This week felt like being in a starting line waiting for a gun that never went off. Do the Germans have a word for that feeling of being keyed up about something exciting that feels imminent except you have no idea when it’s actually going to happen and it keeps not happening (yet)? Germans have words for everything, especially compound emotions. So how about this: excitement + anticipation + uncertainty + frustration + malaise? That was my week, lol!

I came to the (belated) realization that I am doomed to exist in a state of frustrated anticipation. Waiting is basically my default mode, I guess … simply because my brain runs at a completely different speed from the rest of the world. I am forever waiting for people, things, life to catch up to me. For years and years, I thought this was a character flaw – lack of patience, pretty mundane – but now I see that it’s a question of cognitive functioning. Understanding this doesn’t change anything, practically speaking, but it’s helping me see and make peace with the fact that it’s not something I can “fix” about myself. I just have to learn to live with it.

On the bright side, reviews for my book are slowly trickling in – and they’ve been amazing! I am so thrilled to see that people are getting precisely the book experience that I wanted to create for readers. There is no better feeling for a storyteller. Sales are also ticking along, though I’m trying not to get hung up on those numbers. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m a debut indie author without a massive platform or audience (yet, haha) and that getting traction for my books is going to be a slow marathon, not a sprint. Particularly since I don’t write in a genre that’s ripe to go viral. What I’ve read in a lot of writer spaces is that building up a backlist – i.e. publishing more books – is key to expanding one’s audience and reach. I’ve got a plan for that, so we’ll see how it goes.

I had mixed success this week with my goal of reducing phone screentime. I did cut down a bit, but not nearly as much as I had hoped. I think my hopes were overly ambitious, tbh. But I did manage to read a couple of fantastic books, which I feel sorta balances things out. One of them was Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead by Olga Tokarczuk, and the other was The Sentence by Louise Erdrich. Both feature complex, fascinating older female protagonists with memorable voices (both books use first person narration) that stay with you even when you’re not reading. Of the two, I liked The Sentence a little more, because I found Tookie an easier character to connect with than Janina (and it’s worth adding that both are, in different ways and to different extents, difficult and somewhat “unlikable” characters).

On the other hand, I made very little progress this week with my current Classic Lit book choice, Thomas Mann’s Doctor Faustus. The writing style (which is a deliberate authorial choice, I’m sure) makes it a book that I find challenging to “binge”, so I’m reading it very slowly in very small chunks. When I’m also in the middle of a more “gripping” narrative (like the other books I mentioned), it tends to get put on the backburner. I do plan to buckle down next week, because I dislike dragging out books for months on end.

The good news is that we survived Blue Monday, which means that January is almost over, which means that we are one month closer to March, which means spring. Yay! This feels kinda blasphemous to say but I’m already mostly over sweaters and ready to move on to lighter layers.

Have a great weekend!

One of the keys to personal style is knowing what you like (and what you don’t like – more on that next week). For me, experimentation has been the key to figuring out my true likes and dislikes, distinct from fashion trend cycles and social media hype trains. My likes boil down to things that (a) feel good on my body, (b) spark joy, and (c) create congruence between the inner world and outer presentation. In other words, they allow me to present myself to the world in a way that aligns with my experience of identity.

Likes and dislikes can change over time, but I’ve found that, once you home in on the authentic ones (aka self-driven, not society-driven), they tend to be quite resilient. Personal style is more fluid because it’s more than just the sum of its parts. The way I put together my fave pieces is constantly evolving, in small or not-so-small ways, but the pieces themselves tend to remain consistent. That wasn’t always the case; in my early to mid 30s, I cycled through a lot of fave pieces while trying to figure out what I actually, really liked. Thank god for thrifting! [Yes, that’s the obligatory plug for secondhand shopping. New year, same old philosophy.]

OK, so what are some of the things I like?

Midi Skirts

First thing that comes to mind when you think Adina’s Personal Style, right? I love both fitted, column-style skirts and wide, voluminous skirts, but they have to hit at the right spot – anywhere from just below the widest part of my calf to just above the ankle. This helps create the elongated vertical line I love because it makes me feel taller, which in turn makes me feel more confident. Basically, it’s my power move.

High Rise (Everything)

I love high-rise pants and skirts for two reasons: I find them most comfortable, and they help create that long vertical line I just talked about. I have a long torso/short legs situation, and a high-rise visually “redistributes” my proportions. Comfort-wise, I prefer a waistband to hit at my natural waist, which sits a little higher than my belly button, because then it doesn’t compress my stomach area (which can be painful for me).

Cropped Chunky Sweaters

I love the look of a chonky, even oversized sweater – I find them both stylish and comfortable – but I prefer them to be cropped. That means they must hit above my hip bones or higher; ideally, around my natural waist. It’s the other side of the equation vis-à-vis high rise pants and skirts. A match made in heaven … at least according to moi.

The summer counterpart of the cropped chunky sweater is the cropped, fitted top. There, I prefer either short sleeves or wide straps.

Vests

I love vests. They’re a versatile layering piece, and you know how much I love a layered moment. I prefer form-fitting vests that hit around or just below my natural waist. I’m sure you can guess why.

Turtlenecks

I live in a cold climate, so turtlenecks are the staple of my style for about 6 months out of the year. I like thick ones that serve as “standalone” sweaters, but I especially like thin ones that can be layered under other things (other sweaters, dresses, etc.). Having that extra, lightweight layer gives me more latitude to wear my fave clothes year-round. A thin merino wool (or cotton wool blend) turtleneck can be surprisingly warm.

Voluminous Dresses

I love the drama of twirly dresses. My two fave flavours are: (1) loose and tiered, and (2) fit and flare. In both cases, they have to be midi+ (aka below calf length). While I also enjoy long, column-style dresses, I find them less comfortable unless they’re made from a fabric that skims the body rather than clings to it and are cut on the bias. I have curves and they love a bias cut!

Blazer-style Jackets

Whenever I hear the word “blazer”, I have flashbacks to the early 2010s and a very specific style of office wear … which is not my current jam. But, for better or worse, the jackets I love can probably best described as blazer-style. It’s more difficult for me to explain precisely what I like than it is to describe what I don’t like. I don’t like fitted blazers made from light suiting material that hit around the hip bone. I don’t mind that style if the material is tweed. I don’t mind light suiting material if the cut is looser and longer. I also like shorter, more cropped styles, but then I prefer a boxy cut (which starts to take us out of blazer territory).

Low Heels

I don’t do “real” heels anymore, but I like a little stacked heel to elevate me a couple of inches off the ground. Sandals, pumps, boots – you name it. I tend to avoid flat shoes, unless they’re loafers. Even there, I prefer a platform sole so that, while technically not a heel, I’ve got those extra inches. Nowadays, I find ballerina-style flats almost as uncomfortable as 3 inch+ heels to wear; plus, I don’t love the aesthetic anymore either. With flats, I prefer a chunkier shoe. I think it suits my current style better.

So, what about you?

If you haven’t done so before, I recommend making a list of Things You Like because it can be a great tool in understanding your personal style and in guiding clothes shopping decisions. I’ve eliminated a lot of my regret purchases over the years by keeping this sort of list … along with a list of Things I Don’t Like, which can be equally important. Come back next week and we’ll dive into that.

What a month this week has been! January is definitely January-ing hard at the moment. I’m muddling through it, but the verdict’s out on how much fun is being had. There have been some highs. I’ve sold over 100 copies of A Party to Murder, which is amazing!! This was one of the milestones I had set when I decided to pursue self-publishing, and I’m so happy and proud to have reached it so quickly. Thank you to everyone who supported my launch!

If you’re reading the book now, I hope you’re enjoying it. If you haven’t started it yet … don’t mind me, I’m just over here, (not so) patiently waiting. [Just kidding. No pressure. But, also, I’m dying, hah!]

Of course, now that I’d had one day with no sales at all, my brain is convinced that this is it, and that I’ll never sell another book. You know, typical debut author anxious BS. [I assume? I hope I’m not the only one who is constantly crashing out.] I’m distracting myself from it – or trying – by doing the first pass edits on the fantasy mystery novel I wrote back in September/October. I’m down in the weeds, and it’s slow-going. But I’ve also started getting the wheels in motion for my second release, which will be a follow-up (of sorts) to A Party to Murder. I’m aiming for early April, but it’s still a bit of a moving target.

My “reduce screen time” goal was … not goal-ing very well this week. I tried, and did not succeed as much as I would have liked. I did read a bit more than usual (for being in the middle of a writing/editing sprint) but I also still doom-scrolled a bit too. But … progress over perfection, right? Gonna keep chipping away at my screen time, a little bit every day.

The kids’ basketball season is in full swing now, which adds another layer of logistics to our daily routines that is taking some adjustment. I’m really missing the slow, quiet days of our holiday break right now. Sigh. At least we are moving ever closer to spring, which will hopefully bring a much-needed energy boost along with the shorter days and warmer temps. I’m hella sick of winter. With the holidays over, what exactly is winter bringing to the table? Nothing fun or exciting, that’s what.

If you’re got any tricks or “hacks” for making this time of year less bleak, do share them with the class, please and thank you!

Have a great weekend!