As should be apparent by now, I have pretty much given up on the idea of being a “blogger”. I suppose you can call this blogging, but that’s only for lack of a better word. I am not an influencer, or a social media personality, or whatever the term du jour is. Yet, having occupied this space on the periphery of the blogosphere for over a decade (BCRL was not my first go at this particular rodeo), I feel like I am in this peculiar position of being neither/or – not really an insider, but not totally an outsider either. I find it fascinating, from my perch, to observe how blogging is evolving. The current buzzword is authenticity. Readers crave it. Businesses looking after their next marketing push want it. And bloggers are stuck in the middle, spinning their wheels.

I may be exaggerating.

Nevertheless, it is a challenging time to a blogger. There are lots of money to be made, sure – if you’re in the right demographic, with the right resources to get your foot in the door – but it’s also a tough business. Audiences expect a lot, often contradictory things. For example, you cannot get traction as a blogger unless you present an immaculate, careful curated image, but too much curation yields accusations of inauthenticity. The whole premise of blogging-as-a-marketing-business is founded upon aspiration; aspiration and authenticity are not natural bedfellows.

Have you ever read the IG comments of prominent bloggers? It is a very interesting experience.

What has stood out to me the most is the fact that any time a blogger presents content that betrays some less-than-generically-aspirational detail, they get a slew of negative comments. Some of those comments can be downright virulent. As a business trying to attract sponsors, this is not a good strategy. So I completely understand why bloggers retreat behind the blandest façade possible, trying to minimize blowback.

There is, I think, a correlation in many people’s minds between authenticity and relatability. Show me your messy room so I can feel reassured that, at some level, you and I have something in common. Which is fine, but do you expect Goop to be relatable? Do you expect Walmart to be authentic? When you are looking at a successful blogger you are seeing a business managing a million-dollar brand – themselves. (And, before you mention it, lower tier full-time bloggers are no different, even if their income bracket is. Successful blogging, in this day and age, takes a pretty specific path, and anyone who seriously aspires to that success knows it and will strive to pursue it.) Unless a blogger made his or her brand based on “I’m just like you” realness – which is extremely rare – accommodating an audience’s desire for authenticity can be a minefield. Socio-economic class issues alone would torpedo a good many number of well-intentioned bloggers.

I think businesses are getting savvy to these issues. Sure, some are only just now discovering social media, and their blanket sponsorships still end up splashed over questionable blog posts (fashion bloggers talking about their favourite, say, toilet paper – apologies to anyone who has written something like that recently). Others are starting to realize that the ROI very much depends on whether there is an alignment of brands between blogger and product. If a product is being marketed based on its aspirational value, it makes sense to hook up with a blogger who can add to the cachet (and vice versa). If a product is being marketed based on authenticity, a different strategy may be called for. To take a personal example: I never take beauty product recommendations from (monetized) bloggers; but I will try the s**t out of any (inexpensive) products recommended by other commenters on my favourite forums. Someday soon, companies will figure out a way to tap into these networks of small-i influencers and a whole new field of marketing will explode.

Authenticity in social media is hard for anyone, famous or not. You only have to look at something like Refinery29’s Money Diaries to see that. People absolutely tear apart the anonymous diarists over the dumbest s**t. (Honestly, there are days when I feel like the internet is basically the Judgment Olympics – a competition to see who can be the most righteous and judgy.) So whether you are a blogger or a nobody (and especially a non-anonymous nobody), there is very little incentive for laying out your entire life to strangers on the internet.

Which is too bad, because I love reading about the minutiae of other people’s lives.

This brings me to my obligatory expression of regret over the days of old. Indulge me, won’t you.

I grew up in a different, gentler era when people could post all kinds of navel-gazing, earnest crap online without fear of being engulfed by an avalanche of criticism, ridicule, or (much) worse. Ah, we were all much more innocent back then. Having grown up with a now bygone style of blogging, I still seek it out wherever I can. It survives in a few places (smaller blogs, mostly) and I cherish it now in a way I never did before. I’ve been guilty in the past of ragging on bloggers for what were, in retrospect, pretty minor infractions of what I considered “blogging etiquette”. I wouldn’t do that now because I have very little interest in running people off the internet anymore – whether I agree with them or not. I am obviously not speaking about people who espouse racist, sexist, or homophobic views; yet given how prevalent those remain, I find it increasingly easy to let other “differences of opinion” slide. Mommy wars? IDGAF how you raise your child, as long as they are loved, cared for, and (ideally) encouraged to become a productive member of society. Style advice? Hard pass – you do you, and I’ll do me, thanks. The same goes for any other aspect of daily life that lends itself to judgments that have nothing to do with ethics and everything to do with personal preference. I love reading about other people’s choices in these matters; I’m just not interested in debating those choices – theirs or mine. Unfortunately, most days I feel like I’m in the (silent) minority.

I am not sure that this post has a point … except perhaps to say: my, what a tangled web we’ve woven. People like to aspire, but they also enjoy having the opportunity to feel superior. They like pretty things, but they don’t want to be “sold to”. They want to genuinely connect, but they also just want their own value judgments mirrored at them. Bloggers trying to be all things to all people will inevitably fail, and will get mocked for trying. What’s the answer? I have no idea, man.

16 Comments on On Authenticity and Blogging

  1. “People like to aspire, but they also enjoy having the opportunity to feel superior.”

    This is spot on and encapsulates something I personally have been struggling with recently. At the end of the day, I sincerely hope we can all be kind and respectful toward each other, but judgment is a hard instinct to overcome, especially when related to one’s own insecurities.

  2. I’m glad I’m just a reader! (And I try to only make positive comments, honest!)

  3. I get tired of bloggers that I’ve followed for years slowly morphing into one giant commercial/sponsored post. No thank you, I do not want to swipe up to shop your shirt that I’ve seen on about 5 other bloggers so that you can get the affiliate money.

    One particular blogger that I’ve followed for about 6 years Instagrammed and affiliate linked her vacation. You’re on vacation with your family, the world will keep spinning if you don’t link your coverup! She is what you described, once authentic, but now completely sponsored.

  4. This is exactly why I retreated from my brief experiment in lifestyle/personal blogging and went in a book blog direction instead…since there’s very little monetization, there’s a lot more in the way of “real” voices. That being said, there’s still plenty of judgment (people who stop reading books v people who always finish them is always good for some drama) and there are definitely people who have closer relationships with publishers/are more “aspirational”, so there’s really nowhere safe.

  5. I’m not really sure why some of the consumers of blogs can’t just take them as a bit of fun. Of course it’s not really real: the minute you photograph or write about yourself, you’re thinking about the observer and what you do is no longer unconscious, but crafted (curated? Is that the word now?) And what’s wrong with that? That’s entertainment! It horrifies me to see the comments on some blogs, the judgemental tone and ‘explain why you let me down’ -ness on show. Live and let live. Enjoy or unfollow.. Simple.
    Btw: I find your blog lots of fun and also thoughtful, which is why I read it!

  6. This is so interesting to me as a long time blogger who still does occasionally blog the minutia – I’m with you there! I love reading about other people’s lives. My own blog exists mostly as a log of my own life for myself. I too remember the old days when blogs were more online journals for people about their lives and interests. I miss those days. The curation of people’s homes and wardrobe for the sake of sponsors and followers… I don’t know, I think about this a lot. I don’t really have a thesis on it, but it’s interesting.

    • I wonder sometimes if there will be a return to the old skool blogging as a reaction to what’s now the norm. I don’t know. Probably not. But blogging will continue to evolve, I’m sure.

  7. As someone who came to “know” you through a stretch of time spent on GOMI, it’s interesting to read your thoughts on this.

    I, like you it seems, am now a lot less interested in being quite so judgy about how bloggers choose to present themselves. I feel quite nostalgic for those days when things seemed so innocent in blogland.

    • Speaking purely for myself, I’ve come to realize that the urge to judge/critique is strongest in me when I’m disatisfied with something in my own life. It’s almost like a form of avoidance/procrastination. So that, to me, explains a lot about my former participation in GOMI. I’m in a different head space now. It’s hard to work up the energy to be outraged about stuff bloggers do these days – there is so much else claiming my outrage, it’s exhausting already.

  8. Any chance you can explain something about GOMI for me? Do actual bloggers go on the forums and interact/comment about their own blogs??

    I discovered GOMI purely by accident and kind of fell down the old rabbit hole reading comments about certain bloggers I was familiar with. Many of the comments are snarky, funny, and sometimes spot-on (and, yes, some are just mean too). I can’t imagine the actual blogger wanting to read some of that—seems like it would either be hurtful or infuriating. Maybe I’m not really understanding how GOMI works?

    • I haven’t been on GOMI in a few years but based on my past experience, I think some bloggers do read their own threads. I think they’ve occasionally tried to respond to commenters there but that used to be shut down pretty quick. Mostly, I think bloggers responded on their own channels (blog, insta, whatever). I still see bloggers I follow now occasionally mention GOMI. I do think a majority of comments are/were hurtful and intended to be so. That’s why I left. I used to think it was all constructive criticism but I came to decide that wasn’t the case, imo.

      • Thanks for replying. I agree, most comments are not constructive criticism, mostly just people using the anonymity of the internet to say whatever they want.

  9. Such a great post! I agree with the previous poster that book blogs have more “real” voices – style and/or interior design/craft blogs are almost all impossibly monetized to be point of being unreadable. I look for good writing! Have followed several blogs on subjects I don’t really care much about simply because of a clever writer.

  10. I just am tired of … “And that’s why we love HelloFresh! And that’s why we love Blue Apron! And That’s why we love…” Can ya… you know…stick with a sponsor for more than 2 weeks before popping in with a competitor’s #ad ? And how many internet mattresses can a person have anyway?

    I’m trying to pick up more ‘authentic’ blogs and that’s how I found you!

    • I think there are some bloggers who are able to strike a good balance, but I think there is an inherent conflict/pressure once you monetize – choosing a non-sponsored post over a sponsored one means less money for your family, so what do you do? I’m happy I don’t constantly have to grapple with that choice.

      But, as a reader, I’m generally not a fan of sponsored posts because they all read like canned copy.

      It will be interesting to see how blogging continues to evolve, that’s for sure.