The Proust questionnaire came out of a parlor game popularized (but not created) by the famous French writer, Marcel Proust. It’s been a feature in Vanity Fair, my favourite magazine, for decades – in each issue, they have a different famous person answer the questions. The idea behind the questionnaire is that the answers given reveal the person’s true nature.

I love anything resembling a personality quiz, so of course, I enjoy the Proust questionnaire – both answering it and reading others’ answers. I’ve done it before and I think it’s a fun thing to revisit every, say, 5-10 years and see how things change. The last time I wrote down my answers was in 2015; you can read them here. I did the questionnaire again this time without looking at my previous efforts. It’s fascinating to see what has changed and what hasn’t over the last 8 years. I recognize the person who wrote the old answers, but she ain’t me — you know? I can only imagine who she’ll be in another 10 years.

If this sounds like fun, you should follow along at home and write everything down. It’s like a time capsule only much less work-intensive.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Sitting in my garden with a good book and a cold Diet Coke.

2. What is your greatest fear? Dying with regrets about things I wish I’d had the time or courage to do.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Selfishness

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Selfishness.

5. Which living person do you most admire? Nobody famous. I don’t believe in heroes. I admire people who are living life true to themselves and with kindness for those around them.

6. What is your greatest extravagance? Buying books.

7. What is your current state of mind? Alternating between franticness (still adjusting to a post-pandemic pace of life) and gratitude.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I had to Google the seven virtues for this one, hah! Chastity, probably.

9. On what occasion do you lie? When necessary to avoid hurting someone’s feelings over something trivial.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? I wouldn’t say I dislike them, but I am most insecure about my teeth. North Americans’ obsession with blindingly white teeth is a disease.

11. Which living person do you most despise? Anyone who uses their power or privilege to oppress others. So, like, pick a billionaire or politician.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man? Kindness and curiosity.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Kindness and curiosity.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Actually, literally, like. I am a Valley Girl, apparently.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My husband and kids.

16. When and where were you happiest? At a macro level, right now. I’ve had lots of individual happy moments and memories in my life, but true contentment is a different beast.

17. Which talent would you most like to have? To be able to sing like Adele.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? To be more patient.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Learning to live with a grateful and curious frame of mind. It’s the key to contentment and a step towards living meaningfully.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? I hope I don’t. But if I do, something like a redwood on the Pacific Northwest coast.

21. Where would you most like to live? In principle, in a charming Georgian detached house somewhere in the English countryside. Having said that, I am not sure if actual country living – or England – is for me. I love my house and my city.

22. What is your most treasured possession? I’m a materialist who loves beautiful things. I love all my things and am deeply attached to them! But I am not sure if any single one of them has sentimental value above all the others.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Being forced to live contrary to your values.

24. What is your favourite occupation? Reading.

25. What is your most marked characteristic? Over analyzing everything.

26. What do you most value in friends? Loyalty and kindness.

27. Who are your favourite writers? Jorge Luis Borges, Umberto Eco, Alain de Botton, Milan Kundera, Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, Anthony Trollope.

28. Who is your hero of fiction? Honestly? Probably Jane Marple. I am nosy AF — invite me to all the mysterious goings-on and let me bring my popcorn. And an older woman running (mental) circles around EVERYbody? Yes!

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Madame de Sevigne. Inveterate and witty letter writer who loved gossip and had a front seat to her era’s greatest show (the court of Louis XIV).

30. Who are your heroes in real life? My parents.

31. What are your favourite names? Luka and Theodora, obviously – my kids’ names. I also like Nicholas, Leo, Iris, and Alice.

32. What is it that you most dislike? Late-stage capitalism.

33. What is your greatest regret? I have no real regrets, other than wishing I’d had more time with loved ones who have died. Every choice and decision I’ve made in my life has led me to where I am today and I am content to be here.

34. How would you like to die? When I feel ready, in my sleep.

35. What is your motto? Live in discovery.

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