It was a Dickens of a week.

(It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…)

Let’s begin with the worst because why not get it out of the way first? About 3 weeks ago, the most exciting thing to ever happen to me as a writer, umm, happened. I received my first full manuscript submission request. I have a post coming up next week that explains in more detail the query process and why a submission request is Kind of a Biggish Deal, but for now I’ll simply say that it represented my first opportunity to put my entire book in front of a literary agent. And it was an agent at a very well-established firm. I was thrilled!

And then a bunch of stuff happened (more on that next week) and I realized that I kinda, maybe made a very rookie ‘newbie writer’ mistake and, long story short, I finally got a response on my submission and the agent passed. Having gone through a rollercoaster of emotions over the previous 3 weeks, I had more or less resigned myself to that outcome, but it still stung. This actually happened last Friday, and I took the weekend to wallow.

I’ve learned that, for me, that’s an important part of the whole trying-to-get-published process. Rejection and ADHD don’t go well together, and pursuing traditional publishing is a rejection buffet for writers, so it takes a LOT of mental and emotional energy for me to push through and keep going. Spending a day (or two or three) being in my sad feelings about a rejection has been more helpful for me than trying to ignore or supress those feelings. I’ve been querying my book for 7 weeks now, and day by day it’s becoming a little bit easier to handle generic rejections; the downtime is decreasing. This was a more painful rejection than most, though, so I decided I deserved a little treat to take some of the sting out.

Little treats are also an important part of the process. Sometimes it’s ordering my fave grocery store cake, sometimes it’s a pedicure, sometimes it’s buying a book. This time, the little treat was a bit of a splurge. Ahem. I did something I’ve never done before: buy a piece of clothing from Anthropologie at regular full price. Whut?!? Yes. Yes, I did. I bought something at retail … not even on sale. It was a dress I had been eyeing for a few months, after seeing it pop up in my Insta feed, and something that fits me to a T, and is both versatile and easy to wear. You’ll see it next week, and then you’ll understand what I mean when I say that it was made for me.

Ok, now for the good times part of the post. There’s actually quite a few things to report. First, and in keeping with the theme, I’m happy to say that I received my second full manuscript submission request. Yay! I am keeping my expectations manageable, and my fingers crossed.

Last Friday, I met up with one of my thrifting buddies and we made a wonderful day of it – thrifting, lunching, catching up. So good for the soul – and I found some cute things too. Lately, I’ve been mostly buying housewares and accessories, not so much clothing. In the wake of the clothing swap, I did another closet edit and removed a couple of dozen pieces … and I still have a full closet. Clearly, I don’t need more clothes. I’m planning to write down some thoughts on closet editing soon, so stay tuned for that.

On Saturday, I went to the mall with my SIL (where I bought my dress) and we had a fun time pretending we were teenagers again. No, but seriously: why does it look like 1999 up in there? I’m not complaining, but it’s … disorienting.

Speaking of the 90s, this week I read Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves by Sophie Gilbert and it was SO GOOD!! Guys! If, like me, you came of age in the 90s and early 00s, and you’re interested in female-centric cultural commentary, you have to check out this book. I heard about it from Anne Helen Petersen’s podcast, Culture Study, who had the author as a guest on a recent episode. Give that a listen, it was also excellent, and it made me immediately go and order the book. 10/10

That’s a wrap for this week. Have an amazing weekend!

My annual clothing swap is one of the highlights of my social calendar and the official start of the summer season. This year was no exception, on either score. A fun time was had by all, on a gorgeous afternoon in my blooming garden. It was, in fact, a scorcher of a day; luckily, I’d put up the canopy again this year – not aesthetic, but very handy for extra shade. After 18 years, I’ve got the whole programming down to a science. The actual event, on the other hand, is always a delightful surprise.

Every year, the guest list is slightly different and so, of course, are the things we swap. This year, there were 11 of us – including one “swap newbie” and my daughter. My daughter started hanging out with us at swap a couple of years ago, but this was the first time she was a full participant in every sense; she brought her own things to swap and everything. As a sidebar, while I don’t include kids’ clothing specifically in my swaps, I always encourage my guests to pick up things for their (older) kids, if they see something they think might work. My daughter turns 12 this year, which might seem a bit young to participate in an adult clothing swap, but the reality is that she’s already 5’4 and wears the same shoe size as me; she fits right in, no pun intended. I can’t express how happy it makes me to see her embrace the secondhand ethos – thrifting with me, doing clothing swaps, etc. For her, this is simply ‘normal’ life, much as going to the mall was ‘normal’ for me when I was growing up. I don’t think I need to explain why I think this is a Very Cool Thing. I’m not the type of parent who pats herself on the back very often – the proof of whether I’m doing a good job is still years away, and it’ll be my kids who decide the final verdict – but this is one instance where I feel like I do deserve one.

(Further sidebar, but I also love to see my daughter confidently explore her personal style – without the hangups I had at her age – and I think that has a lot to do with her exposure to thrifting. I’ve always believed that shopping secondhand pushes/helps people to develop their own “eye” / point of view, rather than follow what others dictate is cool, interesting, etc.)

Ok, back to the swap. This year, I had about 5 bags of clothing and accessories to contribute to the swap. Going forward, I think I will have less. A couple of (interconnected) reasons for that: (1) my shopping has slowed down a lot; and (2) I’m buying with a narrower focus and doing less experimenting. This is a good thing, and an extension of my having reached a place where I’m happy/confident/comfortable in my own style. It will mean that I have less to contribute to future swaps, but that’s ok; I know that there will always be more than enough. Case in point: this year, even though I ended up picking up more pieces than I expected or intended, and even though everyone else took lots as well, we still had several bags’ worth of leftovers to be donated.

Let me digress again. Clothing swaps involve a tricky balance. You want to have enough supply so everyone can find something they love (and fit). Style being subjective, this means that for someone to end up with 3 pieces, you might need 10 pieces for them to choose from. Those are not exact numbers, by the way. But you get my point. It’s why I don’t limit the number of items people can bring to my swap; better to have extra, than not enough. It’s also why I save a lot of my unwanted clothing over the course of the year to bring to the swap so that, regardless of what others contribute, there is a good “baseline” of options. Obviously, I can’t do that in an extended size range, but I try my best. It’s something I might not be able to do in the future … but we will figure it out.

I came away from the swap with about 2 (very full) bags of stuff, for both me and my daughter. Here’s what I picked up:

I love picking up miscellaneous items because they can be just as fun, not to mention functional, as clothes. To wit, this year I got: skincare and hair products for curly/wavy hair (including a cool hairbrush). I’ve been on a journey to find my perfect wavy hair routine, and getting products for free is extremely convenient for that. I also got a trinket dish … and dontcha know, I collect Blue Mountain pottery. The book was for my husband, so he wouldn’t feel left out, LOL!

I also love picking up functional items, like: workout leggings (with pockets, which are a must for me), vintage bloomers (to wear under skirts), and socks.

Got two pairs of shoes. I’m obsessed with the loafers. I have been wanting a brown pair of loafers for ages – score! The J. Crew sandals were also a score for me; I’ve had the black version for 6+ years now, and still wear them non-stop every summer. It’s my fave style of sandals. It goes with everything. This silver pair is brand new.

Got some fun accessories: amazonite necklace, cute polymer clay earrings, a sweet locket, and a leather wrap belt.

These are the pieces my daughter chose for herself. She was very discriminating in her picks, and I love that for her. These are items that suit her style really well.

I got 2 swimsuits. I don’t swim often, but I still end up needing a swimsuit a few times a year. I hate buying new ones, so it’s handy to have a few options on hand. These were both brand new.

I got three tops, including 2 basics that will be good for summer, and a vintage Escada cardigan.

I got 2 pairs of pants, including the vintage Guess khakis. You know I can’t pass that up … much as I can’t pass up a pair of wide leg cropped jeans.

But my fave picks from the swap were these two skirts: vintage Laura Ashley plaid, and vintage Orvis floral. OBSESSED. I’ve worn the red skirt twice already. Can’t wait to do it again. Summer, here I come!

Alright, this has been an incredibly chaotic post … which is somehow appropriate because my clothing swaps are a bit chaotic, in the best way possible. We chat, we laugh, we try on clothes, we cheer each other on, we make a big ol’ mess – it’s like a girls’ slumber party in the middle of the afternoon, with snacks and “free” shopping and zero judgment.

Can’t wait to do it all again next year!

I’m thinking of switching up my weekly outfit posts and trying a slightly different format moving forward. I haven’t quite landed on what I want the new one to look like, so I might be trying a few options. These days, I don’t feel like I have much to say about my outfits apart from, like, “here’s something cute I wore and liked a lot.” Might turn the weekly round-up into a dumping ground for my Thoughts of the Week (similar to the Friday Feels post I put up on my writing account on IG), with bonus outfit photos for visual interest. In general, I am much less interested in fashion as a hobby these days — probably because I now have an all-consuming outlet for creative expression in my writing instead. But I would love to share more about my experiences with thrifting and what those have taught me about personal style. If that sounds intriguing to you, let me know.

Ok, now let’s look at some of my fave outfits from the past 6 (has it been 6?!?) weeks.

Hey, look at that: not me, still on the brown train. I can’t quit, I won’t quit. Not when it looks this good. Speaking of good, I am OBSESSED with that vintage Coach duffle bag. Hands down, one of my fave bags and quite possibly my best Poshmark buy of the year. I’ve been very, very picky lately — not just with Poshmark, but shopping in general — and focusing my energy (such as I had) and money on finding/buying special pieces, like this bag.

I am very into this vibe, whatever you want to call it. The dress in the middle is Ralph Lauren, and one of my fave recent thrift finds. I LOVE it. It’s silk and it fits like a dream and it’s everything I want in a dress. The outfit on the right was inspired by a vintage J. Crew ad. Need I say more? The skirt on the left is another current obsession. Pink isn’t a colour I normally gravitate toward, but I adore the style of this skirt, and I am working around/with the colour.

Case in point: see middle photo. Gosh, I loved that outfit so much! As you can tell, I’m still rocking the maxi skirts. Also still rocking what I now call my “subtle cowboy” vibe. The skirt on the left is an older Wilfred style that I’ve been hunting for years, and recently found at Red Pony, a local consignment store. I hate the fabric (it’s polyester not cotton, WTH Aritzia?!) but I am making it work because it’s nearly perfect in every other way. [It could stand to be a few inches longer, hence the petticoat.]

Last but not least, quick highlights of some of my other spring-to-summer moods. I’m LOVING men’s shorts at the moment. The relaxed preppy vibe, the comfort … 10/10, no notes. I’m also riding the summer goth train, especially after finally getting a pair of tall Dr. Martens boots. Photos to come — and you’ll want to see them, I promise!

See ya next week!