Hello, 40

Did I over-dress for my 40th birthday party? Is the sky blue? Of course I did, but in my defence, this wasn’t the party I was supposed to have. But in the age of pandemic, a backyard BBQ with immediate family (my husband, kids and my parents) feels like a luxury. All of my family knows me well at this point, so no one batted an eye at my outfit. I kicked off my shoes early and lounged on the deck with some pink moscato and a feast prepared by my dad.

Graphic Summer

I don’t do huge prints like this often anymore, but this one is special. I love the abstract graffiti paired with the contrast stripe — so good. With such a statement piece, I kept the rest of the outfit very simple. This is a classic silhouette, and while I don’t wear fit-and-flare skirts a lot, I love the drama of a midi version.

90s Throwback Baby

I don’t feel a lot of nostalgia for my teens years, but I do enjoy some of the 90s fashion that’s coming back. Like this illusion choker – remember those? And skinny barrettes. And, of course, the classic: Baz Luhrman’s Romeo + Juliet. Gosh, how amazing was the costuming in that movie? I had a love/hate relationship with Claire Danes back in the day. I loved her because of My So Called Life and also because she was the same age and kinda looked like me (mostly when she dyed her hair red in MSCL), but I also sorta hated her because she had a much cooler life than I had. I mean – she kissed Leo! Back in the day when Leo was, like, the Timothee Chalamet of our generation, not the Jack Nicholson of Gen Z. I guess there’s a reason why 90s fashion is considered vintage now. Sigh.

So, this is 40.

To say that this wasn’t how I envisioned my 40th birthday to pass is, well, an understatement. But then again, 2020 took all of us by surprise. At the beginning of the year, it looked like I would be spending some time on self-introspection, thinking about what this milestone represents and how I feel about it. I even had the inklings of a little mid-life crisis hatching. Scratch that. Since March, my entire mental and emotional bandwidth has been devoted to adapting to and managing the impacts of the pandemic – at work, at home, and in my personal relationships. I have no energy to spare on thinking about what turning 40 means. All I know is that I am awfully lucky to have all my loved ones close to me and safe, to have financial security, to be healthy. From that perspective, I’ve made it. This is as good as 40 gets.

I am not yet ready to look ahead of me. The immediate future is still filled with so much uncertainty and anxiety; beyond that, I still need to think about what the next 30 or 40 years of my life looks like. In some ways, 40 does feel like a frontier of sorts. Growing up, it was the outer boundary for all my personal life plans; I knew what my life up to 40 was supposed to look like, what the milestones would be. The ages of 15 to 40 are well-depicted in our popular culture so they feel, well, familiar even as you are living them. I suppose after 65 or so, things again come into focus – retirement and/or grandparenthood are also common enough themes in popular culture. But the period between 40 and 65, for a woman especially, is like … a sort of black box. Obviously, those of us who work, continue to work; those of us who have kids, continue to parent. Relationship status changes or stays the same. But what does life look like, day to day? What are the goals that fuel the forward movement? For me, that remains to be decided.

So instead of looking forward, let’s look back. And because this blog is, after all, meant to be frivolous, let’s kick it back to the last decade and some important style questions.

Favourite brands
2000: Gap (LOL!)
2010: Diane von Furstenberg, BCBG, Anthropologie
2020: Dries van Noten, Issey Miyake, Rick Owens, Marni

Aspirational brands
2000: Coach (although this was more mid-2000s)
2010: Marc Jacobs, Chanel, Louis Vuitton
2020: Iris van Herpen

Favourite accessory
2000: shoes
2010: bags
2020: jewelry

Favourite colour/print to wear
2000: aqua/stripes (probably)
2010: purple/florals
2020: black/rainbow

Favourite places to shop
2000: Forever 21, H&M
2010: Winners (TJ Maxx), consignment
2020: thrift, consignment

Favourite silhouette
2000: low-rise jeans (sigh)
2010: pencil skirts & sheath dresses
2020: potato sack dresses; midi/maxi lengths everything

Favourite styling tip
2000: Hah!
2010: colour blocking/clashing
2020: layering

Favourite style icon
2000: I can’t remember – maybe Claire Danes?
2010: Audrey Hepburn
2020: Tilda Swinton

Favourite Splurge
2000: Something from the Gap, I am sure
2010: Louis Vuitton bag
2020: Issey Miyake dress

So much has changed, yet much … actually, no. Almost nothing has stayed the same. It’s as if, I dunno, I was a whole different person. Isn’t that funny? Day to day, I never feel like I’m changing. Even now, if you were to ask me if I feel as if I’ve changed over the past decade, I would hesitate. But when I start listing stuff like this, it’s so easy to see how much has changed. And if my sartorial preferences have changed so much, I can only assume the same is true in other areas as well.

Where am I going to be at 50? Stay tuned.