I am not a big fan of self-help books, but I love reading about pop psychology, which is why I picked up 59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute by Richard Wiseman at the thrift store a while back. In a nutshell, it’s a kind of amalgamator of results from studies on various aspects of social and individual behavior and psychology. Everything is distilled down to simple action items you can easily incorporate into different facets of your daily life. It’s kind of a superficial book in that sense, but on the plus side, anyone reading it might find at least a few tips that resonate with them – worth thrifting or picking up at the library if you’re in the mood for a bit of “self-improvement”.
For me, the tip that resonated the most involved keeping a gratitude journal. This is not breaking news for most of you, I’m sure, but I don’t particularly like journaling so it’s not something I was ever moved to try before. I think it struck a chord this time because I realized recently that my general contentment level was out of whack with my actual quality of life. One of the side-effects of my anxiety (and, possibly, an overall pessimistic bent) is a tendency to dwell on negative experiences – past, present and potential. However, viewed objectively, my life is pretty darn amazing. I decided that keeping a gratitude journal might be an easy way to remind myself of that fact.
Over the past month and a half, I developed a routine around my gratitude journal. Every day on my walk to the train station after work, I start to think about my list of 5 daily things for which I am grateful. It’s a quick 10-minute walk, and I don’t think too long and hard about any particular item; in fact, I like to choose as many mundane items as possible, as long as they are things that truly sparked joy for me that day – something I ate, or something I wore, or something nice someone said to me. It gets me to really focus on all the pleasant experiences of my day, which can sometimes change my perception of how that day went. If I can’t think of 5 mundane things, I broaden the net. Bigger picture items could be things like my kids being healthy, or having a supportive family, or upcoming fun trips. Heck, “only 2 more days till the weekend” has shown on up my list before!
Later, once the kids are in bed for the day, and I have a bit of time to myself, I write down my list. In conjunction with that, I also do a quick 10 minute “meditation” session using my tarot deck (a simple 3 card spread). I use that as a way to connect with my unconscious, and let my intuition speak. (I don’t believe in predestination and fortune telling.)
Over the first month or so, I began to notice a definite improvement in my overall level of contentment. I still experienced stress and anxiety (including one fairly unpleasant episode) but I felt more satisfied and at peace with my life and myself, and less inclined to negativity and general crabbiness. At the beginning of September, with the kids’ return to school and other life stuff, I began to slip in my routine – skipping days here and there, dropping the meditation part. And I feel like I’m backsliding in my progress. I am still in a better mind space than before, but I can see that if I’m not careful and don’t recommit to the whole process, I could easily slide back into the old mindset. So I’m going to try to avoid that. The transition to winter is always a hard one for me (short days + cold temps affect my mood like whoa) so anything that makes things a little easier is worth hanging on to.
If you’ve kept or are currently keeping a gratitude journal, I would love to hear from you. How do you stay on track? Do you find it making a real difference over a longer period of time? And what kind of differences are you noticing?
I will look for this book! I also highly recommend Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…and it’s All Small Stuff by Richard Carlson
Thanks for the recc!
I find meditation to be the best mood balancer/ anxiety diminisher. Sometimes it involves gratitude, but always I aim to be in the present. And, like you, if I maintain a view of what’s currently true about my life, I realize that my anxiety is just mind chatter roaming the past and future. In the present, I do relax more. My husband has benefited from focusing daily on gratitude.
Thanks for writing about it!
Thanks for sharing! I find “old school” meditation difficult because I find my mind races more than usual when I try for the opposite, so I have to get around that somehow.
Glad it’s been a positive experience for you!
A friend and I try to exchange daily texts with each other about what we’re grateful for–it keeps me somewhat accountable and it’s been a really nice way to stay connected regularly as we live in different places.
That is SUCH a wonderful idea!
Curious about your meditation with the tarot cards; could you explain more, if that isn’t too complicated? Thanks either way!
I basically shuffle them for a while, whilst trying to clear my mind (as much as I can). I cut them 3 times, then lay out the top 3 cards. I’m still learning the (traditional) meaning of the cards, so I look it up online. I like looking at Biddy Tarot, because the explanations are more … open-ended, if that makes sense? As I read it, I wait to see if anything jumps out and resonates with me, and I jot down some key words. These may be different each time I draw that particular card. Once I do that for each card, I look at the words I wrote down and try to figure out what message is calling from within. It’s part free association, part just trying to intuitively tap into whatever I’m feeling/thinking underneath all my usual mental chatter. Does that make sense? It’s kinda hard to explain without a concrete example. But there is no particular “magic” (no pun intended) to it.
Thanks so much for the detailed reply! I’m not good with traditional meditation so really liked your idea of a way to “connect with my unconscious, and let my intuition speak.”