worth it.
One of the rare highlights of the week was getting in some extra cuddle time with my daughter (who was also sick) after I finally convinced her to start watching Midsomer Murders reruns with me. I think she’s hooked! She’s a mystery-loving girlie, like me, but is picky about her preferred vibes. Sadly, Poirot didn’t do it for her; I think she prefers contemporary settings. She’s definitely a fan of the inventive ways people murder each other in Midsomer – we keep a running commentary of who’s going to die next in each episode and how. Honestly? She might be better than me at guessing the murderer, haha!
Have a great weekend!