Want to read more style confessions? Find them here, here, and here.
1. I’m a Judgy Judge Who Judges
Your style choices, that is.
Generally, I try to abide by a live-and-let-live philosophy: no judging people for any life choices that don’t directly impact others (without the latter’s consent). Basically, I’m like the ideal government. But, like the government, I’m not perfect. Sometimes, I judge.
Here are some of the things for which I will judge you (and your sartorial discernment):
- Carrying a Michael Kors bag (extra judgment if it has that dangly MK medallion tag thing);
- Enormous black-framed glasses (extra judgment if you have 20/20 vision)
- Shooties (extra judgment if you refer to them as such)
- Expensive t-shirts (extra judgment if they are grey, white, or black)
- Aldo shoes (extra judgment if they have a 2-inch platform and you’re wearing them to work)
- Instagramming your completely unremarkable brunch (extra judgment for every random object in the picture – lipstick, wallet, copy of The Goldfinch, Louboutins, etc.)
2. … And You Can Return the Favour
By judging mine, of course.
I have said before that I am, in many respects, a textbook “basic bitch”. Some of the things I like are deeply, inescapably trite. The sartorial equivalent of the Pumpkin Spice Latte. I am deeply at peace with this fact. (As I encourage you to be about your love of any items listed under #1 above).
Here are some things for which you can judge me:
- Coveting a pair of Valentino Rockstuds (one day!)
- Arm parties (when I remember)
- Instagram selfies (I heart filters, and so do my wrinkles)
- Matching all the colours (matchy matchy matchy)
- J. Crew up the wazoo (hey, it rhymes!)
Ok, your turn: for what do you judge other people, and for what do you think you might be getting judged?