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I Make Things: New Year, New Beginnings

I originally wrote this post before my impromptu sabbatical, and the title was less on-the-nose at the time. But, what the hell, let’s go with it! There have been lots of beginnings this year. The biggest news — on the creative front, especially — has been the fact that I wrote a book. Well, to be precise, I wrote something I hoped, one day, might become a book that other people might read. It was an incredibly consuming but also fulfilling project … until I ran into a full-on crisis of faith, not just over the quality and merit of my writing, but of my ideas. I want to be clear here: I think I’m pretty smart, and I think my ideas are pretty good. But not every good idea is so unique or so interesting or so valuable that it NEEDS to be part of a public discourse. Having to make a decision about what to do with my writing — pursue the book path, or keep it personal — forced me to confront the question: what do I bring to the public discourse, and does it need to be there? And, honestly? I don’t know.

I wasn’t going to start writing the blog again until I had the answer sorted out in my own mind, because what’s the point of doing something in blog-form if it’s not worth doing in book-form. I haven’t got the answer yet, but here I am. I just missed writing … which means, I guess, that as much as I’ve always felt that writing (unlike my other creative outlets) needs an audience, it’s something I also do for myself. I’m figuring out what that means when it comes to this blog, but in the meantime, I’m back. More or less.

But, for now, let’s talk about other creative business.

At the beginning of the year, writing took up most of my free time, so I did little embroidery for a few months; more recently, my pace has picked up again. Later this month, I will even be doing a small art market! It will be a nice little diversion, although my focus lately isn’t really on selling, but rather making pieces that feel joyous to work on. Lots of colour, of course. Lots of flowers. A little bit of whimsy.

Here is what I have been working on in 2024:

I did a bird of paradise hoop a couple of years ago, and wanted to revisit the theme as part of a current floral still-life series I’m developing. I love how this one turned out!

Speaking of that series, here is another one featuring one of my favourite flowers to embroider — pansies. A friend ended up getting this hoop, and I rather miss it, so I may do a different version soon for myself. Honestly, I could embroider pansies all the time — they are so colourful and fun.

This hoop was inspired by a quilt I thrifted a while back. Hollyhocks remind me so much of my childhood, it was lovely to bring this design to life. I usually work with a broader colour palette, so this was an exercise in restraint for me.

My best friend has been asking me for a black cat hoop for YEARS, and I finally made it! I actually had the design ready for more than a year, but somehow it never felt like the right time to embroider it … until now. It’s inspired by a Klimt painting, of course.

This is another design I’d drawn a while back and decided it was time to bring it to life, as I wanted something small and (relatively) quick to complete in between marathon writing sessions back in February. I enjoy this more realistic take on a pansy as much as the fun, pop-art-y ones. It does take a lot more time, though, haha!

You knew it was only a matter of time before I went back to another favourite flower for my still life series. Yes, irises inspired by Van Gogh. I took a risk with the dark background, but I think that paid off once I added the white outlining. This hoop was a keeper for my personal collection (for the time being anyway).

My daughter is obsessed with frogs at the moment, and I rather enjoyed making a frog prince last year, so I went back to the drawing board and drew up a queen. As always with these mixed media “portraits”, the clothing and embellishments took the longest to make — having no sewing skills to begin with, making these 2D outfits is a real challenge for me. But I love how it turned out … and so did my daughter. And I love that for us 🙂

What I Wore: March 2024, part one

Details: Club Monaco turtleneck (retail, old), Ralph Lauren sweater (eBay), J. Crew blazer (retail, old), Fossil belt (thrifted), Banana Republic pants (retail), Coach bag (Poshmark)

Thoughts: This shade of brown is one of my faves … wait, did I just say “one”? Does that imply I have more than one favourite shade of brown? Who am I????? It’s true, though. I’ve been afraid of brown — well, not afraid exactly, more like uninterested — my whole life, but it turns out that it’s actually a beautiful colour. Or colours, rather. This shade is at the intersection of brown and burgundy, and I love its richness. There is some of it in the blazer as well, which really helps to tie this all together. A simple but extremely satisfying outfit.

Details: Gap shirt, Ralph Lauren vest, Zara blazer, Esprit belt (all thrifted), Ralph Lauren skirt (eBay)

Thoughts: This is a Historian/Trailblazer mash-up, and I love it. Papa Ralph does pattern mixing really well,, and also juxtaposition, and that was my aim here as well. The trickiest part was choosing the right fair isle vest, and I made my decision based on the colour palette (of course). There is a bit of brown in the vest, and I thought the cool grey would go well with the greyish blue of the skirt. I think the brown belt with patinaed silver buckle was also the right choice here, to bring the vest and skirt together.

Details: Liz Claiborne sweater, Roolee dress, Gap blazer (all thrifted)

Thoughts: As much as I’m becoming a brown-loving girlie, there will always be a soft spot for black & white outfits in my heart. I don’t think black flatters me as much as brown does (especially worn close to the face without other, brighter colours to balance it out), but I find that paired with white, it doesn’t end up looking so severe and “draining”. Basically, I don’t look as much like Casper the ghost, compared to when I wear all black. And y’all know how I feel about mixing different b&w patterns — no wrong options, ever.

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, BR belt, Urban Outfitters skirt (all thrifted)

Thoughts: Guyssssss! I’m obsessed with this outfit. This is why I NEEDED a white men’s shirt in my life. The fit. The slightly turned up collar. It feels so … cool. A white shirt paired with a full, long skirt — and a statement belt! — has been on my mind, as an outfit formula, for months now and I’m so excited that I can finally make it happen. I could not resist thrifting this skirt because (a) plaid, (b) tiers, (c) volume! I don’t love the polyester fabric, but I guess I can’t win them all. The waist is stretchy, which is nice. Because I had to wear the skirt higher on my waist, so the belt would cinch at my narrowest point (to emphasize the volume on the bottom), I decided to add a petticoat to extend the length of the skirt. The top-and-tail effect of the white was a nice added bonus.

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, Gap belt, Jeanne Pierre sweater (all thrifted), Banana Republic pants (retail)

Thoughts: I broke my no-retail streak recently, but I think you will understand why. You know the BR corduroy wide leg trousers I bought in Dec 2022? Yes, you do — they’re in the first outfit above. I LOVE them, and my biggest regret ever since buying them has been not getting the camel brown version at the same time. I’ve been looking for it on Poshmark, but they’ve never popped up in my size. So what’s going on here? Well, I went to Winners recently to look for something for my daughter, and as I was walking out, I saw this pair of pants on the clearance rack. I recognized them immediately, in disbelief. Yes, it’s the BR corduroy wide leg trousers in camel brown. In my size!! The only pair. In my size!! And you won’t believe how much I paid for them: $12. Why? How? How did a pair of BR pants from more than a year ago end up at Winners? The biggest mystery. I am so happy they did. The only drawback is that this is the regular length, not the petite, so it’s longer than I would like it to be. I need very high heels to wear it as-is, which isn’t super versatile for me. I am planning to get them hemmed to the same length as my other pair. I can’t wait to wear them again!

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, Wilfred vest, H&M pants, Joseph belt (all thrifted)

Thoughts: I told you last week that this red vest was making things happen in my closet, and here is more proof. I love both versions of this outfit, with and without the blazer.

Mindful Consumption: Thoughts on the Process

At the beginning of the year, I wrote about my goal of shopping more mindfully and intentionally going forward. As I’ve been working on it, and working through my thoughts on consumption and consumer culture more general as I write my book (more on that later), my perspective has been evolving — and my approach along with it. I wanted to document that process here, as I think it’s a useful companion piece to my shopping- and style-oriented posts. Most of the time, on social media and elsewhere, we are presented with the results of consumption without any context, divorced from its real-life implications, personal or societal. And I think context is important when we are trying to align our actions with our values.

My original focus had been to make more intentional decisions about my clothes shopping, but that has been expanded significantly. The more I started to pay attention to what (clothes) I was buying and thinking about why I wanted or didn’t want to buy them, the more I realized it was a broader issue. I want to be more intentional about all of my consumption, not just clothing. There are certain questions I now try to ask myself every time I am considering a non-essential, discretionary purchase. I say “try to” because this level of mindfulness represents a new habit — one that very much goes against our socio-cultural conditioning in a capitalist society — and new habits take time to root. It’s easy to just follow old patterns of behaviour without even realizing it. So part of the process involves trying different means of disrupting the old patterns and reinforcing the new ones. I’ll talk about a couple of these approaches I’m trying out below, but here are the questions I’ve found helpful in guiding my reflection on purchases.

1) What value does this item bring to my life?

2) How does this item align with my vision of what my best life looks like?

3) Am I willing to take responsibility for this item?

The third question is one I have been thinking about a lot lately. As I’ve been working on my book, I’ve been reflecting not only on how I engage with consumer culture in the context of my interest in fashion, but also (more broadly) on my relationship with material things. I have come to believe that capitalism has fundamentally and detrimentally impacted the way we relate to material things, i.e. the things we buy and consume. This is especially true with clothing. Clothing has become so cheap and so poorly made which leads people to view it as disposable. If something is disposable, we are not inclined to be mindful about it — either in the way we buy it, or the way we consume it, or the way we dispose of it. To different extents, depending on a variety of factors including price and societal messaging, I think the same mentality applies to all consumer goods.

Overproduction of cheap goods is an enormous burden on our planet; cheap goods take a huge amount of resources to produce, and also to dispose. To manufacture a pair of jeans, it take take up to 7,000 liters of water and produce about 20.04 kg of CO2 (the equivalent of driving about 42 miles in your car) — not to mention the human labour involved. Then there are the resources required to get those jeans from the factory to the customer. (Lots of carbon emissions involved there.) And on the back end? What’s the impact of a pair of jeans — one of millions — in the landfill? Now multiply that across not just the fashion industry but other sectors of retail. Think, for example, of all that plastic seasonal décor that gluts stores several times a year. How much of that is used just once, then tossed? How much of that is truly recycled or reused? Sure, some of it can be kept in circulation via thrift stores, but how much? Or how little, rather. When new goods are so cheap and accessible, most people aren’t motivated to go to a thrift store for their, say, Easter decoration needs.

I think this mentality can be changed, but it requires us to look at things differently — and not through capitalism’s preferred lens. What if I told you: if you buy this pair of jeans, you are now responsible for it. Responsible to the the person who made it, while breathing in a bunch of toxic chemicals working upwards of 12 hours a day and making less than a living wage. Responsible to the planet and everyone else who lives here. Responsible to take care of those jeans while they are in your possession, and also responsible for a disposal plan (should you no longer wish to own them) that minimizes environmental impacts. Wouldn’t that give you pause?

It’s a huge burden — at least, it feels that way to me. It really does make me think very, very hard about what I’m buying. For a start, it really helps me to focus and be very honest with myself about the value proposition. How much value does this non-essential item bring to my life and is that worth the responsibility? Quality becomes much more important. Why would I invest so much time and energy (to meet my obligations as a responsible owner) in an item that’s crappy quality? It’s so much harder to ensure that the item has a future after me, if it’s crappy — why would anyone else want a crappy secondhand item? When it comes to clothes, in particular, this is a very important consideration. “If I don’t like it, I’ll just donate it” is not a viable disposal plan unless there is a reasonable prospect that someone else will want to buy it. So, basically, thrift stores cannot be our answer to Shein clothing.

I want to be clear here that my perspective is very much geared towards discretionary consumption within an affluent (or relatively so) demographic. I believe our responsibilities as consumers are in proportion to our degree of privilege and power.

One thing I’ve started to do, as part of my efforts to entrench these questions and this framework of consumption into my daily life, is to track what I call “no spend” days. Basically, I keep track of days when I make no purchases that represent discretionary consumption. In this context, “consumption” is mostly concerned with material objects, but can also include some types of services, like beauty treatments. My goal with this exercise isn’t to track spending from the financial side; it’s to prompt me to take notice of when I am making decisions that involve consumption, so that I can make sure to ask myself the necessary questions. I am not including what I would deem “essential” consumption — food, utilities, home maintenance costs, insurance, etc. — because, well, existing in the world makes some level of consumption unavoidable, and I feel like the best focus for my attention is on the “extra” stuff.

I have no specific targets for my no-spend days, though I do like having uninterrupted streaks — my longest so far being 5 days. I don’t want to “gamify” this process too much because I feel that would result in redirecting the focus away from what I am concerned with. It’s not about how much I spend or when I spend or even if I spend. It’s about making sure that if and when I spend, it’s mindful and intentional. Let me put it this way: if I only had one “spend” day a month, and it involved a dozen mindless purchases, that wouldn’t be a win in my book.

Another exercise I started doing was keeping a running list of items I was tempted to buy but didn’t. I’ve been doing this a lot, in particular, with Poshmark listings. I still regularly check the app, as I am looking for very specific things and want to make sure I’m in the right place at the right time if the ideal listing pops up. But in doing so, I inevitably come across other items that appeal to me. I add them to my “liked” list so I can keep track of them, but I try to wait at least a few days before I make any buying decisions, to give myself enough time to reflect on my questions. Often, items sell during that time; or I eventually decide than I don’t really need/want them. At that point, I put them on my “didn’t buy” list. It’s something I can look back on later, whenever I need a reminder that some desires are, in fact, momentary. It also helps me to keep track of prices on items that I’m still interested in (but haven’t yet committed to buying). I’ve been doing this with vintage Coach bags, in particular; I am looking for certain specific ones, but I will keep track of similar bags I find and don’t buy online, and jot down the prices at which they sold. It’s a good way of staying on top of the market, which helps me to assess the prices of future listings.

I’ve only been actively doing these exercise for a little over a month now, but I can confidently say that they’re helping me to change my habits, little by little. I know there is a lot to unpack here, and a lot more that I am still working my way through in my own mind, but I hope you will find some of it useful or interesting in the context of your own experiences.

And, yes, I am writing a book. It will be a memoir about my search for identity and the role of fashion/personal style in that process. But also about so much more — consider this post a little taste of that. I am now wrapping up my first round of edits, and hope to have a fully revised draft in the next couple of months. Beyond that, I don’t know what, if anything, will happen. It feels too overwhelming — and counter-productive to my creative process — to think about how (or if) I want to put my writing out into the world. I’ll keep you posted on that 😉