I wouldn’t say that 36 was my favourite year. In fact, it was the year of my worst midlife crisis to date. [A misnomer, because I’ve had one at least once every 7 years or so since I turned 20.] Everyone talks about how, as a parent, the baby and toddler years are hard … and they are … but nobody tells you that, once you’re on the other side, the first thing you’re probably going to do is crash, HARD. It’s a perfect storm, really. You’re thinking to yourself “great, I made it, now I can focus more again on my career, my partner, myself” and you want to do ALL the things, except you’re burnt out as all hell and so is your partner (who’s been there, in the trenches, with you all along) and you’re both down to your last, frayed nerve. Luckily, in my case, my husband managed to hold it together while I had a minor implosion, and we got through the choppy waters eventually, and back to smoother sailing. [There was an extended Theseus’ ship / sailing metaphor in my chapter on marriage in the Memoir That Never Was, and it was REALLY good, and sometimes I’m sad that no one else will get to read it. Sorry, sidebar.]

Style-wise, 2016 was the early stage of an inflection point. [Do points have stages? LOL! moving on.] [God, this post is going to be 37% square brackets by the time I’m done. Welcome to my brain and its many tangents!] I started moving away from Anthro-flavoured whimsical preppy *vibes* towards … well, something that at the time wasn’t well-defined, but eventually morphed into corporate goth a couple of years later. We’ll get there! In 2016, things go a little less cutesy and fussy. I also started pivoting more towards designer clothing, where in the past, I had focused exclusively on designer bags and shoes. I was still shopping at consignment a lot, but thrifting was becoming a bigger focus in my life. It was a bumper year for amazing finds, including an EIGHT DOLLAR (authentic) Burberry trench. I miss those days … and I try not to think about all the amazing vintage stuff I missed out on, because I wasn’t looking for it then. Like, all the Ralph Lauren that must have slipped through my fingers, gahhhhh *cries in hindsight is 20/20*

What was I wearing? Glad you asked.

I had to include that (thrifted) Zara dress on the left because (a) it was pretty amazing, and (b) the closest thing to brown I had in my closet during that era. Let us not discuss the pants. Skinnies had an iron-grip on my soul at the time. The less we say about the atrocity of low-waisted pants, the better. Honestly, I can’t believe I walked around with my tops tucked into those things; it looks practically indecent now. I also can’t believe how long it took me to figure out I have a long torso because, hello? Look at that picture on the right. I’m 5’7 and 5 feet of that is torso. Other things you can quickly tell from these outfits: I liked big bags (and I cannot lie) and wearing colourful shoes for “a pop of colour”. I still have the blue suede J. Crew pumps from the outfit on the left. That and the bags, plus the J. Crew blazer on the right, are the only pieces I still have in my closet today. I sometimes regret letting go of the Zara dress, but in fairness, it’s not the right length for me now, anyway.

Now let’s see how 2025 Adina would style something similar:

Picked my current fave brown-patterned dress, and you can quickly see what I mean about the length; I’m all about the midi/maxi these days. I’m also in a different place with my accessories; smaller bags, more neutral shoes. While I still love colour, I am wearing more monochromatic outfits than before, and making them visually interesting via layering and texture.

Casual stripes, but a totally different silhouette. I don’t hate the 2016 outfit; I still think it looks cute, if in a bit of a “hey, 2016 called and said hi” kind of way (thanks to those ultra skinny pants and, probably, the scarf). It had a really nice, subdued colour palette. So does the current outfit on the right, though it reflects my shift away from black is my core wardrobe neutral.

Those 2016 pants really were a crime. Anyway, I wear much better ones now. The differences between the two outfits, in terms of basic items and styling, are quite minimal. There’s an extra layer (the sweater) and a belt, along with loafers instead of flats. But the vibes are totally different and that’s almost entirely down to proportions and silhouette. I know I sound like a broken record, but never underestimate the power of those things when it comes to styling. It’s what often makes the difference between “wearing clothes” and “wearing an outfit”, so if the latter is your goal, play around with proportions and find what works for you.

Details: Free People sweater, vintage jacket, Ralph Lauren skirt (all secondhand), Mia shoes (retail)

Thoughts: Listen, I need another skirt like I need a headache BUT … this skirt was an offer I couldn’t refuse, okay? Vintage Ralph Lauren skirts have me in a chokehold, as do wool blanket skirts, so you put those things together and slap a $40 price on the thing, and I am going to add to cart. And also: just look at those colours! They’re sooooo good. Poshmark got me, and I regret nothing. The day I wore this outfit, four (4) different people stopped me to tell me my skirt was awesome. If that’s not a return on investment, I don’t know what is. [That’s just a figure of speech, kids. ROI does not apply to clothes, because clothes are not an investment. Though, to be fair, neither is the stock market currently. Ba-tum-tish!]

Details: Club Monaco sweater, Abound jacket, Auxiliary belt, Asos boots, Coach bag (all secondhand), Chepe dress (retail)

Thoughts: Winterized one of my fave summer dresses, hopefully for the last time this season. Never sleep on brown/black as a total banger of a colour combo, especially with some white and leopard in the mix. As someone who doesn’t love animal prints as a general rule, this feels very fresh and fun to me. I also loved the proportions of this outfit. Volume on top + volume on the bottom might seem like a lot of volume, but keeping the top part cropped, and adding a belt, keeps it all under control.

Details: Tommy Hilfiger shirt, Ralph Lauren vest, Ricki’s pants, Ferragamo shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: Just your basic Ralph Lauren cosplay in a brown and navy palette. What else is there to say? It ain’t broke, I ain’t fixing it.

Details: Banana Republic turtleneck, unlabeled tee, Old Navy cardigan, Babaton skirt (all thrifted), Dr. Martens shoes (Poshmark)

Thoughts: Elementary school art teacher meets the 90s in the closet … and they lived happily ever after. My daughter totally tried to steal this outfit, which you’ll either think is cute (I do!) or weird (boo!). I love the primary colour combo of blue and yellow. I guess that Van Gogh guy was onto something …

Details: H&M tee, Frank & Oak blazer, Calvin Klein jeans, Miz Mooz shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: Finally found some vintage, relaxed fit Calvins and I’m thrilled. Now, I can pretend to be an off-duty 90s model walking through an airport. IYKYK. And before you get too salty, I said “pretend”. The key thing is that the outfit evokes a vibe, and the vibe makes me feel good and confident. Other people can think I look like a hobbit coming off a 6-month hibernation, I don’t care. In my head, I’m a hobbit who looks like Linda Evangelista on her way to jump on a Paris-bound Concorde.

It’s hard to believe that we are only in April. This year has had 1,485 days already, most of them Mondays. If I were to give 2025 a motto, it would be “I Didn’t See That Coming” because, truly, this year is a Chaos Edition bingo game. I gave up trying to make sense of its rules, or predict what would happen next, sometime in early March and I am here to tell you that, while it has not made the ride any smoother, it hasn’t made it worse either. It’s a tough pill for a Type A person to swallow — we like to be proactive and think we have control over our lives — but I think in the long run, it will be another leap forward towards the Zen-ification of Adina.

Anyway, the thing about chaos is that it’s not necessarily all bad. At least a few of the things I didn’t see coming this year have been good … first and foremost, my book. After falling into a deep creative depression halfway through 2024, my future as a writer wasn’t looking particularly rosy. I felt completely adrift. It was not merely a crisis of creativity; it felt like a crisis of identity, because writing is a tremendously important part of who I am. Last fall, I came across a Georgia O’Keefe quote that resonated deeply: I have done nothing all summer but wait for myself to be myself again. I repeated it to myself a lot, as the fall stretched into winter, and I kept waiting and waiting. And then, suddenly and without warning, there I was — myself again. I started writing … and I didn’t stop. Pieces I didn’t know existed fell into place. As a creator, the most joyous experience is the feeling of synergy you get when you know you’ve found the perfect form of expression for something inside yourself that needs to find its way out into the world. It’s like being perfectly in tune — both with your own inner world, and the outside one. Getting yourself tuned to that frequency can feel incredibly difficult and frustrating; witness my months of trying and failing. Yet, once it happens, it feels as natural as breathing. But that doesn’t mean that creative synergy is a steady state. Sometimes, you have to accept letting it go … and simply hold on to the knowledge that it is not gone forever.

The good news is that I’m still very much in The Flow at the moment and — with all these past lessons in mind — committed to enjoying it to the fullest. I know I’ll miss it terribly when it goes away, so I’m making the most of it while I can. That involves rebalancing my priorities to make space in my life for writing. 2025 wasn’t going to be The Year I Write and Try to Publish a Book, but it is now. I have no idea what’s gonna happen next, but I’m taking each step forward with my usual intent: to live in discovery. Curious mind + humble heart.

Anyhooooo. Here’s what’s been happening lately. I finished my book and the major edits on it — all 135,000 words of it. Its current title is A Party to Murder. It’s a historical romance murder mystery in the tradition of Golden Era writers (Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, and Dorothy L. Sayers), set in the 1920s, and combining a classic English country house whodunnit with the lighthearted romantic elements of Georgette Heyer mystery novels. There are family secrets, quarrels, love triangles, and a large fortune at stake – for which at least one person is prepared to kill. And there is a butler (who didn’t do it). I posted a very, very general synopsis on IG, and one of my followers sent me this mock cover they designed based on the concept:

Isn’t it stunning! Credit to @shysnarrative on IG (and a HUGE thank you again).

I’ve sent my manuscript to a few beta readers, and the feedback I’ve received so far has been very encouraging. I have also started to pull together some resources to tackle what I think will be the next step in this journey, which is creating a query letter. For anyone who doesn’t know, a query letter is basically a pitch deck to sell your book (and yourself) to a literary agent who, in turn, can hopefully pitch it to a publishing house. While the idea of traditional publishing intimidates the heck out of me, I’ve decided that I’m going to put my big girl pants on and give it a shot. As a pragmatist, it’s hard for me to approach this with any significant degree of optimism — traditional publishing is a BRUTAL industry to break into and navigate, especially for new writers — but I am leveraging my current sense of synergy and leaning into the feeling of “this is the right thing, at the right time”. Worst case scenario, I’ll turn to other options to get my book out into the world, if this gambit fails to pan out.

In the meantime, I’m keeping myself pleasantly distracted (and procrastinating from the scary query letter business) by diving head-first into my second book. And it’s been a whole trip! If writing my first book felt a bit like a fever dream, writing this one feels like a fever dream on steroids. I must have learned a lot (without realizing it) while writing the previous story, because this one is coming together much, much faster. It’s practically pouring out … though, of course, I’ll find out later (during edits) if what’s coming out is actually any good, LOL! But, as before, I am LOVING the process and immersing myself in the world I’m creating. One of my fave comments from a beta reader mentioned how they loved the fact that I created characters that are very much stereotypes of the genre, but made them human and relatable. To me, that speaks to the fact that, in writing the story, I came to really care about each of my characters; I’m glad that comes out in the writing. I mention that because this is one of the reasons I enjoy the writing process so much — I am spending time with “people” who feel real and in whom I’m invested (I don’t love them all, but I have empathy for each one). The same is true for my second book, and I’m so excited to tell the story of a brand new cast of characters.

Well, almost brand new.

Because here’s another exciting thing: I’ve decided this is going to be a series. Each book is a standalone mystery, but they will be set in the same ‘universe’ and will feature some overlapping characters. In addition to book #2, I’ve got book #3 almost entirely plotted out; book #4 has a solid outline, and books #5 and 6 are at the conceptual stage. [Beyond that, TBD.] This has allowed me to lay some groundwork, starting with the first story, for future ones. For example, a throwaway reference in book #1 will serve as a starting point for book #5. [No spoilers!] I am having a lot of fun deciding which tropes — mystery and romance ones — I am going to explore (and, hopefully, explode a little bit) in each book. I have finally found a way to put 35+ years of reading experience to good use.

Well, that’s a sufficiently prolix update for now. If you’re a literary agent or know one (or know of one) or have any tips for begging asking them to notice you — or have any general words of wisdom or encouragement you want to share — please hit me up in the comments. And, until next time, stay creative!!