It’s been a while since I’ve done any kind of wardrobe review or planning, but in fairness, there has been a lot of sh*t happening in my personal life lately. That being said, I feel like it’s time to do a serious closet edit — one, because my closet is getting dangerously stuffed and two, because I’m at a bit of a crossroads, lifestyle-wise. For the foreseeable future, I will continue to work from home; perhaps indefinitely. I’ve had 18 months to assess my clothing needs for a WFH lifestyle, and it’s clear that those needs are different than those of my previous office life.
Knowing what I need to do and executing said plan are two different things.
My brain is forever in “but what if” mode. But what if things change? But what if I change my mind? And what it really boils down to is AM I REALLY READY TO PART WITH MY BLAZERS FOREVER???
Ahem, sorry for shouting.
For the most part, my dilemma is about how much of my office-only wardrobe I need or should keep. It’s not a simple question of casual versus business. I am happily keeping things that are not casual at all because I still enjoy dressing up, even when working from home. Especially when working from home. I can take more risks than I normally would. But the way I dress up is different. I don’t find myself reaching for blazers, ever. For layering, my 3rd piece is usually some unstructured topper like a cardigan or robe-like duster. Similarly, I tend to wear pants infrequently and it’s usually jeans when I do (on weekends or when I’m running out of the house). I don’t have a large collection of dress pants, but do I need even that?
There are also some one-of pieces in other categories that pose a similar dilemma. I have a plain black wrap dress that is eminently practical for all kinds of more formal occasions (work and otherwise) but I never reach for it in my day-to-day life because, well, it’s too serious and plain.
At the same time, these are all nice, quality pieces I like a lot. At this point, I don’t own much of anything else because I’ve been editing and upgrading my wardrobe for years. I’ve never been in this position before and I have to say that I feel rather at a loss.
Not to get all philosophical, but I think part of my internal struggle is that this isn’t about clothes, after all. Of course not. It’s about accepting change and moving on to a new chapter of my life. The way each of us do that is different, of course, but I would love to hear your stories if you are willing to share. I’m hoping reading them will help me on my journey too.
The other thing I feel I need to do is sit down and revisit my style avatars. In particular, I need to think about whether they still represent the “me” of now and, if not, who or what does. I still feel a strong affinity for some of my old avatars (the Bohemian, in particular) but I think that the changes that have been happening elsewhere in my life mean that some of them will need to shift or perhaps transform altogether. For example, one archetype/theme that has been really resonating with me lately is The Crone. Anyway, I am still thinking through all of it, but consider this a Note to Self: Do Some Homework. More to come, I’m sure.
So, I do a couple things if I’m on the fence with clothing. One, if you have the storage space you can always fold the items and pack them away in a rubber tub — out of sight out of mind — and then revisit the clothing down the line and make decisions when you feel less close/invested in the items.
Or, if it’s something I like but don’t love I’ll list it in my Poshmark closet at a higher price than I would typically ask. If someone buys it, than it’s worth it to me to clear it out!
I tend to use my work clothing as an armor, on how I want to present myself to the world. Whenever I switch positions, I do tend to do an edit on how I want to be seen. For the past 2+ years I’ve been the Marketing Director at a law firm, so I tend to dress modestly with a bit of “fun” to help be seen as the positive and lively marketing guru. (I also keep my tattoos covered at work, while my home outfits have them out).
With so much going on in your life right now, it could feel cathartic to do a purge to get rid of things you no longer need. Especially if it’s items that you can easily re-thrift at a later time if you need them.
I think the problem is that a lot of my blazers are “special” pieces, things that took years to find at the thrift stores. Hence my hesitation because I’m not sure I can find them again (thrifting has been going downhill a bit lately). So how sure am I that the changes in my life are permanent? But on the other hand … I DO want them to be permanent/long term, so maybe this is a small way to commit, mentally, to the change. Or maybe I’m just overthinking, as usual! Haha
Hi Adina. I don’t have any advice for you but I will share my story since you asked. 5.5 years ago I got rid of almost everything I owned so I could live a nomadic lifestyle and travel. I found it liberating to not have to worry about or care for things. It was awesome for about 4 years. Then the pandemic hit and I felt a serious loss of home and stability. I don’t regret this adventure I’ve been on but I do regret getting rid of everything. I never would have thought I’d miss my old stuff but I do. So often we hear stories about what a positive experience it is for people to purge their belongings but the opposite can be true too. I also feel guilty that I got rid of some things that should have been heirlooms to give my children. I should have saved all my jewelry for my daughter. On the other hand it may have not mattered anyway because I would have stored it all at my mom’s house and it was destroyed in a hurricane last year. Maybe fate would have had me start fresh either way. Certainly my experience is nothing like yours but maybe another reader will see this and think twice about getting rid of too much. I’m looking go forward to reading what you decide to do!
Thank you so much for sharing, and I agree that this is not a perspective that’s as common these days. All the more important to hear it. As someone who involuntarily had to give up almost all of her possessions, twice, I’m sure my reluctance to part with things is deeply rooted in that trauma. So I do sometimes try to push myself to get rid of stuff as a (over?) compensation to my instinct to hold on to things. It’s interesting because the pandemic def made me even more attached to my home and things than before. Anyway … all to say, there is probably a sweet spot for all of us, and we should go with whatever works for us (not necessarily what others tell us works) but understanding that nothing in life is guaranteed. Your experience with your mom’s house … I’m sorry, that must have been hard.
Thank you. People love to talk about how it feels right in the moment when you declutter but not how it feels ongoing.
I’m looking forward to hearing more as you work through this – I always find your posts on this topic really helpful in working through my own wardrobe reassessments.
Thanks! I am working on a post and should have something up soon. I am still sorting through my feelings on this, but it was a good exercise and a timely one.
I think I’ve only commented here once before but I always read 🙂 I’m at a similar crossroads with my work wardrobe. I took a new position mid-pandemic which requires more running around and popping into job sites and less time in meetings so all my lovely work dresses and heels are going unused but I haven’t been able to part with them. Also I hate ‘work’ pants (I’ve had a hard time finding flattering styles to work with my body shape) but pants are more conducive to my job responsibilities. I’ve found some creative work arounds with elastic waist yoga type pants that can pass with a dressier top and some accessories. Curious to see what others have to say on this matter.
Based on conversations I’ve had with quite a few people online and off, I think a lot of people are experiencing big changes and shifts after the last 18 months. So a lot of us are in a similar boat of trying to grapple with change. I am def interested in others’ views as well.
I feel this so much! I, too, have been working from home for a year and a half, and will continue to do so for at least 3 days per week going forward. Unlike you, my working from home wardrobe has been decidedly casual – jeans + tunic/sweater in the winter, casual summer dress in the summer. I, too, have a LOT of blazers (mostly thrifted, natch!), none of which I have worn in almost 2 years. I will probably go through them and get rid of a few, but I’ll keep some, because if/when I get a new job, more office attire may be required. But also, I probably haven’t worn 80%+ of my wardrobe in the last year and a half, which should be telling me something…Anyway, good luck! I love to see your wardrobe updates – what you keep & why, your process, etc.
The last year for me has been a continual lesson in “nothing is guaranteed” so I am having a hard time making current decisions based on what seems like an uncertain future. I can’t imagine going back to a business casual work environment but … who knows? I certainly didn’t see the last year coming either, you know. So I vacillate so much on what to do with some of my unworn clothing (which took me years to find). It seems like a silly thing to worry about, but I think that inability to make a decision is a symptom of, well, grief. Not to be a downer or anything …
Anyway, I think the best thing is take things slow. Go at your own pace in figuring things out. Good luck too!
My work went from Business to Business Casual to Casual over the course of a few years. I found making incremental changes more helpful than a wholesale Marie Kondo purge. I realized most of my wardrobe could be remixed with some new more casual pieces to hit each new target.
I certainly understand where you’re coming from in regard to accepting change and moving on to a new chapter of your life. My new chapter has been retirement and I still can’t quite wrap my head around the direction my style is going in.
Rena
http://www.finewhateverblog.com
Just chiming in to say that I hear all of this! About two years ago I started a lower-stakes job that gave me the flexibility to pursue certain projects. My office has moved permanently to work from home, which means that things I wore weekly suddenly don’t have a use. Mostly, these are things like wool pencil skirts I inherited from my grandmother or had tailored to fit me perfectly that I don’t really want to donate. Compounding this problem is that I could definitely get a better paying, more prestigious job where I might need more formal clothing. And I’m torn. I’m very used to pursuing success at work…..but this is the best work-life balance I’ve ever had and (as a kicker) the fun hobby job I’ve picked up using my spare time is on track to pull in 50% of my base salary. So giving up formal work clothing feels like making a decision on all that.
I feel this so so much. Sometimes, it’s not just clothes … it’s really about a life decision.
This is wholly unsolicited advice, but I would say it sounds like you’re really enjoying the work life balance and the success of your hobby … go for it! I used to be very “traditional career success” oriented as well, only to realize in recent years that it wasn’t what truly made me happy. It was just what I had been told would make me happy. Obviously, it could be very different for you, but that’s the key thing: if you’re not doing the thing for you, consider whether you need to do it at all, and if you don’t need to (and this was the really hard part for me) then let go of the guilt of not doing it because you “should”.
Srry, again, for the unsolicited advice — this just hits home for me so much.
“Not to get all philosophical, but I think part of my internal struggle is that this isn’t about clothes, after all. Of course not. It’s about accepting change and moving on to a new chapter of my life. The way each of us do that is different, of course, but I would love to hear your stories if you are willing to share. I’m hoping reading them will help me on my journey too.”
I recently had an insight which is kin to this one, although not identical: that my relationship with clothes parallels my relationship to time. In both cases I’ve already purged all the activities or items that I don’t love, and now there’s just far too many things that I love dearly. Or at least too many with respect to the size of the closet/number of hours in a day.
Not so much about transitions and change, but just observing that how we approach our clothes and closets can often show up in many parts of our lives.
I have that struggle too, both with clothes and hobbies. Too many things I love, not enough time (to do them or wear them).
I feel you on this, Adina. And I am so sorry for how the past 18 months have been so hard on you, in more ways that most of us had to deal with. It’s like, yes, change is inevitable, but does it have to come and slap you in the face so much?
For me, clothing & change are a sticky topic, because I am such an emotional buyer in general. Right now, for example, I am hoping to be pregnant by the end of the year/early next year (becoming a solo mom), and my fingers are already itching to buy both baby clothes, AND more leisure wear because “then I’ll be at home even more”. I do the same with hobbies, where I go crazy on buying supplies, even though I have no idea if I will actually enjoy doing it. But buying/keeping things feels like control and order.
What I’ve realized in reading your article & thinking on it, is that sometimes, I think we use clothes to create the person that we think we are or want to be in our heads; like, I feel it’s fair to say you’re someone whose job matters to her, and wants to be seen as put together and reliable, hence the hesitation with the blazers & other work/formal wear; or with me, I want to will a baby into existence, seeing myself as fun and nurturing, hence the pull towards casual, non-office clothes… and I think those people in our heads are important and valid, but when they clash with our current situation (you working from home, me getting the news that my egg reserve is alarmingly low at almost 32), that can cause a lot of stress and turmoil.
I don’t have an answer, I’m afraid. I think all we can do is talk these things out with others, and then give ourselves lots of grace, both for inaction and knee-jerk actions.
Thank you for sharing this thoughtful comment and a part of your journey with us. I wish you peace and good fortune in your journey, wherever it takes you.
I relate a lot to what you are saying, and I never thought of buying/holding on to things as a way to assert control. It’s an idea I am going to sit with.
I am taking a more gentle approach now, going through multiple closet edits over a longer period of time. Each time I am able to let go of a little bit more. So rather than one drastic edit, I’m taking baby steps to get to a realistic (for me, for now) closet. Having done a clothing swap recently has helped me too. Being reminded that others will enjoy and care for my clothes (things I have hunted for and loved) after I am done with them helps me to move on.