Looking Back, Not in Anger

The new year, new chapter … but today I’m feeling nostalgic, so let’s take a wander down memory lane instead and look back at some style snapshots of Januaries past. It’s fun to remember the people we used to be, right? Clothes tell those stories so vividly – especially when you’re someone like me who (a) has had a lot of clothes over the years, and (b) takes photos of those clothes nearly every day.

Let’s start by throwing it all the way back to January 2016, a decade ago. Ten years. How? No, don’t let me digress!

Did I even need to tell you this was 2016? Just look at those skinny, cropped cigarette pants. God, I lived in those between 2015-2017! I thought I looked great in them. And, listen: there’s nothing wrong with cigarette pants, per se. I’m sure the silhouette will come back in style sooner or later. The problem is that in 2016, we had not yet discovered high-rise pants. All of my skinny pants were also low rise – you can see this very, very clearly in these photos. And that was a problem for me because I have a super long torso and short legs. You can see how the waistband of the pants basically cuts my vertical line in half. It makes me look shorter and I don’t like that. In my head, I like to think I’m a willowy, tall person – not someone with a 28-inch inseam. Sigh.

Other things I loved in January 2016: colour-blocking, patterns, big bags, J. Crew. I’m pretty sure that half the pieces in these photos are J. Crew. I was working in private practice at the time, but hadn’t yet pivoted to a more client-facing role, so my office style was on the more casual side of business casual.

2016 ended up being a challenging year for me – probably the most challenging one of my 30s. I turned 36 that year and went through a kind of identity-slash-life crisis. This, I’ve since learned, is a not uncommon experience for women, specifically around the age of 35-36. I was “having it all” (big career, small babies, marriage, house, the whole nine yards) and not feeling particularly happy and trying to figure out why when society had assured me that I would. I figured myself out eventually, but it was rough going for a while. I think you can glimpse that in my outfits. I was playing things safe. And using bright colours to tell myself that I was fine and everything was fine. Just fine. Totally fine.

Ok, let’s fast forward 5 years to January 2021.

Jump scare, but in a good way? If you didn’t already know and I told you this was a different person from the previous set of photos, you’d probably believe me, wouldn’t you? And, actually, it’s kinda true. The person I was in January 2021 was very, very different from 2016 Adina. I had a different lifestyle, a different job, and a very different sense of myself. I turned 40 in August 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, so I was navigating a lot of changes, both internal and external. But the real quantum leap actually came later in 2021, starting with my mom’s sudden passing in April. In many ways, that became one of the key dividing lines in my life. Before and after. But the seeds of the person I became after were already germinating in January 2021.

You can see what I’m no longer dressing to “fit in”. I’m wearing things I like, and they were not bought at the mall. The silhouettes are doing what I want them to do. I look more confident. I felt more confident. Inhabiting my clothes, not cosplaying a version of myself palatable to the world.

Let’s jump again, 2 years, to January 2023.

This is a recognizable version of my current self, isn’t it? I was still in the middle of the transition that kicked off in 2021, but the blueprint was in place. Actually, this was another challenging period; in late 2022, I was diagnosed with DCIS, a form of non-invasive breast cancer, and underwent surgery (and, later, radiation). It kicked off another round of deep reflection and soul-searching, making me more committed than ever to living my best life on my own terms.

I still own and wear all of the pieces in these photos and would wear these exact outfits today. The middle one, in fact, remains one of my fave outfits of all time. It feels so authentic to who I am and how I want to show up in the world.

And, just for fun, let’s kick in back to last year: January 2025.

Needless to say, I still love all of these outfits. If I put them side-by-side with my current ones, it would be tough to date them. Strangely, this makes me feel like I’ve stopped aging – though not, of course, evolving. It’s just that the passage of time has been internalized now, rather than being a fully visible process. I’m sure that will change again as I move into my late 40s; my body, if not my style, is bound to change in visible ways again.

Hey, this was fun – and, as always, there were new nuggets of insights to be gleaned from the exercise. I recommend it! Old photos can be a helpful tool when it comes to reflecting on who and where we’ve been, who and where we are, and where we’re heading.

New year, new chapter.