Last week I wrote about things I like; this week, it’s time to talk about what I don’t like. You might be wondering ‘what’s the point of that?’ If the things we like are the building blocks of our personal style, isn’t the key thing to know what those are? And, yes, that’s important. But knowing what you don’t like is equally important because they also, in a way, define our personal style. Or, if you will, the boundaries of our personal style.
Having a list of things I’ve tried and didn’t like has helped me to cut down on clothing purchases that I end up regretting. You know how they say, ‘fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me?’ Something like that applies to fashion too. The fashion industry has an endless assortment of styles and clothes to offer us. All. The. Time. Some amount of sampling and experimenting is useful (and, arguably, necessary) to figuring out one’s personal style, but it’s critical to learn from both the failures as well as the successes in order to avoid a cycle of repeated disappointment and wastage (our money, and the environment’s resources).
Here are the things I don’t like.
Pencil Skirts
Here, I am talking specifically about knee-adjacent pencil skirts. Last week, I talked about how I strive to achieve a long vertical line in my outfits. Knee-length anything is completely counterproductive to that goal because it accentuates that my legs are short compared to my torso.
Puffy Sleeves
Now, this is not a “never, ever” situation for me, but it’s a deep orange flag. Short and puffy is a Hell, No. I have broad shoulders and adding bulk and volume to my upper arms makes me look (to myself) and feel like a linebacker. Elbow-length and puffy is a Think Carefully Before You Commit. I tend to avoid these kinds of sleeves, but have made rare exceptions.
I will say that I enjoy a voluminous sleeve, just not a puffy one. Think something like a bishop sleeve, for example.
High Heels
I lived in high heels when I worked in the office. Then came the pandemic and WFH life, and heels dropped off the map. And never came back. I will wear a pair for the very rare special occasions in my life (like weddings), but otherwise anything with a heel taller than 2 inches is pretty much a no-go for me. I used to love heels because they made me extra tall – and I think we have established how important that is to me – but I have since learned to create the illusion of height through the proportions of my outfit, which is a far more comfortable and practical solution.
Skinny Pants
I am specifically talking about this flavour of skinny pants – oh, and remember those skinny jeans that were basically glorified leggings (except tighter and less comfortable)? Yeah, not for me. It’s not because they’re currently out of style/off-trend. It’s because, once my legs discovered the comfort of looser fitting pants, they refused to go back. At this point, I think skinny jeans would be a sensory issue for me, honestly. I can wear leggings as long as they’re suuuuuper soft and stretchy and are as close to seamless as possible. Anything else skinny is out.
Paisley
Ok, clearly, I do own paisley print clothes. That being said, I am very strict about what I buy, and own very few paisley items. I love prints. I think paisley is a beautiful print. I just don’t love it on me for some reason. I have no rational explanation for this. All I know is that, for years, I kept trying to make fetch paisley happen, only to routinely donate most of the paisley pieces I bought. Eventually, I learned my lesson.
Royal Purple
This one pains me too. I love royal purple as a colour. I just don’t love it on me. I also find it hard to pair with the rest of my wardrobe colour palette. So I’ve had to stop myself from buying purple clothes, no matter how cute they are and how much I love the colour on the hanger.
Leather Pants
This one kinda hurts to admit, lol! The truth is that I’ve re-donated 90% of the leather or faux leather pants I’ve thrifted over the years, and that is a clear sign that leather pants are Not For Me. To be clear, I don’t hate them – in principle or on myself. I just (almost) never end up reaching for them to actually wear. So, now, they’re on my do-not-buy list.
Strapless Dresses
I hate strapless bras, and most strapless dresses are designed such that they require me to wear, ahem, some form of bust support. Ditto dresses with very thin spaghetti straps. I will, occasionally, make exceptions for the latter, mostly because I can wear them layered over sleeved tops, which allows me to wear the bra(lette) of my choice underneath.
Wrap Dresses
I used to love wrap dresses, but as my style evolved, I fell out of love. It’s not just the fact that most of them tend to be knee-length; I find the style to be one of the least versatile for me. I don’t like how they look layered, and layering dresses is one of my fave style “hacks”. I also don’t like how they look under blazer-style jackets, and we’ve established how much I love those.
In talking about all my dislikes, I hope I’m not making you feel bad about liking these things. Personal style is highly individual. The takeaway, I hope, is about how to assess the things you’ve tried that didn’t work out and break down the reasons why in order to become better equipped to curate the wardrobe of your dreams.
That is the dream!
Although we have different body types and style I think it’s funny that I say no to all the same things that you listed. I have to add turtle necks (too hot since menopause) and boat neck tops (since bra straps show), denim skirts (which I love in theory but never wear for some reason) and dolman sleeves (just adds too much volume on top). Can’t think of anything else at the moment but it’s been a lot of trial and error over the years and I’m 61 now. Always enjoy reading your viewpoint on fashion bc it’s pretty spot on.
Ooh, yes – denim skirts *are* tricky! I have tried to make them work before and never found a style that worked for me.
During COVID, I made a list of what I liked and wanted to wear and also listed what I did not like and did not want to wear. It has not really changed.
I don’t wear orange (I am cool, orange is warm) or brown. I don’t hate brown, but the ashy cool brown best for light summers is hard to find. So I don’t bother.
I say I am allergic to ruffles. Not really, but close enough. Ruching and some trims are okay, but the minute you call it a ruffle, I am OUT.
I do not like small, “ditsy” florals like Liberty prints…or florals in general. If I wear floral, I want it big or deconstructed.
I do not do pencil skirts; skinny pants; or “foofy” sleeves. Mild poof is okay. We are in agreement here. I also do not do sheer, although I like eyelet and do not always wear something underneath.
And no athleisure unless I am hiking or exercising.
My current style words are soft, classic, and polished. I am trying to break up with black, which is hard because black is so omnipresent. Black is NOT soft, but gray is.
P.S. What you are calling royal purple reads “cobalt” (more blue) on my screen. That is a hard color for anyone who is not a winter. I cannot do it either.
Yes, purple is def not “my” colour, although I love it in principle.
I’m also not a ruffle fan … I forgot about that, maybe because I never wear them, haha!
And you look spectacular in all of these photos – Id take all those things you don’t like willingly off your hands. But we must true to ourselves! Keep posting such super columns!!!
Thanks, Roxanne!