Last time we talked about arty things, I mentioned that I had finally picked up supplies to try needle punching. It’s something I have been wanting to explore for a while for mostly obvious reasons; it’s a form of fiber art closely related to embroidery and I am a big fan of texture – in the past, I’ve used different embroidery stitches to approximate the nubby texture of needle punching. I thought needle punching would allow me to extend my exploration of colour and form in a new medium with – and here I am going to reveal my hubris – minimal downtime. Because of the whole similarity thing? Yeah, I was wrong.
Although both involve needles, the techniques are very different. Different enough, I think, that my skill at embroidery is probably to the detriment of my ability to figure out needle punching. I gave it a good, honest try and it was hard. But more than that … I hated it.
Ok, hate might be a strong word. I just didn’t enjoy the experience. At all.
At first, I thought it was because it was a new skill that was proving more difficult to learn than I had expected. It’s been a while since I’ve tried a new craft and felt totally useless at something; nobody likes that feeling, right? I had no desire to keep going, and that made me mad at myself. I’m not a quitter! What does it say about me, especially at my age, that I am immediately ready to walk away from something just because it’s hard? After all, I have learned over the years that being really good at something – anything! – takes patience and practice.
I spent a few days really beating myself up over this. It might sound silly but it really bothered me that I couldn’t motivate myself enough to continue, to persevere, to get better. I felt bad … but not enough to actually want to do it. What a dilemma, huh? And then, coincidentally, I read something online that helped me shift my perspective. I am going to try to paraphrase it here, as I don’t remember it exactly, but it was something to the effect that while nobody is born a master of a craft – that still takes time and practice – people are inherently more inclined or suited to particular things. In my case, that would be embroidery and beading and painting, but not knitting or weaving or (evidently) needle punching.
It’s not so much that the former “came easy” to me; not in the sense people might think – I wasn’t immediately good at these things (certainly not any better than I was at needle punch right out of the gate). But I enjoyed the learning process. Instead of feeling frustrated about how my first efforts fell short of my goals, I felt energized to keep trying. I was excited to keep going, to experiment, to learn more. It didn’t feel like a chore. It felt fun.
This has been a total lightbulb moment for me. It allowed me to give myself permission to “give up” on needle punching. At least for now. I might try again at some point, but I won’t force myself to do it if it still feels like a joyless struggle. I would rather put time into my embroidery, and continue to improvise and improve my techniques, than into anything that feels like a chore. Art should never feel like that.
I will admit that this has been a challenging mental framework to shift – to stop equating putting something aside with quitting (and all its negative connotations) – but also a really healthy process. In a strange way, a growth-oriented process at that; although I have not grown my skill base, I have gained a new perspective which I believe will help me to grow in other ways over the years.
For fun, here is a look at the results of my needle punching attempts – front and back:
Not horrendous but these brought me no joy to make so it’s time focus on something that does!
I am not crafty, so I have no frame of reference here, but good for you for taking a stand and spending time on things that bring joy. 🙂
That’s great insight for needle punching and beyond! I like your point that it’s not that other things don’t take work, but that learning process is enjoyable. And when it isn’t, when it is a chore or worse, it is not at all bad to move on. Thinking back to some hobbies I’ve tried but then really couldn’t bring my self to continue – which I’d felt bad about. But I really need to think of as another kind of learning about myself.
This was such a lightbulb moment for me, because I always feel bad about “giving up” on things. I pride myself on perseverance. But I have also come to realize that the desire to avoid possibly having to “give up” has made me hold back from trying certain things. My new mindset is: try everything, even if it doesn’t work out.
Good for you! Trying and having it not work out just means you’re open to new things and have learned more about yourself in the process. You have not failed! Setting it aside means you’re choosing to invest your time in something else – there are only so many hours in the day.
I just read Atomic Habits and one of my favorite bits was the section related to boredom and challenge. There’s a sweet spot when doing something new – too easy and it’s not appealing, too difficult and it makes it hard to stick with it. There’s also the matter of aptitudes, which you referred to. “Crafty person” does not automatically mean everything will come easily or be enjoyable.
I love creative and artistic hobbies that involve color, texture and pattern but have some pain and fine motor skill issues that mean detailed painting and fiber arts are challenging for me. Solution? Origami, large murals, and other projects that have the right mix of challenging/enjoyable. We are all different and, just like with clothing, it can take some experimenting to figure out what fits our style.
How are you enjoying Atomic Habits? I’ve heard a lot about it lately, and wondering if it’s worth picking up.
I think everyone is artistic in their own way, but sometimes people end up trying things that aren’t in their wheelhouse, and then they just give up entirely on the idea of being artistic. I definitely agree with you about the importance of experimenting.