Month: November 2023

What I Wore: November 2023, part one

Details: Ralph Lauren turtleneck & coat, Cotton Ginny belt, Modern Vice shoes (all secondhand), Banana Republic jeans (retail)

Thoughts: I had been meaning to wear this coat much earlier in the season, and various factors conspired against me. But when the opportunity finally came, I’m glad I went with an out-of-the-box pairing because I really like how well the striped turtleneck works here with the southwestern pattern of the coat. Surprisingly well, in fact. Southwestern patterns can sometimes feel a bit challenging to mix (I usually stick to solid colours) but this is a good reminder that they pair well with other geometric prints.

Details: Selected Femme sweater (retail), Escada blazer (thrift), Ralph Lauren skirt (swap), Chie Mihara shoes (thrift)

Thoughts: Remember my “villain colours”, green and purple? Here is a subtle version of that, with navy as a grounding neutral. It still feels badass, without any overt Joker vibes. Black wouldn’t have worked here; it would have “deadened” the other colours, which are relatively muted. Actually, I am wearing black shoes (because I don’t have any navy ones), but they are a relatively minor element here so my point still stands. Short skirt with long jacket is one of my tried-and-true outfit formulas; I enjoy these specific proportions a lot, provided that opaque tights are also involved. I think it’s because the tights helped to elongated the vertical line and, as someone with short legs, I appreciate that.

Details: Ralph Lauren turtleneck, Woolrich vest, Roolee dress, BR belt (all thrifted), Laredo boots (consignment)

Thoughts: Another successful pattern-mixing experiment, if I do say so myself. The vest and the dress were easy choices; in fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve worn them together before. I was initially stumped trying to select the 3rd piece; cream or black seemed too obvious and I wanted something more interesting. Finally, I thought to try the striped turtleneck, mostly because it has the same colours as the vest. And, lo and behold, it worked. Again. This turtleneck is proving to be a revelation.

Details: Toni T dickie, Everlane sweater, Gap jacket, Oak & Fort jeans (all thrifted), Coach bag (swap), Mia shoes (retail)

Thoughts: In some ways, this is a very simple outfit. We might even say it’s minimalist — for me, anyway. But I find it very satisfying despite its simplicity, and I think that’s because of the colour palette. Black and brown has been my favourite combo this season. Denim and a little pop of white add crispness.

Details: Talbots sweater, Malorie Urbanovich skirt (both thrifted), Stella & Dot necklace & bracelet (both Poshmark)

Thoughts: Another very autumnal outfit, and while it’s not my go-to colour palette at all, I enjoyed it a lot. It does get me thinking whether it’s time to part with this skirt, though. Objectively, it’s great. Great texture, great cut, nice details (I love the leather waistband and deep front pockets, plus it has a functional zipper all the way down the back). But the colour is not among my preferred shades of green; I think I look better in brighter, more jewel-toned greens. It might be why I haven’t worn this skirt very often in the last year or two. It’s hard to part with things I still like but not on me because … well, I still do like them. I may need to find this one a home with a friend I know will love it as much as I do.

Details: Mexx shirt, Ralph Lauren belt (both Poshmark), Twik pants (thrift), Chloe shoes (gift)

Thoughts: This outfit turned out to have a somewhat cowboy-esque flavour, and that wasn’t intentional. In retrospect, I should have picked a different belt to avoid that. This goes to show you how much impact a single accessory can have. But I’m not that mad about it., because I still like the outfit regardless. The shirt is the statement piece here, but don’t overlook those pants. They’re shaping up to be a real wardrobe staple. Watch this space and you will be seeing them quite a bit …

Shopping Math

I’m sure that, by now, everyone’s heard about boy/girl math, such being the nature of viral trends. So I wanna talk today about another kind of arithmetic.

Adina’s Shopping Math.

Now, you may be wondering, “does math even come into Adina’s shopping?!” and, if so, you are forgiven. I am very fortunate when it comes to my closet. (And my life in general.) I have all the clothes I need, and plenty more besides. With patience and some thrifting luck, I’ve been able to get most of the things my heart has desired over the years. And when it comes to the things I love — whether it’s clothes, or books, or home décor — I don’t hesitate to “indulge” myself year-round, not just for special occasions. But there are limits to my “guilt-free” spending. Price caps, if you will. Actually, I’ve taken to calling these “no math limits”. So, you see, math does come into it.

[Pause here for an important sidebar. I hate using the terms “indulge” and “guilt” (or “guilt-free”) almost as much as I hate the term “investment” in this context, but they are basically the shorthand that we have all been conditioned to use when speaking about personal discretionary spending. This terminology comes loaded with baggage — implicit value judgments and connotations that can contribute to a dysfunctional or toxic relationship with money and material possessions. That’s why I am making a conscious effort to reframe the way I talk about this topic.]

What is a “no math limit”? Basically, it’s a price point below which I will purchase things without engaging in any higher value math. More on that later. I don’t have a single universal “no math limit”; it depends on the category and type of purchase involved. And “no math limits” only apply to certain categories in the first place, specifically the ones that represent the things I’m most passionate about — as noted above, clothes, books, art/crafts and home décor. Discretionary purchases outside of those categories always involve higher value math.

I think it helps to illustrate what I’m talking about by using hard numbers, but please don’t get hung up on the specific figures; they’re personal to me and in no way intended as a prescriptive guide for anyone else.

In general, I will buy any one item (from one of the above categories) if it’s $20 or less without giving it much thought beyond “do I like it/want to read it/make something with it”. That’s a “no math limit”. With clothing, if it’s an item I REALLY want and have been searching for a while — say, a specific vintage Ralph Lauren piece — then my “no math limit” is around $100. Furniture is also an outlier, in that, if it’s a piece that my husband and I both agree we like, the “no math limit” is somewhere in the region of $250.

But what if an item I’m considering for purchase doesn’t have a “no math limit” or exceeds the applicable “no math limit”?

In approaching the decision whether to buy something or not, my goal is to avoid engaging a scarcity mindset. Before I go on to explain, let me pause here again and note that I am writing this from the perspective of someone with generous disposable income, who is not dealing with financial insecurity. When I talk about scarcity mindset in this context, it is not actual scarcity that is the issue; it is the feeling or belief that one “doesn’t have enough” or doesn’t feel “secure” about what they have, without a rational basis for that belief (in other words, the person is actually financially secure and able to meet their basic needs and more). In a lot of people who experience it — myself included — scarcity mindset can be an expression of past (financial or other) trauma. In my case, having my entire life uprooted twice in a short span of time (at age 12 and 15) and experiencing a measure of financial hardship as a result, meant that it took me years to feel “secure” — not just financially, but in a lot of different ways.

It is also worth pointing out that capitalism encourages a scarcity mindset even outside of any personal trauma. Despite the overabundance of stuff being produced all the time, people are made to feel like they are constantly in danger of “missing out”, that there is always more that they need all the time — more money, more stuff, more experiences.

As I have become more aware of this mindset over the years, I have been actively trying to disrupt its manifestation in my behaviour and the decisions I make — whether it’s something as minor as buying a new coat, or as fundamental as how I want to design my life.

Ok, so what does that look like?

Well, when it comes to buying a (discretionary) item without or outside a “no math limit”, here are the questions I ask myself to avoid approaching the decision from a scarcity mindset:

(1) can I afford it?

(2) is the enjoyment that the item would bring me represent the best value I can get right now from the money it takes to acquire that thing?

(3) does the enjoyment of the item outweigh the cost of owning it?

This is what I’m calling “higher value math”. (See, I told you I would bring this full circle).

Let’s break this down quickly.

The first question is table stakes stuff. When I am deciding whether I can afford something, I mean specifically whether it’s within my budget for discretionary spending. That means (a) I have the money in the bank and don’t need to rely on credit; (b) that money is available after all other budget line items (including savings) have been met. I call this table stakes stuff, but it’s actually also a reflection of personal priorities; financial security is important to me.

The second question is fairly self-evident; money is a finite resource, we want to get the most bang for our buck. What represents the “most bang” is a deeply subjective assessment that is fundamentally rooted in one’s own value system. There are many things that money can buy, and not all of those things will be equally meaningful to us. Things can also be more or less meaningful at different times in our lives, and in comparison to other things we already possess.

As for the third question, you might be wondering “what is the cost of owning something, apart from its purchase price?” Well, some things require cleaning and maintenance, which can involve both time and effort as well as out-of-pocket costs. Other things merely require storage, but this, too, can come with cost implications. (Just ask my husband who’s had to built multiple libraries for me.) And there is an intangible cost too; taking responsibility for an item requires some measure of emotional bandwidth because we should care about the things we own.

For me, this higher value math has been extremely effective in guiding my shopping decisions. I think it’s important to mention that even if I decide not to buy something based on this analysis, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still want the thing. The point isn’t to nuke the desire. Framing my decision in this way just means that any pent-up desire isn’t left to fester. I am not “depriving” myself, or “giving up” something. I am affirming my values and priorities, while still appreciating the appeal of the thing. If, in a few months, the desire is still there, I can always run through the math again.

Let me be clear, though: the only way this works is if one has a very clear idea of one’s values and priorities. This sounds easy, but it’s actually one of the hardest parts of adulting. Capitalist society loves to tell us what our values and priorities should be and — no surprises here — those values and priorities usually align with the interests of those who own the means of production. Sometimes the messages are downright toxic (hello, hustle culture), sometimes they’re contradictory (just try being a working mother in this economy), but rarely are they actually reflective of who we actually are or how we want to live our lives. So we have to learn to tune them out. It’s hard because, well, we still have to engage with capitalist systems every day and they produce a never-ending cacophony. But without a firm understanding of one’s own values and priorities, higher value math is useless.

Here is an example of my higher value math in action, because I always feel like examples are useful even when they are intrinsically personal and, therefore, not necessarily reproducible.

This is a vintage Ralph Lauren skirt that I deeply, deeply, DEEPLY desire.

I think you can see that it suits my aesthetic and personal preferences down to a T. Collecting vintage Ralph Lauren pieces — and I use “collecting” deliberately here — is one of my current passions. The skirt is rare-ish but there are a few available on eBay, with list prices usually hovering around $600CAD — an amount that is available to me for discretionary spending, but far above my “no math” limit. I have, in fact, spent similar amounts on individual pieces of clothing in the past, though not recently (actually, at a time when my life and priorities looked quite different than they do now). Having considered the higher value math equation, I have chosen not to buy the skirt at this time.

I still love it. I am still keeping an eye on eBay listings, and actively looking for it on Poshmark. But this skirt isn’t going to give me the most enjoyment I can get, at this time, from $600. I have a lot of other skirts I love (which doesn’t make this one any less special, btw) and $600 could buy me a lot of, say, books or hours of treasure-hunting at the thrifts. Maybe some day the skirt will give me more enjoyment than those other things; maybe it won’t. Maybe I’ll stop loving it as much as I do right now. Maybe I’ll find it for a price that results in the high value math giving me a different answer. Hard to say. But, today, I am happy with my decision, regret-free, and FOMO-less.

And that’s some math I can really get behind.

What I Wore: October 2023, part four

Details: vintage sweater (thrifted), Banana Republic jeans, Mia shoes (both retail), Coach bag (eBay)

Thoughts: Doesn’t this sweater look like a classic Hudson’s Bay 4 stripe sweater? I’ve always loved that pattern. Well, it isn’t. It’s some random Manitoba brand label, and I’m pretty sure it’s some unholy acrylic blend but I don’t care because it’s chunky and cozy and *vibes*. I mean, just look at how good it looks with my mom’s old Coach bag and my trusty BR wide leg jeans. A perfect fall outfit.

Details: Ralph Lauren sweater (gift), Ralph Lauren blazer (thrift), DKNY skirt (Poshmark), Anne Marie Chagnon necklace (Poshmark), Zara boots (thrifted)

Thoughts: Here is my fave 90s skirt, and another 90s-inspired fit. I loved this so much. This is how I do minimalism: simple but with interesting details. Lots of textural contrast here too, which also helps make minimalist colour palettes more fun for me.

Details: Ralph Lauren blazer (Poshmark), Oak & Fort turtleneck & jeans (thrifted), Gap belt (thrifted), Mia shoes (retail), Coach bag (trade)

Thoughts: OK, this blazer. It’s so good right? When I saw it posted on Poshmark for under $50, I tell you — I squealed like an excited schoolgirl. Ralph Lauren pieces have seen more inflation on the resale market than my grocery store. It’s getting SO hard to find to good deals, and this … this is a GREAT deal. It’s exactly the kind of blazer I adore (wool, professor-chic), and it’s a plaid colourway I don’t have. The colours are fantastic and those real suede elbow patches? Chef’s kiss. I wore this outfit to my kids’ parent-teacher meetings, so I kept things pretty simple, sticking with a brown/black/denim palette. I’ve been obsessed with black-and-brown this fall, and I think this outfit speaks for itself.

Details: Zara top, Jones NY blazer, Roksanda skirt (all thrifted), Chloe shoes (gift)

Thoughts: I wore this outfit on a rare day at the office. I tend to stick with a neutral palette when I go to the office. I don’t know why; our office had a relatively relaxed dress code even before the WFH/hybrid work schedules became a thing. I think it’s just what I still associate in my mind with “office wear”. I liked this outfit a lot (wouldn’t have worn it otherwise) but I’m glad it’s not my daily uniform. I like the freedom to dress a lot more creatively at home.

Details: Ralph Lauren sweater (gift), Silverado jacket (gift), Cotton Ginny belt (thrifted), BR jeans (retail), Chloe shoes (gift)

Thoughts: This outfit was made possible by 2 kind friends giving me things that weren’t working for them. The sweater and shoes came from J, and have been in almost-constant rotation since I got them. The cream cable knit, in particular, has turned into a cornerstone of my fall/winter wardrobe this year. It goes with nearly everything! The jacket came from S, and it is beyond fabulous. I love the pattern and the colours so much. It’s really more of a mid- to lightweight jacket, so best saved for warmer weather, but I couldn’t resist getting in at least one wear this year. When I tell you I’ve been imploring Mother Nature to hold off on the snow for now, you’ll understand why.

Details: Benetton sweater, Oak & Fort jeans, Converse shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: About 10 years ago, I bought my first pair of Chucks. I know because I recently came across the photo I took in the store that day on my IG feed. At the time, I debated between getting a grey pair and a red pair. Grey won out … but a decade later, I finally got my red pair too. To be honest, while I got lots of use out of my grey pair over the years (and I still have those shoes, by the way), red is SO much more my speed these days. The only problem? I am, ummm, sharing custody of these shoes with my daughter. Yes, we can basically wear the same shoes (there’s about a half size difference). On one hand, it’s fun. On the other hand … I’m a little scared, hahaha!

Details: Mexx shirt (Poshmark), American Apparel coat, Kimchi Blue pants, Asos boots (all thrifted), vintage bag (from my mom)

Thoughts: I had this vintage (made in Hong Kong!) Mexx shirt on my Poshmark watchlist for a long time before I finally decided to go for it. I’m glad I did; the collage-like pattern is so cool, and the colours — black, brown and yellow — are totally up my alley right now. I stuck with that theme, and added grey, bookending things with the jacket collar, bag and shoes in my fave shade of brown. A very satisfying outfit.