One of the keys to personal style is knowing what you like (and what you don’t like – more on that next week). For me, experimentation has been the key to figuring out my true likes and dislikes, distinct from fashion trend cycles and social media hype trains. My likes boil down to things that (a) feel good on my body, (b) spark joy, and (c) create congruence between the inner world and outer presentation. In other words, they allow me to present myself to the world in a way that aligns with my experience of identity.

Likes and dislikes can change over time, but I’ve found that, once you home in on the authentic ones (aka self-driven, not society-driven), they tend to be quite resilient. Personal style is more fluid because it’s more than just the sum of its parts. The way I put together my fave pieces is constantly evolving, in small or not-so-small ways, but the pieces themselves tend to remain consistent. That wasn’t always the case; in my early to mid 30s, I cycled through a lot of fave pieces while trying to figure out what I actually, really liked. Thank god for thrifting! [Yes, that’s the obligatory plug for secondhand shopping. New year, same old philosophy.]

OK, so what are some of the things I like?

Midi Skirts

First thing that comes to mind when you think Adina’s Personal Style, right? I love both fitted, column-style skirts and wide, voluminous skirts, but they have to hit at the right spot – anywhere from just below the widest part of my calf to just above the ankle. This helps create the elongated vertical line I love because it makes me feel taller, which in turn makes me feel more confident. Basically, it’s my power move.

High Rise (Everything)

I love high-rise pants and skirts for two reasons: I find them most comfortable, and they help create that long vertical line I just talked about. I have a long torso/short legs situation, and a high-rise visually “redistributes” my proportions. Comfort-wise, I prefer a waistband to hit at my natural waist, which sits a little higher than my belly button, because then it doesn’t compress my stomach area (which can be painful for me).

Cropped Chunky Sweaters

I love the look of a chonky, even oversized sweater – I find them both stylish and comfortable – but I prefer them to be cropped. That means they must hit above my hip bones or higher; ideally, around my natural waist. It’s the other side of the equation vis-à-vis high rise pants and skirts. A match made in heaven … at least according to moi.

The summer counterpart of the cropped chunky sweater is the cropped, fitted top. There, I prefer either short sleeves or wide straps.

Vests

I love vests. They’re a versatile layering piece, and you know how much I love a layered moment. I prefer form-fitting vests that hit around or just below my natural waist. I’m sure you can guess why.

Turtlenecks

I live in a cold climate, so turtlenecks are the staple of my style for about 6 months out of the year. I like thick ones that serve as “standalone” sweaters, but I especially like thin ones that can be layered under other things (other sweaters, dresses, etc.). Having that extra, lightweight layer gives me more latitude to wear my fave clothes year-round. A thin merino wool (or cotton wool blend) turtleneck can be surprisingly warm.

Voluminous Dresses

I love the drama of twirly dresses. My two fave flavours are: (1) loose and tiered, and (2) fit and flare. In both cases, they have to be midi+ (aka below calf length). While I also enjoy long, column-style dresses, I find them less comfortable unless they’re made from a fabric that skims the body rather than clings to it and are cut on the bias. I have curves and they love a bias cut!

Blazer-style Jackets

Whenever I hear the word “blazer”, I have flashbacks to the early 2010s and a very specific style of office wear … which is not my current jam. But, for better or worse, the jackets I love can probably best described as blazer-style. It’s more difficult for me to explain precisely what I like than it is to describe what I don’t like. I don’t like fitted blazers made from light suiting material that hit around the hip bone. I don’t mind that style if the material is tweed. I don’t mind light suiting material if the cut is looser and longer. I also like shorter, more cropped styles, but then I prefer a boxy cut (which starts to take us out of blazer territory).

Low Heels

I don’t do “real” heels anymore, but I like a little stacked heel to elevate me a couple of inches off the ground. Sandals, pumps, boots – you name it. I tend to avoid flat shoes, unless they’re loafers. Even there, I prefer a platform sole so that, while technically not a heel, I’ve got those extra inches. Nowadays, I find ballerina-style flats almost as uncomfortable as 3 inch+ heels to wear; plus, I don’t love the aesthetic anymore either. With flats, I prefer a chunkier shoe. I think it suits my current style better.

So, what about you?

If you haven’t done so before, I recommend making a list of Things You Like because it can be a great tool in understanding your personal style and in guiding clothes shopping decisions. I’ve eliminated a lot of my regret purchases over the years by keeping this sort of list … along with a list of Things I Don’t Like, which can be equally important. Come back next week and we’ll dive into that.

What a month this week has been! January is definitely January-ing hard at the moment. I’m muddling through it, but the verdict’s out on how much fun is being had. There have been some highs. I’ve sold over 100 copies of A Party to Murder, which is amazing!! This was one of the milestones I had set when I decided to pursue self-publishing, and I’m so happy and proud to have reached it so quickly. Thank you to everyone who supported my launch!

If you’re reading the book now, I hope you’re enjoying it. If you haven’t started it yet … don’t mind me, I’m just over here, (not so) patiently waiting. [Just kidding. No pressure. But, also, I’m dying, hah!]

Of course, now that I’d had one day with no sales at all, my brain is convinced that this is it, and that I’ll never sell another book. You know, typical debut author anxious BS. [I assume? I hope I’m not the only one who is constantly crashing out.] I’m distracting myself from it – or trying – by doing the first pass edits on the fantasy mystery novel I wrote back in September/October. I’m down in the weeds, and it’s slow-going. But I’ve also started getting the wheels in motion for my second release, which will be a follow-up (of sorts) to A Party to Murder. I’m aiming for early April, but it’s still a bit of a moving target.

My “reduce screen time” goal was … not goal-ing very well this week. I tried, and did not succeed as much as I would have liked. I did read a bit more than usual (for being in the middle of a writing/editing sprint) but I also still doom-scrolled a bit too. But … progress over perfection, right? Gonna keep chipping away at my screen time, a little bit every day.

The kids’ basketball season is in full swing now, which adds another layer of logistics to our daily routines that is taking some adjustment. I’m really missing the slow, quiet days of our holiday break right now. Sigh. At least we are moving ever closer to spring, which will hopefully bring a much-needed energy boost along with the shorter days and warmer temps. I’m hella sick of winter. With the holidays over, what exactly is winter bringing to the table? Nothing fun or exciting, that’s what.

If you’re got any tricks or “hacks” for making this time of year less bleak, do share them with the class, please and thank you!

Have a great weekend!

The new year, new chapter … but today I’m feeling nostalgic, so let’s take a wander down memory lane instead and look back at some style snapshots of Januaries past. It’s fun to remember the people we used to be, right? Clothes tell those stories so vividly – especially when you’re someone like me who (a) has had a lot of clothes over the years, and (b) takes photos of those clothes nearly every day.

Let’s start by throwing it all the way back to January 2016, a decade ago. Ten years. How? No, don’t let me digress!

Did I even need to tell you this was 2016? Just look at those skinny, cropped cigarette pants. God, I lived in those between 2015-2017! I thought I looked great in them. And, listen: there’s nothing wrong with cigarette pants, per se. I’m sure the silhouette will come back in style sooner or later. The problem is that in 2016, we had not yet discovered high-rise pants. All of my skinny pants were also low rise – you can see this very, very clearly in these photos. And that was a problem for me because I have a super long torso and short legs. You can see how the waistband of the pants basically cuts my vertical line in half. It makes me look shorter and I don’t like that. In my head, I like to think I’m a willowy, tall person – not someone with a 28-inch inseam. Sigh.

Other things I loved in January 2016: colour-blocking, patterns, big bags, J. Crew. I’m pretty sure that half the pieces in these photos are J. Crew. I was working in private practice at the time, but hadn’t yet pivoted to a more client-facing role, so my office style was on the more casual side of business casual.

2016 ended up being a challenging year for me – probably the most challenging one of my 30s. I turned 36 that year and went through a kind of identity-slash-life crisis. This, I’ve since learned, is a not uncommon experience for women, specifically around the age of 35-36. I was “having it all” (big career, small babies, marriage, house, the whole nine yards) and not feeling particularly happy and trying to figure out why when society had assured me that I would. I figured myself out eventually, but it was rough going for a while. I think you can glimpse that in my outfits. I was playing things safe. And using bright colours to tell myself that I was fine and everything was fine. Just fine. Totally fine.

Ok, let’s fast forward 5 years to January 2021.

Jump scare, but in a good way? If you didn’t already know and I told you this was a different person from the previous set of photos, you’d probably believe me, wouldn’t you? And, actually, it’s kinda true. The person I was in January 2021 was very, very different from 2016 Adina. I had a different lifestyle, a different job, and a very different sense of myself. I turned 40 in August 2020, in the middle of the pandemic, so I was navigating a lot of changes, both internal and external. But the real quantum leap actually came later in 2021, starting with my mom’s sudden passing in April. In many ways, that became one of the key dividing lines in my life. Before and after. But the seeds of the person I became after were already germinating in January 2021.

You can see what I’m no longer dressing to “fit in”. I’m wearing things I like, and they were not bought at the mall. The silhouettes are doing what I want them to do. I look more confident. I felt more confident. Inhabiting my clothes, not cosplaying a version of myself palatable to the world.

Let’s jump again, 2 years, to January 2023.

This is a recognizable version of my current self, isn’t it? I was still in the middle of the transition that kicked off in 2021, but the blueprint was in place. Actually, this was another challenging period; in late 2022, I was diagnosed with DCIS, a form of non-invasive breast cancer, and underwent surgery (and, later, radiation). It kicked off another round of deep reflection and soul-searching, making me more committed than ever to living my best life on my own terms.

I still own and wear all of the pieces in these photos and would wear these exact outfits today. The middle one, in fact, remains one of my fave outfits of all time. It feels so authentic to who I am and how I want to show up in the world.

And, just for fun, let’s kick in back to last year: January 2025.

Needless to say, I still love all of these outfits. If I put them side-by-side with my current ones, it would be tough to date them. Strangely, this makes me feel like I’ve stopped aging – though not, of course, evolving. It’s just that the passage of time has been internalized now, rather than being a fully visible process. I’m sure that will change again as I move into my late 40s; my body, if not my style, is bound to change in visible ways again.

Hey, this was fun – and, as always, there were new nuggets of insights to be gleaned from the exercise. I recommend it! Old photos can be a helpful tool when it comes to reflecting on who and where we’ve been, who and where we are, and where we’re heading.

New year, new chapter.