Clothing swaps have been a constant in my life for a long time (as the title of this post suggests), and while I still enjoy hosting them, this year I was not able to devote as much time to my preparations as in the past. I had no theme picked out in advance, and I scrambled to get everything ready at the last minute. Life, man – it gets in the way of all the fun stuff. Anyway, I threw together a bunch of décor things I had around the house, bought some flowers and a bunch of cheeses at Costco, and called it a day. It’s never a wholly terrible party if there’s cheese, amirite? (I didn’t JUST serve cheese, but let’s be honest, it was the highlight.)

Besides, people don’t come to this sort of gathering for the food or the décor – they come for the clothes. And there were plenty of clothes to go around. This was just my batch:

The tower of shoes:

These photos are embarrassing when you consider how much of my own stuff I have been selling lately, but let me take this opportunity to make the same pledge I make (and break) every year: this is the last time I will have so much stuff to contribute to the swap. But, really, this is the year that promise will stick. I have a good feeling. Maybe.

As always, a good time and lots of laughs were had all around. There were tons of goodies, and it’s safe to say that no one went home empty-handed. Here are some of the clothes that were there for the taking:

I tried really hard to get these Frye boots on but it was no-go. Sad trombone. They found a good home, don’t worry.

My bestie got this awesome cape that matched her glasses.

My friend K got a bunch of gorgeous dresses including this slinky number.

My friend T found tons of colourful pieces to complement her bold style including this Ted Baker floral number that I (reluctantly) let go.

The lovely S (IG uincolour) found some real gems like these Anthro pieces that actually look great together.

Cassie (The Minuteglass) rocked this Moulinette Soeurs dress (and her pixie – jealous!)

Jenn (Life Preloved) was delighted with this Mackage jacket (and a To did For Tadashi Shoji sequin mini among other things including, ahem, a certain pair of boots).

My friends L and O — who somehow managed to avoid my photographic efforts – did not go home empty handed either. Miraculously, each of us found things that seemed like they had been meant for us all along.

Speaking of which, here’s a list of the stuff I took home – stay tuned for photos coming to a blog near you soon:

– DVF “Aurora” wool sheath dress
– Talula “shrunken Exeter” purple blazer (this is my fave style in a gorgeous colour)
– Zoa grey tie-waist shirt
– Vanessa Virginia teal cardigan
– Rebecca Minkoff green bag (yes!)
– Fluevog monkstrap pumps (yes!!)
– Tara Jarmon silk pleat pants
– Colorpop lipsticks

Have I convinced you yet that a clothing swap is a most fun and excellent idea? I hope so … and if you have already tried one yourself, tell me all about it.

Sequin Adventure

I appreciate the Rebecca Taylor aesthetic, even though it skews more “feminine” than my current style, so I rarely pass up their items at the thrift store. I found this bouclé jacket in impeccable condition, including the fringe/sequin trim, so it was kind of a given. I seem to have a knack for finding these types of jackets; it’s my second RT piece with this sort of Chanel-esque vibe. Anyway, it’s a teensy bit on the small side (tight in the shoulders) so it may end up in the Thrift Rats shop, but I could not resist giving it a whirl first. The sequins jingle every time I move my hands. It’s rather delightful.

These high-waisted culottes are my go-to piece to pair with cropped jackets, and they serve their purpose well. Here’s a better look at the blouse I wore under the jacket, because it’s another recent thrift score:

It’s a silk-front, dropped shoulder top from Theory. I can’t begin to tell you how luxurious it feels; not sure why, but cream silk always strikes me as particularly fancy. The back and sleeves are made out of some stretchy, soft, synthetic material, which makes the shirt also feel pretty comfy. Even considering the cowl neck (which I normally dislike), this blouse is a winner in my book. Until the inevitable, ineradicable spill that will eventually take it out of commission; you know it’s coming. Hopefully, by then, I will have gotten my money’s worth out of it – all $7 of it.

Lumberjack Chic

I know I sound like a broken record, but seriously: I am ALL about the chunky sweater. As soon as I laid my hand on this one, I knew I had to have it – without even looking at the label. It’s Athé, by the way, which I believe is Vanessa Bruno’s diffusion line. It’s made out of a wool-mohair-acrylic blend, and it’s just gorgeous. I love the muted colours, all on the cool spectrum (my fave). Paired with my ubiquitous faux leather leggings and black turtleneck, and it’s the perfect weekend uniform.

And how about those boots? These were love at first sight, much like me and Erik Killmonger in that museum scene in Black Panther. The brand is the now-defunct Arnold Churgin, who used to make its house label shoes in Italy and Brazil so the leather and quality is fantastic. I just love the details on these boots, and they are comfy as all get out.

Purple Crush

Velvet blazers are tricky. A lot of them can seem quite dated, depending on the design details, even though velvet is never really out of style. I think this Elie Tahari blazer skirts the line, but it was a risk nonetheless. A risk I could not resist taking on, because the quality was just so damn good. And that colour!

Can we talk about this bag for a minute:

As I mentioned a while back, Anthro bags and I are having a moment. This one was thrifted by my blogging friend Jenn (Life Preloved), who kindly agreed to let me have it as part of a swap – how nice is that? When I asked her if she thought it would suit me, she laughed. I mean, OK. Touché. The floral print; the cute closure; the tortoiseshell accents. YES AND YES AND YES.

If you’ve been reading this blog for more than a minute, then you’re probably familiar with my on-going struggle to properly, and fully, define my style. It feels like I’ve been at it for approximately eleventy million years, but maybe it was only two. Regardless, it has been going on way too long. As a result, while I love most of the individual pieces in my closet, I am vaguely dissatisfied with my wardrobe as a whole. And, still, too many of my outfits – which are, honestly, perfectly fine – end up making me feel like I’m missing my mark, sartorially speaking.

I was scrolling through Instagram recently I came across a picture on my “discover” page that made my heart leap. It was this one, courtesy of the official Oak & Fort account:

This is basically my dream outfit, here and now. It is a little on the too-casual side for my office, but its vibe could easily be adaptable to suit my pretty lenient dress code.

Gosh, I love it so much.

The muted, soft colours. The textures. The slouchiness that looks polished, not sloppy, somehow. The lines.

Love.

The problem … and you can probably guess where this is going … the problem is that only about, hmmm, 40% of my wardrobe falls in line with this style, whatever you want to call it. (Scandi minimalism?) The rest reflects my old style preferences – more feminine, fitted, bold. And they are pieces that I still love in an objective sense; they are perfectly lovely. Hence, my dilemma: what do I do?

There is a part of me who says: clear out everything that doesn’t work anymore, and start with a clean slate. I mean, I would still have more than enough clothes to get dressed for day-to-day, while in the process of adding new pieces to suit my current aesthetic. Lately, I have been getting better about sticking to that approach with new purchases anyway. And yet … there is a really strong, almost visceral, inner resistance to this idea.

Which I find really interesting, to be honest – especially now that it has dawned on me that maybe my reaction isn’t necessarily tied to the clothes themselves. Maybe what I am resisting is not the letting go of clothes, but of some previous version of myself. I mean, you can call that an epiphany.

(It makes sense, though. Clothes have been a huge aspect of my self-expression for almost a decade now.)

The last few years have been full of changes and upheavals. I think it’s hard to pinpoint a moment of “rebirth” as it is happening (change is a constant process), but perhaps this is one. I always thought moments like that would/should feel sort of … triumphant, I guess. So why does it all feel so uncertain right now? Why is it so hard to let go of things which used to bring me so much joy, but don’t as much now? It’s almost as if I don’t trust myself in this moment to know what I really want. What if I change my mind? What if I will regret giving up all these clothes I invested so much time in finding in the first place?

As I ponder what to do next, I would love to hear from you: have you gone through a big style shift, and if so, how did you manage the process?