Before we get to, what else, last week’s episode of Game of Thrones, let me just quickly mention the other stuff I’ve been watching lately, which also happens to be the reason why I haven’t had time to read anything. Misfits, baby. Yes, I am almost a decade late to the party, but man, I am glad I have finally found it! I have binge-watched the first 3 seasons — and some episodes more than once — in a little less than 2 weeks, and I am OBSESSED with it. And the soundtrack is so, so good. Once GoT is over, I will probably devote an entire post to trying to convince you to watch the show, if you haven’t already. Fair warning, friends.
One more thing … if, like me, you unabashedly love the song of the summer, Despacito (or even if, on the contrary, you hate it), check out this Vulture article that takes a truly in-depth look at the elements that have contributed to its mad success. I am a philistine when it comes to music theory, but I found this analysis fascinating. Also, as someone who loves Latin music, let me just say that I hope the success of Despacito means that more Spanish-language artists are going to end up on my local radio.
Alright, Games of Thrones. Season 7, episode 6.
INCOMING SPOILERS …
… ALSO, INCOMING RANT WARNING.
The more I think/brood about last week’s episode of GoT, the angrier I get. Let me start off by saying that this rant doesn’t come from a “books are better” place. I love the books, but I have also very much enjoyed the show since it has veered off from the books. But two things. One, I hate when characters act in incredibly stupid ways solely for purposes of advancing a (dubious) plot. Two, I also kinda hate where we’ve suddenly ended up, plot-wise, and where we are being set up to go. It feels a bit like a betrayal of promises made in the books — the ethos of the story more so than the narrative. This must be what being a fanboi feels like; I’ve never been really invested in a fictional world before, so it’s a first for me. And yes, I know how ridiculous this all sounds.
What does it all have to do with the death of the dragon Viserion? Well, it comes back to that whole “dragon has 3 heads” prophecy in the book. Most of us book readers have theories about what that means, but the loose consensus has always centered around the epic prospect of 3 dragon-riders. With one dragon gone, that theory has been shot to hell. Worse, the new alternative, which that really questionable scene at the end of episode 6 seems to be setting up, is just … ugh. Are Dany and Jon, the two Targaryens left standing, possibly going to, um, create the third “head of the dragon”? Because that “but think of the children” foreshadowing sledgehammer sure seem to hit both of them over the head this episode (via Tyrion and Jorah, respectively). I’m starting to think that the show will not be content in shoving Dany and Jon’s relationship down our throats — total lack of any apparent chemistry notwithstanding, I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT TYRION! — without a whole “and baby makes three” twist.
But why do you care, Adina, you may ask. I will point you back to my personal pet theory, namely that Jon is a kinda of Messiah figure. It all fits: humble beginnings, secret august heritage, noble/pure heart, self-sacrificing, etc. Characters like that don’t get to have happy endings; they die so others can have happy endings. Damn, Beric even told Jon as much (foreshadowing sledgehammer strikes again). So unless the show wants to turn into a complete travesty, Dany, Jon and their Targ incest baby will not live happily ever after. But if Jon dies, does the show have the balls to do anything other than put Dany and her progeny on the Iron Throne? I really doubt it. Which makes for a really boring ending when you think about it. Because of course it would be Dany at the end, and 8 seasons’ worth of political machinations will have been for nought.
Now, if the show actually kills all 3 Targaryens before all is said and done (perhaps as fulfillment of another Lord of Light/Azor Ahai myth from the books), then I take all of this back. I just don’t think it will happen.
As an aside, if the Targaryens are out of contention, who do I think should end up on the Iron Throne? I’m still partial to Sansa, and I’m starting to think that this is where Gendry might become useful as something other than a crappy plot device. He is, after all, the last of the Baratheons — bastard, but still. Yeah, I know he had a connection with Arya, but Arya is currently being a brat and I don’t care. A Stark/Baratheon union, finally? With no Targaryen Romeo to swoop in and scupper the plan, why not?
A few other grumbles:
– But seriously, Emilia Clarke and Kit Harington have zero — ZERO!! — chemistry. I feel like I’m losing my marbles every time the show tries to convince me otherwise.
– Let me reiterate what I’ve already said last week: that capture-a-wight plan was the epitome of stupidity. It required not one but two deus ex machina devices to fix its sheer stupidity.
– In the same vein, while I haven’t minded some of the plot-servicing teleportation that’s been going on this season, it seemed really out of control this episode. It’s almost as if the writers had read the Reddit complaints, and said “oh yeah? hold my beer, boo!”
– Poor Benjen. Forever saving his dumb-ass nephews from the consequences of their poorly thought-out plans.
– Poor Gendry. First with the rowing, now with the running. The boy can’t catch a break.
– WTF are Arya and Sansa doing? Where is Bran? I have no idea, and I’m starting to root for Littlefinger again at this point.
– I want a Three’s Company remake featuring Tormund, Brienne, and the Hound roaming the backroads of Westeros. Podrick can babysit all those giant, ginger babies.
– WHY DIDN’T DANY TAKE OUT THE NIGHT KING WITH FIRE?? WHY DIDN’T THE NIGHT KING TAKE OUT DROGON?? WHERE THE HELL DID THEY COME UP WITH THOSE GIANT FREAKING CHAINS?? WHEN DID WIGHTS LEARN HOW TO DEEP DIVE? Listen, I get that an ice zombie dragon is really cool or whatever, but surely there had to have been a less ridiculous way to make that happen.
OK, I’m done. I hate to say this, but I think I’m ready for GoT to go on hiatus. I need a break to forget the increasing ridiculousness of this season. Buuuut, you know where I’ll be come Sunday. So join me in bitching about Episode 6 in the comments, then come back next week for the final wrap-up.
Jon would never have sent an SOS to Dany like that; he would have gone down with his crew. That felt really wrong to me. Also, though it feels silly to quibble with realism in a world with magic and dragons, there is no way that ravens and dragons could fly fast enough to make that rescue happen. The accumulation of stuff like that made the episode seem too contrived. Still fun to watch though.
Yeah, I kinda see that re Jon’s character. That’s why that whole plot was dumb; Jon has to stay alive so they contorted themselves to make it happen. It would have been better had Dany just decided to fly up there on a hunch or something.
Hi. I love this and I have all the same feelings. Especially about Tormund, Brienne and the Hound. Giant monster babies. For me that was the best part of the episode. Love your blog!
Tormund and the Hound has the best dialogue. Who knew this was what we all needed, haha
Thank you! I’m so angry and my hair stylist was saying how great the episode was and I was switching up my normal cut and suddenly I wondered if I’d put myself in the wrong hands (spoiler: I didn’t, hair is lovely!). The producers and writers seemed to be focused more on what looks cool over what makes sense or what’s in character or anything logical.
And unless Sansa and Arya are planning things we can’t see yet, I hope Littlefinger lets them destroy each other.
Hahaha! thats too funny. I’m glad the haircut turned out nicely. I think LF is done for, but I still hate how they are getting there with Arya and Sansa. So dumb!
I agree, the whole Jon/Dany story line makes no sense. There is zero chemistry up until episode six and now they’re lovey dovey and holding hands?! And Jon is bending his knee to call her queen? Where did that come from? Huh?!
Also, if It was that easy for Dany to fly north and see the white walkers and she was willing, why did they even need to go catch one? (Yes, I know, they wanted to convince Cercei too, but also…)
Why doesn’t she use her dragons to burn all the white walkers and their army? Then the war with them is over isn’t it?
Also, I have not seen this is sentiment anywhere, but I find Sansa annoying. Is it just me?
And yes, despite all this, I’ll be watching Sunday. Thanks for the opportunity to let us rant as well!
I go back and forth on Sansa. I find the actress gives a very standoffish vibe (IRL) which translates well to the character given who she is and what she’s been through, but somehow that makes it hard for me to warm up to her for some reason. I worry that it’s an unfair reaction on my part, so I try to consciously overcome it. Personal feelings aside, I think Sansa has learned a lot in the last few seasons, and I think she would be a decent ruler given who we have left in the game. Sansa with Davos as her Hand? I think the people of Westeros could do a lot worse.
Yes! Yes! The chains especially. Where did they go, Home Depot Beyond the Wall? Still committed, but the story has gone off the rails, as you said, to create big cinematic moments.
The chains made me so mad, you have no idea. I was willing to swallow a lot of nonsense, but when I saw that I was, like, nope I’m out. Stupid plot contrivance!