I didn’t watch the Oscars this year. I forgot the show was on until I checked Instagram on Sunday afternoon and saw the red carpet photos. I felt no desire to watch the actual thing, which was probably good considering that I might not have been able to anyway – we cancelled our cable last year. And it wouldn’t have mattered much, because I haven’t (yet) seen any of the nominated movies. I’m pretty sure I only saw one movie in the theatre last year, which was Hotel Transylvania 3 and you won’t need 3 guesses to figure out for whose benefit that was.
Wait, did Black Panther come out in 2018? If so, let me revise my earlier statement: I saw 2 movies in the theatre last year. [I have also reached the point in my life where all years begin to blend together, and EVERYTHING from, say, 2008 onwards feels like it happened anywhere from six months to 2 years ago. More often than not, I have to refer to the ages of my children to figure out a moderately accurate timeline.]
Anyway.
This is not a post about how I am over the Oscars. Because, let’s be very clear, I am not. As a profoundly cynical person, I love everything about Hollywood. With Hollywood, I can safely assume nothing is as it seems, and simply enjoy the spectacle. It doesn’t make me feel bad about my cynicism, you know? So, I love the Oscars. I just don’t have the time or the inclination to consume it first-hand. Give me the highlight reel, the memes, the reaction pieces. I love “watching” the Oscars through other people’s eyes.
Come to think of it, that’s how I consume most of my pop culture these days. How else can I make sure that I am able to opine on everything people are talking about any and all of the time, and still remain a somewhat productive person? Because, oh yes, I have opinions. I must! Having opinions about things one has never actually seen/read/experienced for themselves strikes me as being very au courant, don’t you think? [needless to say, I write that sentence, and the rest of this post, with tongue firmly in cheek.]
So, in this post, let’s talk things about which I know nothing except what I’ve read on social media. Yay, fun!
Best Actor/Actress
Let me reiterate that I saw none of the nominated movies. I hope to see The Favourite at some point (come through for me, Netflix!) because I’m a history nerd and I’m curious about what Yorgos Lanthimos does with the story of Queen Anne and Sarah Churchill. With that said, I am happy that Rami Malek won because he’s a tiny, adorable-seeming person and not an old, white dude. I also grew up listening to a lot of Queen music, so I appreciate that Rami won for this particular role, though the movie as a whole is problematic. But, best of all, it means that Bradley Cooper lost. Hahahahahaha!
Sorry, guys. If you love BCoop, I hope we can still be friends. But, if not, at least let’s be thankful that we didn’t fall out over something truly silly, like deciding who’s the best Chris.I am also happy that Olivia Colman won, because she was fantastic in Broadchurch and seems like a wonderful lady. I hear her acceptance speech was very endearing. My favourite speech will forever be Sally Field’s – it’s basically what I want to say anytime someone lets me up on a podium with microphone access – so I do love me a good “aww, shucks” moment.
But I am also a little sad that Glenn Close didn’t win, because I really like her as well. Someone said that Glenn might have played the Queen Anne role a few years ago, and that it SO TRUE! Remember Dangerous Liaisons? Her Madame de Merteuil is one of my favourite female characters on film.
Best Picture
As far as I’m concerned, they should have given this to Black Panther. Look, I saw that movie and it was great, OK? Also, Chadwick Boseman wears a cape on the red carpet very well, and that should count for something.
Lady Gaga
Surely she must have better things to do than try to sell me Bradley Cooper as a lust object. I won’t have it, Gaga!
The Fashion
I have yet to see an outfit from Sunday’s red carpet that totally blows me away, but I’m happy there was a lot of colour for once. All the pink gowns were fun, even though I didn’t really like any of them. Better than black, anyway.
“But, Adina, how can you say that” you might ask. “You wear a lot of black.”
Here’s the thing: if I ever end up on a red carpet, I will probably wear black.* Because it’s a classic, it doesn’t immediately look dated regardless of style, and it feels comfortable and safe. I get why people gravitate to black. But, as an observer, black is boring. The details, which might be stunning in real life, largely get lost in photos. I want drama on the red carpet, and I want colour. Is that so much to ask for?
Anyway, this year, I really enjoyed Awkwafina’s outfit. It had a certain DGAF-ness to it, whilst still being appropriate for the occasion. I appreciate subtle subversiveness. I also appreciated Nicholas Hoult’s draped suit sash situation. It was almost as good as Timothee Chalamet’s bejeweled harness from the Golden Globes. And that cape of Chadwick’s. Who knew that men’s accessories could be so much fun?
* Scratch that. I’ve pondered this further, and on balance, should I ever end up at the Oscars, I would like to wear some kind of dark green velvet, maybe with sequins. I basically want to look like a sleek, slightly intimidating lizard. Fun!
The Chris Evans
So Chris Evans Chris-Evaned at the Oscars and a good two-thirds of social media went weak at the knees. Listen, it’s better than when people lose their minds over Bradley Cooper. But it seemed a tad overblown given that, much like Kooky Klumsy Jennifer Law, Gentleman Chris Evans has become an awards show staple. Hold out for more! You won’t have to wait long. Just give Chris Evans a minute; I’m sure he’s about to rescue a one-eyed puppy from a burning building or something.
And that concludes my Secondhand Opinions About the Oscars I Didn’t Watch. Tell me yours in the comments!
Wait, why do you dislike Bradley?? We can still be friends, but dang! I loved A Star is Born. I liked Green Book, but did observe some problematic themes. Definitely didn’t expect it to win Best Picture. And I didn’t see the rest, but The Favourite is on my list to see when it becomes convenient.
Oh, and I hear you on the Glenn Close thing, I would have been happy for her to win, but did you see Olivia Colman’s acceptance speech? It was hilarious and positively charming.
Honestly, I can’t explain it. I just don’t like the Coop.
The thing I find fascinating about the Oscars is how much it can’t help but show the industry’s true colours even as they’re trying to make themselves look good. Like, everyone has talked ad nauseam about how problematic Greenbook and Bohemian Rapsody are (to the point that even someone like me, who hasn’t seen either movie, knows all the talking points) for months leading up to Oscars. You would think that the voters would take note and, you know, vote in a way that aligns with Hollywood’s so-called progressive liberal reputation. Nope. Still the same old, same old when it comes to the major categories like Best Picture.
I did happen to watch the Oscars but not in entirety. I have to agree with you that there were not a lot of memorable fashion moments, with the exception of a few:
Kasey Musgraves wore a pink gown that was quite unforgettable not necessarily in a good way. It was original and she wore it well. I believe that it received a lot of recognition from fashion critics.
My favorite for the evening was Constance Wu’s yellow gown; although it seemed reminiscent of something I’ve seen on the red carpet recently.
I have only recently seen a few of the Oscar nominated films because they were released at Red Box. A Star is Born and Bohemian Rhapsody. Both films did not disappoint!
When I was young, I would go to the roller rink (hint: I was born in the ’70s) and whenever a Queen song would play overhead, everybody skated along. So while I never bought any of their albums the transcendent nature of their music has certainly left a legacy. After I watched Bohemian Rhapsody, I couldn’t help but have that song in my head and sing it out loud for days after. And just when I thought I moved on, here I am with Bohemian Rhapsody in my head again…ugh!
Rami Malek played the part well. I loved his speech, which was so humbled since he wasn’t necessarily an obvious choice but he said “I guess it worked out.”
It sounds like both Rami and Mahershala Ali shone in (and won for) movies that were otherwise problematic, and knew it by the time the awards season came around. Not an enviable position, but presumably their wins will help and not hinder their careers.
I did like Constance’s gown, but it reminded me a lot of Michelle Williams’ mustard dress from years ago, and that one was the better version, IMO. Kacey’s dress … my daughter would have loved. But I also have a hard time resisting tulle, so I don’t blame Kacey too much. Honestly, if it had been black, no one would have batted an eye.
BTW: I loved, loved, loved that Vera Wang yellow dress that Michelle Williams wore. I was thinking something more like Emma Stone’s yellow dress, but I checked out some of the pic’s online and it’s actually not anything like that one either.
Standing & clapping & cheering!!! Well done, Adina!
What’s your take on Billy Porter’s Siriano gown? Seemed like some of your current aesthetic turned on its head.
It looked fantastic, but I’m personally not drawn to huge skirts like that anymore (said as a person who wore the puffiest wedding dress i could find, lol!) So not an outfit I coveted for myself but Billy rocked it.
I didn’t watch there ceremony either, but did see some of the movies–Roma; If Beale Street Could Talk (happy to see Regina King win!); Hale County, this morning, this evening; and Minding the Gap were all among my favorites.
I have never met Chris Evans, but when I was a kid we lived in the same town, and I knew some of his family members, who were nice, so I’m always rooting for him!
Chris Evans seems like a sweetheart. It’s nice to know that sometimes appearance aren’t deceiving.
Rami completely ignoring Bryan Singer’s predatory actions for the sake of his Pscar campaign really turned me off against him. Not to mention, he was basically just doing good mimicry. One of my least favorite wins in recent years.
Cooper deserved that award more than he did: actually sang (didn’t lip synch), didn’t have the benefit of copying past footage and created a character on his own
Hey, that’s totally a valid point about Rami. I will give him a bit more benefit of the doubt than most because he’s still fairly young/new to Hollywood and probably doesn’t have a lot of leverage to demand the firing of someone like Singer. It’s a role of a lifetime, so the temptation is there to do it. And once he’s done it, he’d be hard pressed to come out against Singer full-on since it would be implicitly critical of his own part and his employer (the studio). I think the studios or whoever keeps hiring people like Singer should be held accountable.
I can’t really speak to the performance, of course.
To play devils advocate, Cooper’s role was not really new either – the movie’s been done several times and he had those other performances to use as a yardstick. I assume, from your comment, that he made it his own. I give props to any actor who can also sing … but that’s the nicest thing I’m gonna say about BCoop 😉
Haha! I’m here for your secondhand opinions. I often have plenty of those, too, and am much more interested in post-award show takes than the actual event. I am with you on B Coop, though I did love him in Silver Linings Playbook. There’s something about the trailer for A Star is Born that makes me cringe (the bad accent? The faux tan?) though I’m sure I’ll see it eventually.
Is it bad that I haven’t even seen the trailer? I don’t particularly like weepies, and ASIB seems like a weepie but not in, like, a fun way (e.g. Steel Magnolias).