I’ve made little secret (especially on IG) of how much I’ve struggled with the query process, which is the first step in the traditional publishing journey. At the risk of indulging in a little bit of hyperbole, I would say that it’s a miracle I haven’t packed up writing altogether because of it. I recently had something of an epiphany about this when I realized that what was most soul-crushing to me about the process wasn’t even the constant rejection. [Although that hasn’t been a lot of fun, it’s at least good practice for a writer.] It was the fact that it made me feel like I had no control over my own writing journey.
Now, it goes without saying that, in life, control is often and mostly illusory. We don’t, and can’t, control nearly as much as we like to think. At the same time, having a sense of control – at least over some aspects of our lives, particularly the more meaningful ones – is necessary to our well-being. Without it, we risk falling into despair. Well, I do, anyway. With age, I’ve accepted that there are, indeed, many things I cannot control. My mom’s sudden death and my own brush with cancer were stark proof of that. But this has made it all the more important for me to feel in control of some things. Work-life balance was a big one. Another one should have been obvious to me, but wasn’t … until very recently.
My creative work is one of the things that gives me a sense of purpose. [Purpose, too, is fundamental to well-being, imo.] Writing is the core of my creative life. Ergo, to be happy, I need to feel that I have (some) control over my writing journey. That I am directing it, rather than being a largely passive participant. When I put it like that, it’s pretty obvious that I was always going to struggle with trad publishing. In that sphere, success is largely dictated by external forces – and that includes the definition of ‘success’. This, by the way, is not meant to denigrate trad publishing, or suggest that it’s not a viable and desirable path for many writers. It has pros and cons, which are very much determined by the individual writer’s goals, needs, and strengths.
In my case, I came to realize that there was a misalignment both in terms of goals and needs. I decided to pursue trad publishing for what was, for me, the wrong reason. I thought I wanted or needed professional validation of my worth as a writer. For someone with ‘authority’ to bless my writing, as it were. This is not, in and of itself, a bad goal or desire. Fundamentally, though, it’s not what I actually want to get out of publishing. [Not that I would not enjoy the ego boosting, but it’s not what really, truly matters the most to me.] I write because I love to write – not to have people praise my writing, not to make a pile of money. I want to publish so that other people have the opportunity to read what I write. To be a story-teller, one must tell stories to someone. But nothing more. Publishing, for me, is about finding my audience, not about winning at publishing.
And that brings me to the other key reason why trad publishing isn’t probably my best fit. Over 15 years of blogging, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that the content I love to make is, in relative terms, niche content. It doesn’t have a mass market appeal, but the people who appreciate it, REALLY appreciate it. I am not saying this in a self-deprecating way, or to invite compliments or consolation. Personally, I have learned to look at it as a value-neutral statement. [This required some doing, because in a capitalist society, mass market appeal is the highest good.] Actually, I like to think of myself as a person of niche tastes – which is a nice way of saying ‘oddball’, a term I am also prepared to own, thankyouverymuch – so it makes sense that my output as a creator and writer would be similarly niche. I am okay with this.
Trad publishing does not cater to niche interests and/or content. It is a business, operating within late-stage capitalism. Broadly speaking, it needs to sell as much as possible to as many people as possible. The growing popularity of self publishing has contributed to this dynamic, too. There is now more competition for audiences’ attention than ever, and trad publishing can’t afford to bet on anything except ‘sure things’. Self-publishing authors who are not answerable to shareholders can afford to take risks – i.e. create niche content – to an extent that trad publishers cannot.
I’ll confess that, when I first started writing A Party to Murder, I truly believed that it had mass market appeal. People love Agatha Christie, right? And people who love Agatha Christie (like me) are looking for similar books to branch out to, once they finish all the OGs. You see where I was going with that. Turns out, I probably overestimated the market for historical murder mysteries. By, like, a lot. Cozy mysteries are popular, but it seems more in the contemporary genre. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. I wrote the books I wrote. Also, and very importantly, having written them and then re-read them, months later, I still love them. I still think they’re fun and funny and entertaining – to the right (niche) audience. And I still want to put them out into the world, even if no one else is willing to help me do it.
So, yeah: self-publishing.
A Party to Murder, hopefully coming to an Amazon near you in January 2026. Eek!!!
Now that I’ve blathered on about how I realized that self publishing was my answer all along, let me also throw a bucket of cold water all over myself. One of the reasons why I didn’t pursue that route in the first place is because it’s bloody hard. The practical realities of it don’t align as well with my strengths as trad publishing does. I know nothing about how to get a book physically ready for publication, cover design, marketing, etc. etc. etc. I have zero budget to hire professionals to help me along (at least for the time being), so I now have to figure it out on my own. I’ve got my husband in my corner, and he’s far more savvy with some of this stuff than I am, which will be a huge help. But overall, while the end goal and overall direction of self-publishing fits my needs, the process doesn’t fit my strengths. It will be a challenge, no less than querying … but with one key difference.
I will be in control of the process.
I might fall on my face, but at least it will be my doing. And I will try very, very hard not to.
I should probably stop now because, wow, this is a long time to navel-gaze, but I’m going to be cheeky and close this post with an ask.
I need a favour.
If you have enjoyed my content over the years, I would really, really appreciate your help in getting A Party to Murder to connect with its audience. Millions of books get (self)published every year, which means that getting eyes –and especially the right eyes – on your book is extremely difficult. Positive word of mouth and reviews, especially in advance of publication, help a TON. As do pre-orders, which help push a book higher in Amazon’s algorithm and, in turn, make it visible to more buyers. I am going to be writing more about this in the coming months but, for now, if you are interested in supporting me, please consider doing one or more of the following:
- Leave a comment to indicate if you would like to be added to my mailing list to receive updates on the book. I promise not to spam you (mostly because I will have absolutely no time to do so, lol). I will use the email address attached to the comment (which is only visible to me). Alternately, feel free to email me at bluecollarredlipstick(at) gmail (dot) com.
- Let me know if you would be interested in receiving an Advanced Reader Copy of A Party to Murder. For those not familiar with ARCs, their purpose is to generate advance word-of-mouth and reviews in preparation for publication. [Although, feedback on the book itself is always welcome.] So if you’re active on Goodreads or similar bookish spaces and would be inclined to share about the book (assuming you end up enjoying it, of course), please consider requesting an ARC. I am hoping to be in a position to send those out by late November.
- Follow my writing account on IG [murders_she_writes] and share my content with friends whenever it resonates.
OK, that’s it!! Thank you so much for reading this – and always – and I hope you will stick around for the rest of the journey.
