It’s been a rough week, my friends. My thoughts about it are not all that coherent or eloquent, and I would normally keep them off the blog, but for reasons that will become apparent, I’m going to go ahead and share them.

So, in no particular order …

Over the last six months or so, the stress levels associated with the quotidian challenges of my life have been slowly creeping up. I’m not sure why that is (or why it’s happening now) but the impact has been manifesting in ways that are increasingly difficult for me to manage. I’m tired all the time; it’s a mental and emotional exhaustion as much as it is a physical one. It has left me in a place where even minor annoyances – or a bad news cycle, which seem increasingly routine these days – can feel like the proverbial last straw. It is not a good place.

Since last week, I have been following the Harvey Weinstein story (as reported in the NYT, New Yorker, and elsewhere). It has brought up a lot of feelings; their intensity took me by surprise. Living in the Trump era has desensitized me to many things, including things like this; or so I thought. Again, perhaps this was no more than a last straw. I believe all women have met at least one Harvey Weinstein in their lives, be it the personal or professional or both. I always thought I had a good handle on my own experiences; I’m starting to think that might be just something I told myself. A compromise. I wore my cynicism like a badge, not seeing it for what it was: complicity. Every time I didn’t speak up and smiled instead, hoping to disappear into the background, I was acquiescing in the status quo. With the guilt comes anger – anger for the fact that complicity felt like my only option. The public reaction to the Weinstein revelations has been no less emotionally taxing. There is so much more I could say about this, and want to say about this, but I’m going to leave it at that because this is not the place for it. And that’s a whole other story.

Earlier this week, my husband and I were subjected to a very troubling episode of online trolling/harassment which crossed into real life. It was not related to this blog. I hope that it has come to an end, and nothing more will come of it, but the whole experience was deeply upsetting. It has made me feel very vulnerable, particularly in relation to my online presence. It was, in its way, another last straw.

The fact is that I cannot continue with this blog right now. I have no emotional bandwidth left for it. It has been my passion and my creative outlet for over seven years, and it’s strange and a little scary to think of it not being a part of my life. It used to feel like a safe refuge; it doesn’t now. So, for now, I need a break.

I am not writing this to elicit your sympathy or comments. I appreciate that many of you have been following for a long time, and I believe you deserve a few words of explanation for my absence. I am going to miss your comments more than you know. I’m going to miss this corner of the internet — yeah, that’s hokey and I don’t care. Thank you for the community you helped to build. It’s not farewell; let’s just say … till next time.

80 Comments on A Few Words

  1. I have never commented before; however, I do want you to know I have very much enjoyed reading/viewing comments and pictures.
    That being said, I hope you find time to take care of yourself and return to posting when and if it is good for you and your family.

  2. I wish you and your family well. I hope you can heal and enjoy your time together. I’ve enjoyed reading your blog for the past few years, thank you. 🙂

  3. Thank you for your honesty Adina. I love your blog and read you every day. I wish you all the best! You were my inspiration to begin thrifting and I can’t thank you enough for that.

  4. Oh, Adina, I’m so sorry to hear of all that you have been going through. It’s especially upsetting for the online world to come into your everyday life in a bad way – I sincerely hope that the episode has come to an end.

    I’ll keep you on my bloglivin’ list and hope to see you pop up again in the future. In the meantime, I wish you all the best, take care.

  5. I’ve also never commented before but have been enjoying your blog and your creativity for some time. I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time right now – I wanted to say “this too shall pass”. Hang in there.

  6. Adina,
    I have not commented before but I have enjoyed following your life–fashion, book reviews, and lifestyle content. You will be missed, but I understand (and wholeheartedly agree) that the safety of you and your family must come first.
    Take care,
    Alice

  8. I love your blog so much, but I definitely understand the need to step away.

    I hope that you continue to do what is best for you and take care of yourself. We will all be waiting for you, if and when you decide to return.

    Best of luck in your next chapter sans blog!

  9. I totally understand the total exhaustion that the news cycle is causing. It really does seem like it one thing after another and I often feel helpless and overwhelmed. I hope your break from blogging is exactly what you need and we will be here when you decide to come back.

  10. Hi Adina, new commenter here but have been reading your blog since ~2014. I will miss reading your words in this space, but I’m glad you’re doing what you need to do for your own emotional / mental wellbeing.

  11. I’m another one who rarely comments but reads your blog daily. I’ll be a bit hokey too and say that your blog was a bright spot during a difficult period in my life that is now (thankfully!) over, and I will miss your wit and style.

    Be well and take care, and I hope we see you pop up again later on when the waters have calmed.

  12. I love your blog, writing, humor, and honesty. Please take care of yourself and I hope that life become easier and less taxing for you soon. I hope you take pride and comfort in how many Internet strangers appreciate you and come daily to this little corner of the Internet that you have fostered. We will be thinking of you and sending strength and good vibes even in your absence.

  13. So sorry to hear you’re going through a rough time. I wish you and your family all the best and hope things get better for you soon!
    Hugs,
    Lucia

  14. Be well Adina. The blog will be missed. It has been my morning ritual with coffee. Thank you for all you have given us.

  15. Thank you so much for taking pictures of your outfits every day for us – it is part of my morning routine. Thank you for all to things you have done for us, the work, the effort — all the unseen things we don’t know about. Please do take time for yourself to heal, rest, rejuvinate and rebuild. Everyone deserves time off right? I wish you the best. We’ll miss you ~ Lori S.

  16. Good morning:
    I have never left a comment, but I come to see you every day. Just so you know – you are part of my relief from everyday troubles and concerns. I will miss seeing you, but I respect you taking time for yourself.
    Take care of yourself

  17. Adina,

    I’m so sorry to hear that but sympathetic. I’ve dropped off from commenting for similar reasons – job stress, family problems, etc. I’ll miss reading and chatting with you. I hope things pick up soon and let me know if you ever drop by NYC.

  18. I’ve really enjoyed your blog for a while, but I’m glad you are going to get to have some time to recoup your energy. Thanks for all the posts and thoughts you’ve shared with us.

  19. Adina, I am so very sorry. BCRL has been an indispensable and cherished part of my day, and required near-daily reading. Your fluid, wry writing and your incredible eye for color and shape have brightened many a day (and resulted in many a copycat outfit). Wishing you and your family all the best; I hope the time off from the blog will allow you to recuperate from the stress and feel grounded and safe again. And I very much look forward to sharing mornings with you again if (or when) you return. Take good care.

  21. Sorry to see you’ve been going through some tough times Adina, wishing you and the family all the best. I’ll miss you but hopefully every now and then you’ll be on IG at least until such time as you have the headspace for coming back here x

  22. Hi Adina,
    I’ve never commented but I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoy your posts. In the terrible state of the world it is a nice escape to see how a woman in Canada who I don’t know likes to dress. I’ve been inspired and impressed by both your words and your outfits. Having said all that — I totally get your utter exhaustion with everything. Living in the US and surrounded by people who shock me with their thoughts and votes, I get it. Every morning I listen to the news waiting to cringe and occasionally cry. Take as much time as you need.

  23. I’ve loved reading your blog and being inspired by your outfits, but I also completely understand. I’ve had to withdraw from the blog I love(d) for some of the same reasons. We’ll miss you, and you should do what you need to do for yourself and your family.

  24. I’ll miss your wit and eloquence Adina, but understand and support your choice. Thank you for the explanation, and take care of yourself.

  25. Love your posts and you will be missed on your leave of absence. Please take care of yourself and your family – that is the highest priority. The world seems to have gone crazier than usual and many of us look at what we have done in the past to survive and wonder if we should have done differently. Take care and I hope you do come back – because I love your posts and because it will mean things are better for you .

  26. Adina, I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope that you are able to rest and rejuvenate. I haven’t commented much but I want to say that I really enjoyed the blog and your fun, funny and real writing. Also the clothes are always interesting to ponder, especially when they’re not my style. It expands my ideas for my current closet. Thank you for the fun and I hope for the best for you and your family.

  27. Oh, lady. Hang in there. Your absence here will be felt but getting your oflline self in order takes priority. Hope to still see you on the ‘gram… 🙂 Best wishes

  28. I hope you feel better soon Adina. I will miss you and your incredible style but as long as you are on Insta I will continue to be inspired.

  29. I am so sorry, Adina. But I completely understand – you need to do what is best for you and your family. I will miss your blog greatly – I always enjoyed seeing what you were going to post every day. Sending you hopes for peace & rejuvenation. Best wishes!

  30. Thank you so much for the blog, the pictures, the words and your approach to life have often made me feel a gladness. I think your exhaustion and reflections on experiences ‘we’ have had, and how ‘we’ dealt with those expereinces then, now and next are likely resonating with many of us. I wish you the very best, and thank you again.

  31. Thank you for eloquently stating your thoughts on Weinstein. I too have been pondering my past experiences and wondering if I should have not brushed them off so easily.

    You will be missed! Till next time.

  32. I am sorry you are going through a bad time and thank you for your explanation. I started following you years ago, but went back and read from your first blog, once I saw how much I enjoyed your fashion sense and writing. This is my favorite blog.
    I hope that you someday return to blogging after time off. You will be greatly missed. In the meantime, I hope we can follow you on Instagram.

    Thank you for many years of enjoyment.

  33. When you share a piece of yourself, it’s with the best intentions. Thank you for doing it. It has been interesting, entertaining, thought provoking! I’m sorry that people with evil intentions and mean spirits have made you feel down and discouraged. I also removed myself from online presence not because they hurt me, but because I decided to save my energies for people who appreciate me for who I am. You keep being you, and I hope that happiness increases for you. Best of luck!

  34. I’m so sorry to hear about how hard things have been. I will miss reading your writing here, but it is important to do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your family.

    I can definitely relate to how the news these days adds to any difficulty one is going through. I’m definitely not the same as how I was before the election results came out, and it’s just- ugh! The way the Weinstein thing is being treated is also making me feel… a lot of kind of complicated things.

  35. I’m sorry to hear of your struggles and hope you can now take the time you need to cope. I’ve certainly enjoyed your blog but understand why you need a break. I’ve not felt “normal ” since November and wake up daily wondering what crazy things will be reported or what terrible things will now happen. Self care is important–best of luck to you.

  36. I wish the best for you and hope that you get through this rough patch as quickly and wholly as possible. I’ve loved seeing your style evolutions over the years. I frequently use you for inspiration when I was trying to figure out how to dress for my attorney gigs that required varying levels of formality!

  37. You will be missed, but I completely understand your need to step away. I’ll just have to keep up with your cute outfits via Instagram. 🙂 Wishing you and your family all the best!

  38. I’ve enjoyed all of your posts and our discussions about clothes, fashion, and books. I really feel like you’ve helped me realise that I can be a stylish person! I wish you and your family all the best.

  39. Adina: The Trump allegations brought back for me all of the similar incidents in my life, scrolling on an endless reel. It took time to process them with the mind of an adult. This week’s news cycle didn’t have the same effect. Give yourself time to work through things, and you will come back stronger. Don’t forget you have a community of gals rooting for you. Cat

  41. Oh Adina,
    Ditto all of the above.
    You have been an inspiration for my style, thrifting, writing, honesty, and pride in being a woman.
    Perhaps you will write a book.
    With great respect and (online) affection,
    Rachel

  42. I’m so sorry for your troubles. I love your blog and will miss it but I hope for rest and healing for you and your family.

  43. So sorry to hear this. Thoroughly enjoyed this blog. Still, you must do what’s best for you and your family. I wish you the absolute best! God bless.

  44. I am so sorry that this has been such a rough time, and that you have been on the receiving end of something unacceptable. I hope that you and your husband will come through it in the very best of spirits. I’ll miss your style, and hope to see you back at a time that is right for you. In the meantime, like all your readers I am sure, you have my respect and admiration. Kx

  45. Like you and many readers, I’ve been feeling a great increase of stress, tension, and exhaustion too, along with regret, hurt, and anger. And so I wish you the best.
    I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog and hope to see more from you in the future. I’ve enjoyed your style, humor, writing, and photos.

  46. I am sorry that you’ve had such an awful time, and certainly understand that some things (blogging) have to go for the time being. I look forward to your return because I especially love seeing how you put together your outfits, and seeing your thrift shop successes. Please take care of yourself – that should come first.

  47. Oh my gosh I’m so sorry to hear, I do hope you are able to seek and find healing/solace/nurturing of some sort. Best wishes to you and your family!

  49. Hope you come back before too long, Adina. Will miss your thrifting tales and outfit-creating skills. In the meantime, look after yourself.

  50. So sorry to hear about the horrible things going on in your life. Wishing you healing and peace. You will be missed. Hope you continue to post on Instagram. Sending good wishes your way…

  51. Take good care of yourself. Enjoy being with your family. Wishing you the best – including thrift finds.

    A

  53. Hi Adina, I’ll miss your intelligence and wit and your tales from the thrift. I hope you’ll be back.

    In the meantime, take care of yourself and your family. That is what’s important.

  55. I’m so sorry to hear about what you’re going through! Oh, yes, do whatever you need to do for your well being, and that of your family – that’s the most important thing, hands down. Just been binge reading your blog (I actually subscribe to it in my newreader, but I’ve only discovered it about a year ago, so it was really interesting to read older posts). Selfishly, I hope you will come back… I really like your writing, and I find your style fascinating (though my own style could not be more different); also I LOVE thrifting too, and I really love to watch your thrifting journey; oh, and – as an avid reader – love the book/TV posts. And I really appreciate that you’re not trying to sell us things, like most other style/fashion blogs out there. Your blog is lovely corner of the internet, and thank you so much for all the posts. Sending lots of positive vibes your way, as corny as that may be.

  56. Oh, I’m so sorry. I will miss reading your writing, but I’m I’m very very sorry that life feels so overwhelming. This has been a strange year, hasn’t it? It seems like the world is getting more cruel. I hope that you and your family stay safe, and you find peace in the midst of all this.

  57. I really enjoy your blog. As others have said, it’s my daily escape. I hope you will return for GOT final season commenting!

  59. I will certainly miss your writing. I read your posts faithfully every morning, even if I didn’t always comment. I hope you and your family stay happy and healthy! I look forward to shopping or swapping with you in the future. 😉

  60. So sorry to read this. Sending you lots of positive vibes and strength. Hope to see you on the Internets/social media soon!

  61. So sorry to hear about the rough times! Thank you for being honest. I have greatly enjoyed your posts and outfits and thoughts and writing! Best of luck with everything in your future.

  62. So sorry you’re having a rough time. The world is a bit of an arsehole at the moment, isn’t it? Feels like we’re going backwards rather than forwards.
    Please take care of yourself and your family, and make sure to take some time just for you too. I’ll miss your outfits, your writing style and your impeccable grammar <3 Hope to see you back here one day, if and when you want to. xxx

  63. I’m sorry that things are so tough for you right now. In regards to the news cycle trauma stuff, I totally get it. My shrink said I had something like PTSD (not throwing the term around lightly, it was what he said) from the MH17 crash and the Grenfell tower fire… I am pretty selective about my news sources now, because the grief/trauma rubbernecking can be really hard on sensitive people.

    As for the real life troll, I’m sorry you’re going through that too… I hope it’s nothing dangerous or anything.

    Hoping that we’ll see a return at some point, because I really love your style and I will always owe it to you that I started shopping for higher quality used clothes instead of fast fashion all the time – thank you for that!

    • Just wanted to let you know I’m with you re the news cycle stuff. I’ve always kept up with the news but lately it’s adding to my anxiety and I just… can’t. It’s too much and I need to put my mental health first, despite feeling like I “should” be keeping up with what’s going on in the world.
      It’s probably not much consolation coming from a random on the internet, but you are not alone 🙂

      • Thank you, it does help! 🙂 It is hard because so many people have told me that it’s a symptom of privilege to be able to cloister myself off from this stuff, and maybe it is, but I shouldn’t have to force myself to witness stuff that makes my anxiety unbearable just to prove a point about how current or informed I am. It’s hard, but everybody has to find ways of putting their sanity first.

        • That’s exactly it! At some point you have to put yourself first and if that means avoiding the majority of news and taking a step back from topical debates with friends/colleagues for a while, then so be it.
          No idea who said it originally but I’ve seen this quote doing the rounds online lately and I like it: “Self care is not selfish; you cannot serve from an empty vessel.”

  64. Hi Adina,
    Also a lurker, coming out to wish you well! I’m sorry this has been such a tough time and the online harassment sounds awful. Wishing you all the best and I hope you find some restorative things to do.

    Look forward to your return and seeing all the amazing treasure you amass in the interim.

  66. I’m so sorry to hear this, but understand why you are stepping away. I always look forward to reading your blog and yours was one of the reasons I finally started my own. Wishing you the best.
    -D

  67. Longtime reader, infrequent commenter, and Instagram follower here… This news cycle (/year) is soul crushing and it does bleed into “real” life. I’m sorry to see you go, but glad you’re taking care of you. That’s more important than any blog. Happy to still have you on IG.

  68. We will miss you, but you owe us nothing. You owe it to yourself to take the time you need to heal. Best wishes to you and your family.

  69. I’m so sorry to hear this. I love your blog and hope that you an come back soon and hope you feel safe again to do so . All the best to you, certainly will miss your posts. Take care.

  70. Positive thoughts to you and your family…. and really to us all. Your blog has always been one I look forward to reading as I enjoy your writing, your outlook, and the thrill of your thrifting hunts! Thank you for all the time you have given to all your faceless readers. Be well. Be strong.

  71. I’m so sorry to hear that you’re going through difficult times. Please know that we will miss you, but understand and wish you well. Be kind to yourself.

  72. I’m so sorry you’re struggling, and you’re most definitely wise to take time off from hobbies like this fantastic blog! I’ve also been a bit overwhelmed by the H.W. issue, perhaps for other reasons, but with an intensity that has surprised me. I don’t know where I’ll go for intelligent fashion commentary, but guess I can have some fun scrolling your archives. 🙂 Be well.

  73. I am sorry that you’re going thru hard times…I will definitely miss your blog 🙁 Best of luck to you!

  75. I have never commented before but I feel like I have to. I am so sorry to hear that things are not going well and you should take a break if you need to! But that being said I will miss youre posts and quirky headlines!

  76. All my best for peace of mind. You’re an inspiration – made me take a second look at florals, which I never thought would happen. I’m glad to see you’re still posting to Instagram. Who knows what I’ll reconsider next?

  77. Well it’s been a month and I do so miss your blog! Wishing you would come back, but understanding why you’re not.