What I Wore: Mid-July 2020

Everyday Best

I will be the first to admit that I am the worst for saving my “good” clothes for “special” occasions. The pandemic has done a number on that concept, since there is nothing more special in my calendar these days than working from home with my own self, and the occasional thrift adventure. My “good” clothes have been languishing in my closet for months, but no more. I have to get over this hang-up and start wearing what I love best all the time. If that means wearing my beloved Issey Miyake skirt for a visit to Value Village, so be it. After all, that’s where I found the skirt to begin with so it’s quite fitting, in a way.

For said visit, I paired it with a crinkle-textured Anthropologie top in one of my favourite colours. I don’t often wear this aqua/turqouise shade, but I love it. I love it enough to get into arguments with people about whether it should be categorized as a blue or a green. I’m Team Blue, by the way. I will not be making any further statements on that at this time, kthanxbye.

ArcHiteCtuRaL

I was thinking about getting rid of this Sarah Pacini knit vest — can you imagine? I hadn’t worn it for a while, and evidently forgot how darn cool it is. It’s asymmetrical and the texture is bananas (and also impossible to capture in photos, natch). It lends itself so well to, ahem, architectural looks like this one, paired with a drapey, potato-sacky dress. I hate using that term in this context, but I can’t think of a better one, you know? It’s all … waves hands around vaguely … cool shapes and stuff. Yeah, that’s it. Architectural, baby.

Vintage Experiment

I decided to buy this vintage Donna Karan topper (jacket? shirt? dress? who knows) mostly because I have a weakness for quality workmanship – and this piece is exquisitely finished – and also can’t resist having a little bit of fashion history in my closet. It’s such a 90s throwback, isn’t it? I bought it without really knowing how I’d wear it, but I decided to give it a shot pairing it with 2 contemporary pieces — my favourite AllSaints ruffled blouse, and faux leather leggings. The top leans into the romantic, feminine vibe of the topper, but the leggings undercut the softness a bit. I like the contrast. I was going to pair it with a skirt, but I will save that for another time.

Always a Rainbow

Y’all know I can’t resist anything even remotely rainbow-adjacent in my closet, so I jumped on this Free People t-shirt. I am not a baseball tee kind of person, but I love the sleeves so much. For the first outfit, I went in a very unsurprising direction, pairing the top with my other “sporty” piece, this Phillip Lim skirt. Stripe on stripe action! It’s fun and casual and a bit cheeky. Maybe not what springs to mind when you think of me but, hey, I contain multitudes, okay?

LBD

Let’s be honest, this is more like something you’d expect me to wear, no? Black and midi length, and vaguely architectural. Does it look like something from a Japanese designer … or a robe you’d get in a hair salon? Hah! That’s the kind of sartorial weird zone I like to inhabit. The dress is actually Aritzia, though for the life of me, I can’t find this specific style online anywhere. I paired it with one of the recent additions to my Rafael Canada jewelry collection, which continues to grow at a steady pace. I really hope my daughter ends up being into brutalism at some point … She did inherit my magpie tendencies, so there’s hope.

What I Read: Summer 2020

Time for another round-up of my recent reads. I’ve been trying to keep track on Instagram, but haven’t been as diligent as I had hoped; so, there are a few missing (mostly mystery novels).

Moriarty– Alan Horowitz

This is a mystery novel that takes place after the “death” of Sherlock Holmes at the Reichenbach Falls, as two detectives – one from Scotland Yard, one from the Pinkerton agency in the US – race to stop a new criminal mastermind who is threatening to take over the empire left behind by Moriarty. Without giving too much away, there is a huge plot twist near the end which in retrospect is really obvious. It’s hiding in plain sight. I was still taken by surprise a bit, but didn’t find the reveal as mind-boggling as, say, that in the Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle (which remains one of the most unique mystery novels I have read in years). The plot itself is fine, if a bit – dare I say it – mundane.

Indigenous Writes – Chelsea Vowel

I loved this book so much, and it’s because the author has a fantastic voice. She is an academic, so she covers the topics here – everything you need to know about Indigenous rights and issues in Canada – with careful analysis and lots of footnots. But! Her writing is anything but dry and academic. It’s funny, and direct, and will have you hooked.

Glass Hotel – Emily St. John Mandel

I have a hard time trying to classify this book, or even try to explain what it’s about. I guess I would say it’s about a disparate group of characters and the ways in which their lives intersect and connect in different and unexpected ways over time. There is a Bernie Madoff-inspired subplot that takes up a good chunk of the narrative but it’s not, ultimately, central to the book except in terms of the broader themes and ideas that it serves to explore. Notwithstanding my inability to summarize it, I did enjoy the book a great deal and would whole-heartedly recommend it.

Difficult Women – Roxanne Gay

This was, no pun intended, a difficult read for me. Many of the short stories in this collection feature graphic descriptions of sexual violence, which are (for lack of a better word) triggering for me. I almost didn’t finish the book, several times. I persevered only because I did enjoy Gay’s voice tremendously, and I loved that all of the stories focus on “difficult” (complex, multi-faceted, some unlikable) women that are not always protagonists in mainstream lit.

Green Grass Running Water – Thomas King

This is a comic fantasy novel that reminded me a lot of Terry Pratchett in tone. The author is Indigenous, and the book provides exploration of contemporary Indigenous culture and narrative traditions. [Side note: I have seen the descriptor “Native American” used for this book; while I cannot speak for the author , the plot is set primarily in Canada so I am using what I believe is the preferred term here.] The plot is difficult to render in a short blurb, but it involves 4 mysterious Elders, the trickster Coyote, along with a bunch of other characters who are returning to their Blackfoot reserve in Alberta, Canada for the annual Sun Dance. The book is funny, irreverent, and lots of fun.

The Victorian House – Judith Flanders

The subtitle of this book is “Domestic Life from Childbirth to Death” which gives you a general sense of the content. It’s an exhaustive – and exhausting to think about – look at daily life of the middle- and upper-middle classes in the Victorian era. There is so much information here about every room of the typical Victorian house and its purpose and role in Victorian life, along with a look at the relevant social mores and customs. It was fascinating – one of my fave non-fiction books this year so far. It also made me thankful not to have lived in the Victorian era; its novels are all fine and good, but the reality was a bit of a nightmare, frankly.

Birdie – Tracey Lindberg

This was another difficult read for me. The best way I can describe the book is that it’s a story about a woman’s quest to reclaim herself from a history of trauma. The book jacket calls it “darkly comic and moving” and while I agree with the latter assessment, I did not find it comic at all. I struggled a lot with the non-linear narration and those parts of the book that deal with child abuse, sexual violence, and missing and murdered Indigenous women.

What a Library Means to a Woman – Sheila Liming

This is a far more scholarly book than my usual non-fiction reads. “Academic” isn’t usually my cup of tea – I like “infotainment” when it comes to my non-fiction. On the other hand, this book tackles one of my fave hobbies: the personal library. It’s not a book about collecting as much as it is about exploring the use of libraries as a tool of identity and self-making in the 19th and 20th centuries, using Edith Wharton as a kind of case study. It’s part literary biography, part academic theory. Not a light read, but an enlightening one for fellow bibliophiles and Edith Wharton fans.

Between the World and Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates

A powerful exploration of race in America told through first-person narrative in a kind of essay format (the book is framed as a letter to the author’s teenage son). As I did not grow up in North America – and only entered the education system here towards the end of high school – there are many gaps in my knowledge as it pertains to racial history; as a white woman, my lived experience has been far different than Ta-Nehisi Coates’. And it was the “lived experience” aspect of the book that I most connected with. It made me appreciate more than ever the importance of following/listening to diverse voices. It’s one thing to read about the history of oppression faced by Black people from a “neutral” standpoint (which is how most history books are presented to us); but it’s even more important, I think, to read about it from the perspective of those who are impacted by it – to listen to their stories as told by themselves, not others.

Flapper – Joshua Zeitz

This is a fun look at flapper culture in the 1920s. It covers every aspect, from its luminaries, to politics, fashion, advertising and beyond. There was a brief but very interesting discussion of race – black women were wholly excluded from the flapper narrative – and some of my other favourite parts were where the book discussed the birth of consumerist culture in America.

One Native Life – Richard Wagamese

This is a autobiography/memoir of Ojibway author Richard Wagamese who looks back on his life and reflects on his journey of reclaiming his Indigenous identify after growing up in foster care. Each short chapter offers a glimpse at various moments in this journey – from childhood memories (some quite traumatic) to memorable encounters with public figures like Pierre Trudeau and Muhammed Ali. My only quibble is that I wish each chapter had been longer, because I enjoyed following his story.

The Skin We’re In – Desmond Cole

As with Between the World and Me, this is a must-read for anyone doing their anti-racism homework and especially for Canadians who like to think that we don’t have any racism here (or less than the US). The book follows events that happened in 2017 which starkly illustrate Canada’s own problems with race, including policy brutality, and provides commentary on the root causes. The author is a journalist and activist who has been on the front lines of the Black Lives Matter movement in Toronto, and brings his personal experiences and perspectives to bear on these issues.

Is Gwyneth Paltrow Wrong About Everything – Timothy Caulfield

This book – written by a law professor from my alma mater – tackles the intersection of (pseudo)science and celebrity culture, although the emphasis ends up being more on the latter (somewhat to my disappointment). I found the first few chapters — looking at cleanses, fad diets, skin care and beauty treatments — the most interesting. Latter chapters that focused more on celebrity culture were less so, if only because it’s a topic that has been covered so many times before. Caulfield is clearly a student of pop culture, but his insights into celebrity-dom are not as incisive as, say, Anne Helen Petersen’s. I will say that whenever he’s riffing on Gwynnie — and she IS wrong about most things, it turns out — he’s on top of the game.

Eight Perfect Murders – Peter Swanson

This was a bit of a disappointment. I was excited by the premise – a series of murders inspired by a bookseller’s list of “perfect murder” classic mystery novels — but felt that the execution fell flat. I am as fond of the unreliable narrator device as anyone, but I did not think it was successfully deployed here. The way the twists were revealed robbed the story of its suspense, I felt. There was no “OMG!!!” moment; if you’re looking for that, you’re better off reading The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle (still one of the most inventive mystery novels I’ve read in the last decade).

On Beauty – Zadie Smith

I liked this book, but didn’t love it. I think Smith is a brilliant writer, but I hated every character in this book except Kiki, the matriarch of the Belsey clan. Her, I adored. I wish the whole book focused on her and did away with some of the other characters altogether – like her insufferable husband (a university professor who is the definition of middle-aged white guy midlife crisis) and his nemesis (right wing figurehead) who were both, frankly, despicable in different and similar ways. I’ve read reviews of the book that suggested Smith was inspired by E.M. Forster’s Howards End, which I haven’t read; maybe if I had, I would have gotten more out of On Beauty. As it was, I found the ending disappointing — it felt like nothing got resolved, or else I missed the point.

Life In a Medieval City — Frances Gies, Joseph Gies

The book jacket is selling this as a “research resources” for George R.R. Martin’s Game of Throne series, which I think is doing it a disservice. Forget dragons; this is a thorough look at life in the Middle Ages — specifically life in 1250 in the French city of Troyes. I am endlessly fascinated by these sorts of accounts, and this is no exception. I did find a few passages somewhat confounding. [Example: “To be a woman in the thirteenth century is much like being a woman in any age. Women are somewhat oppressed and exploited, as always, but as in any age, social status is the really important thing …” On one hand, I guess that last part is true. On the other hand, to suggest that the status of women in the 13th century is the same as in the 20th century, when this book was written, seems very weird to me.]

That’s it for me (for now), but I would love to hear about what you’re reading — and watching! – these days.

I Did A Thing: The One Where My Husband Cuts My Hair

So, after 10 years, two kids, and a slew of major house renovations, the biggest test of my marriage turned out to be something completely unforeseen. A haircut. Or, to be more precise, getting my husband to cut my hair.

We live in interesting times.**

Let me set the stage for you by mentioning that my last professional haircut was back in October 2019, at which time I got a long, asymmetrical pixie cut. I decided to forego my next appointment in December, mostly from laziness. Then I decided to skip past February, and wait until after a trip to Mexico to book my next haircut. By this point, I was raring to get it cut – and even experiment with colour! – but, of course, life had other plans. Skip ahead a few more months and we get to July; my hair was almost down to my shoulders and I had more or less resigned myself to growing it out until further notice. [See my disclaimer below regarding my reasons for not wanting to go to the hair salon. There were several personal considerations, mixed in with a healthy dose of laziness. Again.]

All fine and good. Except that what usually happens when I try to grow out my hair, well, happened again.

I remembered that I hate long hair on myself.

The thing is, in principle, I am ALL for long hair. I imagine myself with mermaid waves, Instagram-worthy tresses past my shoulder blades. “I will be one of those girls,” I whisper to myself. “Frolicking carefree in a lush meadow, with my beautiful long hair blowing gently in the breeze.” If I get really cocky, the words “Pre Raphaelite curls” might slip past my lips. Ah, but who are we kidding? I’ve never had the patience to do much more than the most rudimentary of curls on my straight-ish, fine, limp hair, and if I’ve yielded a curling wand, it’s always been with reluctance; nowadays, I have even less incentive than usual to try. The reality is that, almost every day since my hair grew long enough, it’s been up in a basic ponytail. Convenient in the summer but incredibly boring.

Now, my preferred hair length (on myself) is a short bob. A blunt, straight-across, grazing-the-chin bob. Preferably with equally blunt bangs. Like so:

For a visual reference, this was my hair situation as of early July:

As I struggled with my hair dilemma, an idea began to take shape.

What if … just what if … not saying definitely, but maybe … what if … my husband were to … you know … cut it?!

One day, I casually mentioned this idea to my dear spouse and he did not immediately recoil from it. Maybe he was feeling cocky; he’d been cutting our son’s hair during quarantine, with relative success. So, the idea took hold. Began to seem increasingly reasonable, in fact. My husband is an architect by training – surely, I reasoned, he can cut a straight line. No angles, no layers, nothing tricky to it.

Right?!

And this is how we found ourselves, one evening last week, in front of our bathroom mirror, contemplating our marriage’s greatest challenge: Operation Haircut.

Things didn’t get off to the best start. Almost immediately, my husband commented that he was surprised by how much hair I had. My hair is, indeed, fine but I have been repeatedly assured by my previous hair stylists that there is a LOT of it. I guess they weren’t lying. The “so much hair” bit became a constant refrain over the next hour and a half. At one point, my husband mentioned that he expected to have nightmares about “all this hair”. I am afraid my only retort was to assure him that the only nightmare would be the one on my head. We were not in the best of marital mindframes in that moment, I’m sure. But, we persevered – through sundry questionable stages (each worse than the previous) – until at last, we had a semblance of a straight line at more or less the correct length. I finally exhaled.

After a few more passes to touch up rough spots, not to mention my bangs (which I had butchered in an earlier attempt to cut them myself), we were ready to call it a night. I woke up with a few straggling hairs and a bit of unevenness on the underside at the back of my head, but honestly … not in bad shape, all things considered.

I mean, it’s not a professional cut, but it’s passable for the amount of time I spend in public settings these days. Check it out:

I’m not sure I would recommend this process (although it does make for an almost existential-level trust exercise if that’s something you’re interested in) but all is well that ends well. I have a cute haircut and, apparently, a new hair stylist. Luckily, he has not asked me to return the favour. There are limits to what even the most resilient of marriages can survive.

**I must caveat this post by saying that (a) hair salons are open in my city; (b) I don’t judge anyone who chooses to use their services at this time (assuming appropriate safety precautions are used by all involved). My choice not to go to my usual salon was the result of a number of personal circumstances, and it’s not my intent for it to be taken as a broad statement on the safety of visiting a hair salon at this stage of the pandemic. I believe such determinations are best left up to local public health officials (and I am specifically speaking to the Canadian experience, only).