It’s Friday, so you know the drill. This week’s edition of Random Musings, in lieu of anything vaguely book-related, is inspired by the Greatest Love of 2018 (So Far): Ariana Grande and Pete Davidson.

One

There have been a lot of think pieces in a very short time about BDE – what it is, who has it, who doesn’t. I’m down with this assessment of the Four Chrises; it’s gonna take me a while to digest the longer list here. (I most definitely do NOT have BDE — according to Buzzfeed, I’m at 50%, and that might as well be zero in this context.) But I have one question: if Rihanna has the most BDE ever – by popular consensus, it seems – what about Beyonce? The Rihanna vibe is very different from the Beyonce vibe. Does Beyonce have BDE?

Two

I think the public obsession with the Grande-Davidson pairing is baffling. Am I the only person who doesn’t think that it’s a big deal or unexpected that they got engaged approximately 6 minutes after meeting? They’re young, they’re in love, they’re rich, they’re not encumbered by regular people responsibilities. Why the hell not? I remember being in the throes of infatuation in my early 20s; had I had the wherewithal to act on my whims without thought of the consequences, I might have racked up a few post-haste engagements of my own. Do I think this is likely to last, to an actual marriage or beyond? Not really, but I’m not sure that’s the point; it’s certainly not my business to rain on these lovebirds’ parade. Seriously, though: can someone explain why the internet is losing its mind over this story? Is it simply because this particular couple has been pretty open about their feelings, and people are just getting irresistibly drawn into the whirlwind of their enthusiasm? Or am I missing something about Grande and/or Davidson that explains the obsession?

Three

Not to circle back to BDE, but I found it interesting that one of the more popular sub-topics in the Grande-Davidson genre is the “leagues of hotness” discussion. Grande is, again by popular consensus, several leagues of hotness above Davidson, and this is the kind of situation that apparently never not raises the question “how?” [insert obligatory eyeroll] In my experience, for men in Davidson’s position there are only two accepted answers: (i) money, and (ii) a big d**k. If the roles were reversed, the conventional answer would be … actually, I have no idea. I don’t think there is one, unless “he’s gay and it’s all just a fauxmance” counts as one. I get why people might not immediately jump to money being a, quote-unquote, explanation* for “non-conventionally attractive woman dates hot guy” scenarios; glass ceiling and all. But why does no one go, “she’s obviously just phenomenal in bed, duh”? Why is “he obviously has no sexual interest in her whatsoever” – in other words, the exact opposite – the go-to assumption?

[* No explanation is actually needed. What people find attractive is a long and infinitely varied list. Not sure why this is still noteworthy in the year 2018.]

7 Comments on What I Read: More Random Musings

  1. Time for me to extend my gratitude once again, Adina. While I had observed the expression BDE in my various feeds, I hadn’t caught up with the backstory.

    Delighted to say “I get it!” I do NOT agree with the Vice journalist regarding her designation of Lindsay Lohan, however: to me, she will, always exemplify a sad waste of talent and potential.

    Enchanted that Bob Ross is included! This might be a bit of a stretch for some (no bad pun intended 😉 but if you’re not familiar with this gent, check him out.

    As for Ariana & Pete, I agree with your observations Adina: young fun, but nd.

    Finally, Rihanna has got it–but it seems to me that Drake doesn’t (despite his best efforts,) and that is surely why he hasn’t succeeded in “getting” with her.

    I learn a lot from following your blog, Adina!
    Thanks again 🙂

  2. I think the issues/fascination with the Ariana and Pete romance is that he has been quite open in the past that he has been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, which can come with some pretty extreme highs and lows. I remember you said you watch Crazy Ex Girlfriend… this is what Rebecca was also diagnosed with.

    While it is wonderful to see a young couple in love, I think that it is combined with the ‘train wreck’ watching of people waiting for this to explode based on Pete’s mental illness. He’s commented that just because he has BPD it doesn’t mean he is toxic in a relationship, but I think that many people just don’t have a good understanding of mental illness (and/or this particular one) and they are fascinated by the whole swiftness of the relationship.

    If I had to grade myself on my BDE, I’d put me at around 80%. 😉

  3. OK, I had to google what is BDE, and then I fell down a BDE rabbit-hole. And yet I’m still not sure what it is, because I would say that Chris Hemsworth DOES have it.

  4. People like it because it’s happy and fun. Nobody left their spouse, nobody is cheating or lying. I think people in general are starved for positive feelings. There’s a lot of terrible things going on. A lot of terrible people making awful noises about everything. Lies and lies on all sides. No matter how this all goes down, it’s nice to see young people in love. It’s just NICE. That’s my take.

  6. I had seen the BDE phrase around, but had not really thought about what it meant. (I don’t think I fully understand the term either, haha.)

  7. Had not heard of BDE either! To answer your earlier question, if Rihanna has the most BDE, I would say the Beyonce does not. I see them as sort of energy opposites. While Beyonce clearly has confidence, it is not low-key, and she also seems like someone who cares deeply about what other people think about her in a way that Rihanna does not (or seems not too). If that makes sense?