Want to read more style confessions? Find them here, here, and here.

1. I’m a Judgy Judge Who Judges

Your style choices, that is.

Generally, I try to abide by a live-and-let-live philosophy: no judging people for any life choices that don’t directly impact others (without the latter’s consent). Basically, I’m like the ideal government. But, like the government, I’m not perfect. Sometimes, I judge.

Here are some of the things for which I will judge you (and your sartorial discernment):

  • Carrying a Michael Kors bag (extra judgment if it has that dangly MK medallion tag thing);
  • Enormous black-framed glasses (extra judgment if you have 20/20 vision)
  • Shooties (extra judgment if you refer to them as such)
  • Expensive t-shirts (extra judgment if they are grey, white, or black)
  • Aldo shoes (extra judgment if they have a 2-inch platform and you’re wearing them to work)
  • Instagramming your completely unremarkable brunch (extra judgment for every random object in the picture – lipstick, wallet, copy of The Goldfinch, Louboutins, etc.)

2. … And You Can Return the Favour

By judging mine, of course.

I have said before that I am, in many respects, a textbook “basic bitch”. Some of the things I like are deeply, inescapably trite. The sartorial equivalent of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. I am deeply at peace with this fact. (As I encourage you to be about your love of any items listed under #1 above).

Here are some things for which you can judge me:

  • Coveting a pair of Valentino Rockstuds (one day!)
  • Arm parties (when I remember)
  • Instagram selfies (I heart filters, and so do my wrinkles)
  • Matching all the colours (matchy matchy matchy)
  • J. Crew up the wazoo (hey, it rhymes!)

Ok, your turn: for what do you judge other people, and for what do you think you might be getting judged?

22 Comments on Style Confessions, vol. 4

  1. i love this post. i’m going to assume that my giant amber-brown glasses don’t offend you, especially because i desperately need them. good to know about the Michael Kors bag, because i always sorta want one. i also like ALDO shoes, but don’t have many pairs anymore. the ones i buy aren’t of the 2 inch platform variety anyway.

    i wiill, however, judge your future rockstuds. 😉

    • Hahaha! Please do 😉

      And “offend” isn’t the right word, exactly. I just roll my eyes at these things, for various reasons. I like your glasses, on you, because they seem … organic, rather than contrived, you know? My thing with these glasses, generally, is that they tend to be a hipster affectation, not actually a functional thing. I don’t think glasses are cool, per se (leftovers of my trauma as a four-eyed middle schooler), so I roll my eyes when people try to make them Into a trend.

      Tl;Dr lol!

  2. I judge people who carry Michael Kors too. Or if they wear super short skirts with very high heels.. or wear fake fur coats.

    As for Valentino rockstuds I am totally going to judge you for that HAHA 🙂 If you get them, that is. They’re everywhere in the blogosphere…

  3. I judge conspicuous labelling in general, but especially bags (since it’s the most common spot to find conspicuous labels). I’m also known to make snide internal remarks about over-blonde hair that clearly has no place in nature…

    I expect I’m getting judged for my terrible mommy style presently! I leave the house usually knowing my level of hot mess is way higher than my pre-baby self would have ever allowed.

  4. See I quite like the look of a navy Michael Kors but I don’t know why it’s bad so maybe that judgement has yet to cross the pond? Does the brand have questionable morals or is it considered chavvy? (Like check Burberry macs were over here before Christopher Bailey took the helm)

    I judge enormous cara de pan covering karen walker “sunnies”.

    EMPTY bags, you bet I judge those bitches so hard. Via their GOMI threads mind you as I’m not giving page clicks to those vacuous numpties.

    • Yeah, I think the MK mania probably hasn’t quite crossed the pond yet. It’s just incredibly over-exposed. The Burberry comparison is very apt. I predict the next brands to go that way will be Kate Spade and/or Tory Burch.

  5. I have to say that, sadly, I judge if folks aren’t dressed for the weather appropriately. It is minus 20 outside – why did you decide a hoodie and a mini-skirt were good clothing choices for today! I’m sure they’re judging me as I sit smugly on the train, bundled up to my eyebrows. I don’t like to be cold…and if that comes at the expense of fashion, so be it. I’d rather be warm.

    • I totally agree, and that reminds me … I probably get judged on my choice of commuter wear, or would if I lived somewhere other than Edmonton. It’s too darn cold for people to judge that stuff here, hehe!

  7. Oh man, I have 2 MK jet set chain shoulder bags, one black and one camel! They are my go-to’s when I don’t have the kiddies with me. (And yes, you may judge me for saying “oh man” too) Funnily enough I “judge” the overabundant amount of MK watches out there and the big logo TB and all over LV logo bags are too much for me too. Categorize me in the fashion hypocrite section?

    • Hey now, I say “oh man” too! Nothing wrong with that. (Is there?!) And you can join me in the fashion hypocrite section if you like – I own a couple of LV bags 😉

  8. In my hood the bag to carry is a coach. I’d say 70% of the women I know either carry or want to carry one….primarily the fabric tacky ones. Ugh. So ugly. I don’t get it.

    I’m with you on the rockstuds. Love.them.

    • I think I wrote a similar “rant” about Coach a few years ago, LOL! Although I love the vintage leather Coach bags from the 90s; the quality was great and they were classic without logos and such.

  9. Hi! New reader here, I am loving reading your posts. Please, don’t judge me on my black glasses- I wouldn’t be able to find my building without them- and I won’t judge you for the rockstuds. Besides, it’s the first pair of glasses that seems to look good on my face…

  10. Are you inside my head? Expensive Ts totally stump me. James Perse Ts especially, I look at them and think they look mishappen and droopy and stretched out, why do bloggers love these? I do wear black glasses though, and I’ve got 20/800 vision, but feel free to judge as I bought trendy glasses this time around. I spent years wearing the last pair that looked remarkabley dated and I figured hipster was good. I was wrong, because they look ridiculous on me.

    I was, at one time, all about the arm party. Then I realized that I was copying rather than being myself and really, I’m just not much for the multiple pieces. No judging, just knowing my style.

    And shooties. Damn the shooties. Ridiculous.

    • I’ll let you in on a little secret: my husband has 20/10 vision, and made me buy him hipster Rayban frames (with clear lenses) a few years ago (tortoiseshell not black, but only because he was going for a professorial vibe). I bought them for him, and then I judged him – not so silently 😉

      I love arm parties, but I rarely wear them these days. I forget. Plus, the kids start pulling at them, and meh. But I love a well-executed arm party.

      I really don’t get shooties. On the aesthetic or functional level. There may be a climate, somewhere, where shooties make practical sense, I suppose. But they’re still , um, not cute. Why cover up the entire foot, only to reveal its least attractive feature? (Disclaimer: I hate feet, especially toes. I think I’ve mentioned this before. Sorry, guys.)

  11. Hahhaa, I love this. I just came over here from Franish and am officially a fan 🙂 I’m with you on the MK handbags, shooties (when are they practical?!) and Aldo shoes. I have a Coach handbag I love (leather, no C’s) and I judge myself for it… along with a plethura of plaid scarfs, and occasionally wearing Uggs outside the house. *shudders*

    xoxo jenna @ sincerely jenna marie

    • Funnily enough (or not?) I don’t have a hate on for Uggs. I don’t have any, but they don’t bother me. They seem practical, at least.

      P.S. Welcome! And hope you enjoy the blog 🙂