So, after 10 years, two kids, and a slew of major house renovations, the biggest test of my marriage turned out to be something completely unforeseen. A haircut. Or, to be more precise, getting my husband to cut my hair.
We live in interesting times.**
Let me set the stage for you by mentioning that my last professional haircut was back in October 2019, at which time I got a long, asymmetrical pixie cut. I decided to forego my next appointment in December, mostly from laziness. Then I decided to skip past February, and wait until after a trip to Mexico to book my next haircut. By this point, I was raring to get it cut – and even experiment with colour! – but, of course, life had other plans. Skip ahead a few more months and we get to July; my hair was almost down to my shoulders and I had more or less resigned myself to growing it out until further notice. [See my disclaimer below regarding my reasons for not wanting to go to the hair salon. There were several personal considerations, mixed in with a healthy dose of laziness. Again.]
All fine and good. Except that what usually happens when I try to grow out my hair, well, happened again.
I remembered that I hate long hair on myself.
The thing is, in principle, I am ALL for long hair. I imagine myself with mermaid waves, Instagram-worthy tresses past my shoulder blades. “I will be one of those girls,” I whisper to myself. “Frolicking carefree in a lush meadow, with my beautiful long hair blowing gently in the breeze.” If I get really cocky, the words “Pre Raphaelite curls” might slip past my lips. Ah, but who are we kidding? I’ve never had the patience to do much more than the most rudimentary of curls on my straight-ish, fine, limp hair, and if I’ve yielded a curling wand, it’s always been with reluctance; nowadays, I have even less incentive than usual to try. The reality is that, almost every day since my hair grew long enough, it’s been up in a basic ponytail. Convenient in the summer but incredibly boring.
Now, my preferred hair length (on myself) is a short bob. A blunt, straight-across, grazing-the-chin bob. Preferably with equally blunt bangs. Like so:
For a visual reference, this was my hair situation as of early July:
As I struggled with my hair dilemma, an idea began to take shape.
What if … just what if … not saying definitely, but maybe … what if … my husband were to … you know … cut it?!
One day, I casually mentioned this idea to my dear spouse and he did not immediately recoil from it. Maybe he was feeling cocky; he’d been cutting our son’s hair during quarantine, with relative success. So, the idea took hold. Began to seem increasingly reasonable, in fact. My husband is an architect by training – surely, I reasoned, he can cut a straight line. No angles, no layers, nothing tricky to it.
Right?!
And this is how we found ourselves, one evening last week, in front of our bathroom mirror, contemplating our marriage’s greatest challenge: Operation Haircut.
Things didn’t get off to the best start. Almost immediately, my husband commented that he was surprised by how much hair I had. My hair is, indeed, fine but I have been repeatedly assured by my previous hair stylists that there is a LOT of it. I guess they weren’t lying. The “so much hair” bit became a constant refrain over the next hour and a half. At one point, my husband mentioned that he expected to have nightmares about “all this hair”. I am afraid my only retort was to assure him that the only nightmare would be the one on my head. We were not in the best of marital mindframes in that moment, I’m sure. But, we persevered – through sundry questionable stages (each worse than the previous) – until at last, we had a semblance of a straight line at more or less the correct length. I finally exhaled.
After a few more passes to touch up rough spots, not to mention my bangs (which I had butchered in an earlier attempt to cut them myself), we were ready to call it a night. I woke up with a few straggling hairs and a bit of unevenness on the underside at the back of my head, but honestly … not in bad shape, all things considered.
I mean, it’s not a professional cut, but it’s passable for the amount of time I spend in public settings these days. Check it out:
I’m not sure I would recommend this process (although it does make for an almost existential-level trust exercise if that’s something you’re interested in) but all is well that ends well. I have a cute haircut and, apparently, a new hair stylist. Luckily, he has not asked me to return the favour. There are limits to what even the most resilient of marriages can survive.
**I must caveat this post by saying that (a) hair salons are open in my city; (b) I don’t judge anyone who chooses to use their services at this time (assuming appropriate safety precautions are used by all involved). My choice not to go to my usual salon was the result of a number of personal circumstances, and it’s not my intent for it to be taken as a broad statement on the safety of visiting a hair salon at this stage of the pandemic. I believe such determinations are best left up to local public health officials (and I am specifically speaking to the Canadian experience, only).
This is fantastic, he did a great job (all things considered). I find it fascinating that you would not consider the reverse, I have been cutting my husband’s hair since before the pandemic but would never ask him to cut mine. I also hear you on not wanting to go to a hair salon, cases are spiking near me and I don’t need to escape my ponytail existence that badly.
Gosh, I struggle with cutting my daughter’s bangs so I can’t imagine being trusted with anyone’s full head of hair. Plus, my husband has super thick hair that needs to be thinned out and I have no idea what to do with that. I don’t think it would ever cross HIS mind to ask, lol!
Aah that makes more sense, we’re a thin-haired household here. And I think bangs are extra challenging since they’re such a focal point!
“best left up to local public health officials (and I am specifically speaking to the Canadian experience, only”
ROFL in the USA 🙂
Yeah, I cannot speak to the US experience but even reading the news about it is … stressful.
Looks great! After about the fourth time buzz cutting my husband’s hair during the shutdown I’ve stopped counting. It reminds me of my Italian grandfather doing all the boys in the family in the kitchen with a sheet on the floor. I told my husband I expected the same remuneration he paid at the salon but he said my patter was not nearly as exciting as that of his glamorous DJ stylist.
Hahaha! We had the same conversation with the roles reversed.
That looks good! I’ve been doing okay cutting my own bangs but I will probably have my boyfriend do a one-length cut at some point since I suspect California is going to have everything closed again for at least a few more months.
I’ve done one haircut on him so far and I was pleasantly surprised with how well it turned out! 😂 We decided that I shouldn’t quit my day job yet but it turned out well enough that he’d be happy to have me cut it again if necessary in a pinch even once the shops open back up. I watched a bunch of videos on scissor cutting from the Regal Gentleman channel on youtube and it was very helpful.
You’re braver than me! I couldn’t teach myself how to do a Dutch braid from a YouTube tutorial, I don’t think I can manage a whole haircut!
He did a great job! I have been cutting my own hair, fortunately a chunky long bob is a thing right now, because that is all I can manage.
Y’all are putting me to shame with your self-haircuts (is that the right term?) I’m impressed. Still not gonna even think about trying it because I know my limits 😜
It looks fantastic! I just cut my 85 year old mother’s hair yesterday in a similar style but your husband did a better job … I should have watched some videos first but didn’t think of it. In any case she was just happy and relieved to have a couple of inches taken off.
He didn’t watch any either. I had that thought part way through the haircut – like, ugh, why didn’t I make him watch a video?! But it worked out alright. And I’m sure your mom looks fab!
This is such a chic and flattering cut on you! He did a pretty decent job!
It’s my fave type of cut! I wish I could do long hair because I admire it constantly on other people, but I think this suits me — and my hairstyling skills – best.
“existential level trust exercise” LOL!!
partnership is not for the weak
Gotta keep things interesting, right? 😂
I think it looks great! Kudos to your husband. I’ve been cutting my own hair since lockdown, going shorter every time. I just saw a photo of me from late Feb, and my hair is about six inches shorter, right at shoulder length.
As someone who also has lots of fine hair, I can’t recommend thinning shears enough. My stylist always uses them on me, and since I don’t plan on going to the hair salon any time soon, I bought a pair, watched a couple YouTube videos and went to town. I’m glad I took the risk; my hair feels so much better and is much more manageable.
You are brave! I can’t imagine trying to cut my own hair. I did my bangs a while back and they were pretty bad. Luckily they grow fast and my husband fixed them up …
Your hair looks great! I was brave and went to get my hair cut this weekend in a salon (masks and other precautions were involved), because, like you, I can’t stand having long hair. Previously, when I asked my husband for help, he told me that he has a bowl and some scissors, so… that wasn’t going to work.
Hahaha! Your husband is funny. Tbh, that would be my response too if someone asked me for a haircut.