That sounds rather ominous, doesn’t it? Well, don’t worry. I come bearing no bad news — but, as will become apparently shortly, neither am I bearing a clickbaity title. I really did have a difficult decision to make last month.

I had to choose one outfit to encapsulate everything I want the world to know about me.

Ok, maybe not everything about me. Just about my personal style and my beliefs in the beauty and value of secondhand objects. No biggie.

One of the people I’ve been fortunate to meet thanks to social media is the super talented Emilie Iggiotti. Emilie is more than just a great photographer; I have admired her dedication to making women feel seen by capturing their inner light and truest essence in portraits for years. We ended up connecting IRL thanks to our mutual love of all things thrift (which, honestly, is how I’ve met most of my friends at this point) and, to make a long story short, that’s how I ended up with a difficult decision on my hands. To celebrate our local thrift community, Emilie organized a “Portraits of Thrifters” shoot, generously offering each participant the opportunity to have a (complimentary) photo taken in their best secondhand duds. I couldn’t pass that up!

Since 99% of my wardrobe is secondhand, you would think that choosing an outfit for the shoot would be relatively easy; I mean, I could close my eyes and pull out any garment from my closet with almost complete certainty that it would be a preloved item. That wasn’t the difficulty. The difficulty was deciding on an outfit … that would best represent me to the world. Emilie has a fairly large audience on social media (larger than mine, anyway) and I figured there was a chance that my photo might end up being showcased, in some fashion, on her accounts. I had no issues with that, but knowing that it might be seen by (a lot of) others did make it more important to me to choose the right outfit.

After much deliberation, I narrowed it down to two different vibes:

To be clear, the decision wasn’t down to these specific outfits, only the aesthetic. The Eclectic Bohemian and the Ralph Lauren Woman. Why? It was a combination of things. I felt each of these aesthetics was representative of a facet of my personal style that I currently enjoy a great deal; any outfit in either of these vibes would make me feel like “me”, and I think that feeling comfortable and confident is one of the key elements of a good portrait. I also thought that these aesthetics would translate well on camera, and look fun and dynamic. Initially, I was also quite set on using the black Issey Miyake skirt on the right, because it’s one of my favourite thrifted pieces ever, but I eventually decided to focus on the mood of the outfit more than its elements.

I threw up a quick poll on Instagram to help me in deciding between the 2 options … and it was no help at all. Opinion was split almost exactly down the middle. I had no choice but to put my thinking cap back on. Someone had made the good point that a tulle skirt would bring lots of drama; personally, I was strongly leaning towards a black skirt (we’ll come back to why in a moment). Lucky, then, the fact that I had recently hunted down a black tulle skirt on Poshmark. It felt like a sign. I took the skirt out and started to improvise.

And when I tell that the ideas came pouring out … they really did. I ended up with three outfits I absolutely LOVED; I could have come up with more but had to stop because I knew my decision was about to get even more difficult, not easier. But I will say this: the freedom of this exercise — picking an outfit for a photoshoot where I could be as “over the top” as I wanted — proved incredibly creatively stimulating. I want to keep some of that energy for every day, tbh. And I wish that our society loosened up a bit and stopped policing fashion norms enough to allow everyone to feel that they can wear anything that makes them feel good and seen, any time, anywhere. Imagine if we never had to hear “where are you going to wear that” ever again? That would be so nice.

Anyway, back to my difficult choice. Here’s the first outfit I put together — a mash-up of the Historian and the Bohemian:

The main downside of this choice was wearing a wool blazer at the end of June. Can you say overheating?

This next outfit was a total tangent, but I fell in love with it anyway:

I just love the offbeat drama of it. I saw it almost as a palimpsest of my personal style, past overlaid with present. I feel like I need to find some gallery opening or avant-garde theatre show where I can wear this for real.

The last outfit is the one I had at the back of my mind from the beginning:

I think you can see, here, why it had to be a black skirt. This striped top drives this entire outfit — the black, red, and white palette was needed to make it come alive. This also gave me the chance to wear some of my favourite secondhand accessories, including the cowboy boots and the bolo tie.

So, what do you think: which outfit did I end up wearing for my photoshoot?

Details: Tahari blazer, Chicwish skirt, Le Chateau belt, Stuart Weitzman shoes (all secondhand)

Thoughts: I have been hunting for a black tulle skirt for a while. A specific black tulle skirt. This black tulle skirt. I have the same style in blush pink and love the design; for being fast fashion, the quality is decent. I wanted a dark coloured version (either black or dark grey) to complement the dark academia/goth side of my aesthetic. By lucky coincidence, around the same time that I finally snagged the skirt on Poshmark, I came across this vintage blazer at the thrifts, and I immediately knew that I needed to make this outfit happen. The cut of the blazer gives me Dior vibes with its beautifully tailored waist, so I knew it would be perfect for recreating a certain ad campaign, featuring Jennifer Lawrence, that has been living rent-free in my head for the last 5 or 6 years. I added a belt to emphasize the silhouette, but kept the rest of the outfit very simple. Maybe next time, I’ll try it with a tie.

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, Pilcro sweater, Mexx skirt, Fossil belt, Chloe shoes, Tignanello bag (all secondhand)

Thoughts: I finally did it. I went full preppie. And I felt glorious in this outfit. For a few brief hours, I had the confidence of a woman named Muffy or Bunny, considered taking up tennis, and pondered what I might name the family’s hypothetical golden retriever. But then I came back down to earth, and decided to forego the tennis (my knees wouldn’t allow it) and the dog (ditto my husband’s allergies) and re-read True Prep instead. All joking aside, there is a lot to be said for this outfit. I wasn’t kidding when I told you that I felt great in it; it’s a perfect choice for a warm spring day — casual-but-polished, comfortable, breezy. It would look nice as a simple 2-piece outfit, but the sweater takes it into chic territory by adding a pop of contrasting colour (without overwhelming the light colour scheme) and a bit of texture. I am now a devoted fan of the sweater-tied-around-the-shoulders as an accessory. Think of it as a heavier scarf. Love!

Details: Ardene top (retail), Prairie Trail Goods cardigan (swap), Ralph Lauren skirt (eBay), vintage belt, vintage cowboy boots (both thrifted), MbMJ bag (swap)

Thoughts: I stole this entire outfit from my friend Josh of Prairie Trail Goods — parts of it, literally. Well, ok: maybe not stole, exactly. She did willingly swap the cardigan. I’m pretty sure she wore it to my clothing swap last year, which is probably when I fell in love with it, and she wore it with this skirt. Well, ok: not this exact skirt. But one just like it … which I proceeded to hunt down on eBay. And now look at me! I look almost as fabulous as she did. Who needs fashion magazines for inspo when you have stylish friends.

Details: Tahari shirt (thrifted), Pendleton blazer, Ralph Lauren belt (both Poshmark), Banana Republic jeans (retail), Coach bag (secondhand)

Thoughts: This might well have been my first proper attempt at a Canadian tuxedo lewk. Denim-on-denim always felt like too much denim for me in the past … and then I saw some menswear inspo on IG — pairing double denim with a wool blazer — and suddenly had to give it a try. Most of my plaid and check wool blazers are in storage at the moment, but I had this lighter-weight Pendleton one at hand, so I gave it a whirl, and you know what? I loved it. Planning to try a few more combinations before summer’s over … and then a few more come fall.

Details: Ungaro dress, vintage belt (both thrifted), Prairie Trail Goods vest

Thoughts: I don’t typically like to wear a lot of beige because the colour doesn’t do much for my complexion or my soul, but I will never part with this vintage Ungario wrap dress. The quality is so phenomenal, it would be a crime to do so. Some day, my daughter may appreciate it (and, as a brunette, will probably look smashing in it). The fabric is a heavy linen with a heavenly drape, and it falls so nicely — hugging the body without feeling suffocating in the summer. And I will say this for beige: it does make a nice canvas for statement pieces, like this beautiful vest made from upcycled quilt pieces by my super talented friend.

Details: Guess bodysuit, Zara blazer, American Eagle jeans, Mexx belt, Aldo shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: This Guess logo brings back a lot of memories from my 90s adolescence, which is why I ended up thrifting this bodysuit. At least I think it’s a bodysuit; it might also be a swimsuit (albeit one lacking any form of boob support whatsoever). The back is completely cut-out, which makes a topper a necessity for me. Luckily, this Zara blazer is a great match. I paired the combo with the American Eagle jeans I had thrifted for my daughter, who rejected them for reasons lost in teen-parent translation; I was originally going to exchange them, but then I tried them on and decided they were worth a little experimentation. They are not as wide leg as most of my other recently acquired denim, but they are also not straight-leg either. To me, they are, for lack of a better descriptor, very Gen Z coded … which intrigued me, not because I have any desire to chase the approval of the “youths”, but because it represents a step outside of my comfort zone as far as jean silhouettes go. There is a fine line between trying to “look younger” and trying out new styling ideas, and I think I managed to walk it with this outfit. All the while incorporating a bit of nostalgia.

After talking about purple frags last time, I felt fairly confident that my personal perfume collection was more or less complete. Hah! As soon as my hunt for the perfect iris perfume was over(ish), I became intrigued by a new note. No burying of the lede here: it’s rose.

I know what some of you are probably thinking.

Rose in perfumery? Groundbreaking.

And, yes, rose is as traditional a note as it gets. But my quest for a rose scent for my collection proved to be one of the most challenging yet. A rose by any other name might smell as sweet, but no two roses smell the same. And there are many different kinds of rose-forward scents out there. Some are fresh, some are heavy. Some are fruity, some are green. Some are soliflores (i.e. just rose), some are floral bouquets. I had not thought of myself as a huge fan of rose fragrances in the past; unaware of their diversity, I solely associated them with a certain type of scent, probably best described as a powdery rose soliflore, which never appealed to me. So what got me interested in roses now?

I fell in love with a tea.

Acquired Taste is a local shop that sells the most delicious and wonderful teas. On my last visit, a few months ago, I asked if they had a rose tea. I was feeling nostalgic; when I was little, my grandmother used to make me rose tea, to go along with my apricot jam toast, which came topped with fresh walnuts. I have tried for years, but have never managed to replicate that particular gustatory delight. No store-bought apricot jam has ever tasted like my grandmother’s homemade version, and no rose tea I’ve tried was as flavourful and sweet as I remember hers. Well, until I tried Acquired Taste’s River Valley Rose black tea blend. With my usual 2 packets of Splenda, it tastes just like rose Turkish delight – another one of my childhood favourites. (The real thing, not the Western candy.) It’s a delicate flavour but also full-bodied somehow. A strong, fragrant, jammy rose.

I decided I HAD to have the scent version of it.

And so my quest began.

The challenge of it became quickly evident; as I mentioned, there are a lot of rose-forward perfumes out there and people’s perceptions of what constitutes a “jammy” rose vary wildly. I searched endless posts on Reddit, making notes of dozens of perfumes, only to write them off again after cross-checking their reviews on Fragrantica and Parfumo. Other than the obviously-titled Rose Jam by Lush, there seemed to be very little consensus. I put that one on the back burner, waiting for the opportunity to try it out the next time I made a visit to West Edmonton Mall, and decided to keep looking. The testing I was able to do in person yielded one possible contender: Issey Miyake’s L’Eay d’Issey Rose Rose. It’s a very rosy, fruity-sweet fragrance, but I wasn’t sure if it was “the one”. So I kept looking … and, in the process, “the one” became, ermmm, several.

Ooops.

But no regrets! Which is saying something, considering we are talking about, yes, blind buys. Don’t do this at home, friends — or, if you do, proceed with caution.

My first blind buy ended up being Elizabeth & James Nirvana Rose. I found a 10 ml rollerball on Poshmark for $25CAD shipped, and decided to go for it for a couple of reasons. One, it’s a perfume that has a lot of devoted fans even though it’s been discontinued for a while now. Two, and more importantly, it was described as a “gothic” rose – think, the kind of perfume that Cathy of Wuthering Heights might wear. This piqued my interest even though (a) it’s not the jammy rose I’d been searching for, and (b) I hate Wuthering Heights. Well, I hate the book; I actually kinda love the aesthetic. Anyway, that’s how I ended up with Nirvana Rose. Here are my impressions:

At the top, it’s a green, dry rose with a slight hint of incense. The dryness probably comes from the geranium note. This was not quite what I was expecting; the opening leans quite unisex to me. But in a few minutes, the rose blooms and becomes quite photorealistic – delicate and fresh. Over the next hour or so, it grows into a full-bodied, smoky sweetness, though I wouldn’t necessarily call it jammy. I do think of it as a dark red, velvety rose more so than a pink, fluffy rose. I can understand why it would evoke gothic romance vibes. I would say that after a couple of hours, it begins to fade back to the opening green, dry scent and that’s what ultimately lingers – the vetiver note. I accidentally sprayed a bit on my clothes, and that’s all I could smell for the next couple of days. It’s quite a masculine dry-down.

Although this was NOT the rose I had in mind when I started my quest, it’s a perfume I am very happy to have in my collection. Perfect for rainy days when I want to lean into my dramatic side. Hey, I’m a Leo with a Taurus Rising sign, I can’t help it!

My second blind buy was a real shot in the dark. One of my favourite things to do, when it comes to my perfume hobby, is to discover overlooked gems – inexpensive perfumes that deliver a beautifully crafted scent. Some aren’t especially overlooked, like Lolita Lempicka; lots of people love it and it’s talked about quite a bit, and you can buy a 30 ml bottle for $20 at Shoppers Drugmart. It has become one of my faves, and I don’t care if doesn’t carry the designer cachet of, say, Tom Ford or Maison Francis Kurkdjian. Anyway, when it comes to finding these little treasures, I like going as obscure as I can. Iris Noir taught me how well that can pay off. Which I why I took a gamble on a perfume called Velvet. The brand? Avon. Yeah, that Avon. I paid $39 for a 100 ml bottle on Poshmark and, let me tell you, I don’t regret a penny.

First impressions: a rich, boozy rose. Love it! It quickly settles into something quite jammy, though it’s definitely more velvety than juicy. Dark and slightly fruity (it has top notes of fig, pomegranate and raspberry, but don’t expect any kind of fruit cocktail here), with just a hint of smokiness and spice (patchouli, saffron, and musk are the base notes). Unlike many other perfumes, I find that the name and bottle very accurately reflect the scent profile of the ‘juice’. Over time, the scent becomes less jammy, and more straightforwardly rose (less sweet, a bit more green). Longevity is decent, about 3 hours on skin.

My last rose blind-buy was a bit of an afterthought. I was ordering a couple of other perfumes on FragranceNet and needed to hit the $100 mark to qualify for free shipping, so I added a cheapie to my cart: Oscar de la Renta Rose. At $20 for 100 ml, I figured it was worth a shot.

I truly wasn’t sure whether this would be a very traditional, ladylike rose or a jammy rose, but I was very pleasantly surprised. To my nose, this smells very similar to Lush’s Rose Jam (which I had managed to sniff in the meantime) and it is, yes, jammy enough to make me happy. It is not dissimilar to Velvet, though I find it sweeter and lighter, without the smokiness — instead of patchouli, the base notes include white amber. Between Velvet and OdlR Rose, I am now set for jammy rose perfumes for a WHILE. In fact, I may never need to buy another one ever again. Which is a good thing, because the industry has a habit of discontinuing perfumes I like, and I am not a fan of proactively buying back-ups.

So, I thought my rose quest was complete, but then came a last minute plot twist. One of my IG followers reached out and kindly offered me a box of perfumes samples she wasn’t using; to my surprise, the box also included a full-size bottle. To say that I was ecstatic is not an overstatement: that bottle was the original Stella by Stella McCartney. Long discontinued, long mourned by the frag community.

Stella, along with Stella InTwo Peony, was one of the perfumes of my youth that I’ve been missing a lot. To be able to wear it again was such a wonderful gift, and I am beyond grateful to the person who made it possible. (I am paying it forward, because I always feel that gifts like this are part of a give-and-take with the universe.) I hesitate to talk much more about Stella, since it’s not a perfume that is currently accessible unless you are willing to spend a lot of money on eBay. But here are my impressions of it: it’s a beautifully blended rose, not jammy but not green either. It falls in the middle between Nirvana Rose, at the green, cold end of the rose spectrum, and ODLR Rose, at the jammy sweet end. It’s all rose petals, no green bits, no sharpness. Smooth and well-blended, soft without being powdery. Longevity is about average for rose scents, lasting about 3 hours on the skin before it begins to attenuate.

And that’s it — I promise! — for my rose perfume collection. Next time, we are going to talk about some other new discoveries, included some thrift finds. Yes, thrifted perfume. You will want to hear those stories 😉