Seasonal transitions are always an exciting time for my closet, especially this time of year as we head into summer. I recently switched out my fall/winter clothing for spring/summer, and it feels like I have a brand-new wardrobe to play with. Fun times! But unlike in previous years, I’ve been giving very little thought to planning for the new season … and it’s not because I’m not excited about getting dressed every day, because I am. In fact, I’ve never been happier or felt more comfortable in my style. I just barely think about it anymore.

Let’s unpack this!

If you’ve been following me for a long time, you will know that personal style has been a constantly evolving journey for me. There was the J. Crew and Anthro era, the corporate goth era, the colour!sequin!pattern! extravaganza era (the pandemic was a weird time, ok?). Has the journey reached its final destination with this current Ivy-and-boho, all-things-Ralph era? It feels premature to make a definitive statement. I am only 43, after all; hopefully, I have a few more decades of living ahead of me. I cannot say that my self-discovery is at an end because I hope I never lose the capacity to surprise myself – in other words, the capacity to learn and grow. But I know who I am, now. I never expected it to take so long to figure that out. Your 20s are supposed to be the decade of self-discovery; I thought I had everything figured out at 30 but, looking back, I think that was only because I believed that I should have had it all figured out – who I was, what I wanted out of life, etc. As it turned out, I didn’t know. Not really. It was my 30s that were actually the “figure me out” decade. In documenting my personal style over that period of time, this blog became a snapshot of that process. Kind of neat, in a way, when you think about it.

Knowing what I like is part and parcel of the whole knowing-who-I-am bit. I’ve been noticing that a lot of what I buy these days are simply variations of things I already own and love. I see that as a sign of confidence in my own taste, though I am mindful of balancing that with receptiveness to new ideas, which is also an important value to me. I don’t want my aesthetic sensibilities (or my mind in general) to become a vacuum-sealed closed system. To learn and grow, we need to be exposed to new ideas. When it comes to fashion, I like to visualize that balance using a travel analogy: I am always interested in seeing new places (i.e. trends) but I use my own compass (i.e. personal taste) to find my way around rather than relying on the signposts put up by other people. I don’t mind looking like a tourist in the process – aka untrendy and, therefore, uncool – because I am comfortable showing up as I am, whether I’m at home or abroad (metaphorically speaking).

I still get excited by clothes, though these days, I’m mostly excited about the clothes I have in my closet, rather than clothes I see at the store. I wear a lot of what, to me, feels like “the same thing” – which is actually just different iterations of the same formulas. I used to love the high of creating a “brand new” outfit (either through a novel formula, new clothes, or some combination of both), but I’ve come to appreciate and value the pleasure of a “perfect” outfit (something that feels most “me”) over novelty. I still enjoy taking photos of my outfits – and, in any case, lack the resolution to break the habit – so I expect that I will continue to share them here and on social media, but I am probably going to shift to writing more about my other hobbies that are taking up the majority of my active mental focus. Lately, that has included books, art, home décor, perfume and a few other niche interests. This is neither a warning nor a promise, by the way – though you can probably expect to start seeing a slightly more diverse range of posts in the coming months.

So, yeah: I am excited for a new sartorial season, which isn’t really a new beginning but, rather, an opportunity to riff on my favourite themes.

To get myself in good shape for that exercise, I did a little bit of housekeeping that I would recommend to everyone this time of year. I went through my closet and pulled out fall- and winter-weight pieces and replaced them with summer-weight ones that have been in storage since last year. Even if you don’t have a large amount of clothes, I think it’s helpful to separate clothes by season (unless you live in a seasonless climate); no point keeping heavy sweaters at hand during summer, as it can make it harder to see what pieces are actually wearable. This “closet switch” is also a good opportunity to evaluate clothes. Before I put away my fall/winter pieces, I look back on the past season and think about how often I wore them. If I didn’t, it may be a sign that I need to let them go, or at least put them on a “maybe purge” list to be re-evaluated come fall. I also check them for signs of wear or damage that needs to be fixed before they go into storage. Then I do something similar with incoming summer clothes: consider if they still fit my style; assess if they still fit my body; check for signs of wear or damage and take notes of anything that requires replacement. It’s a kind of working edit of my closet – a few key tweaks rather than a major overhaul – but it helps keep it running smoothly into the new season.

Here’s to new (and not so new) sartorial adventures and happy almost-summer!

Details: Toni T dickie, Bonnies Strauss dress, Nocona belt (all thrifted)

Thoughts: To the surprise of none, I was quite inspired by the Ralph Lauren FW 2024 runway and took notes. There was a lot of beige involved, which admittedly is not my bag, but the styling is always noteworthy, and there were some all-brown and all-black outfits I loved head-to-toe. This was my attempt to recreate one of them. To add a white collar to the dress, I added my trusty dickie, and I wore the dress backwards (and pinned the V-neckline at the back) to create a different silhouette. I loved the result! A concho belt — a Ralph signature accessory — was the perfect finishing touch.

Details: Ralph Lauren shirt, Chaps tie, Gap jacket, Esprit belt, Banana Republic pants (all thrifted), Mia shoes (retail)

Thoughts: This was another runway-inspired outfit, translated to my own wardrobe staples. The thing about inspiration is that it doesn’t have to involve slavish copying; the fun part is tweaking the idea to suit yourself and your preferences. And your existing closet. These days, when I look at runway collections, I am not looking for new things I need to buy; I am looking for new ways to wear the things I already own.

Details: Babaton turtleneck, Miss Sixty skirt, Ralph Lauren jacket, Old Navy belt (all secondhand)

Thoughts: This skirt has been in storage for a while and I decided to pull it out again and give it a wear. It’s so ‘me’ and yet I have struggled to style it in the past. I think the length is the issue. I love long skirts but this is too long and ends up making outfits feel a bit unbalanced. But a part of me is hesitant to hem it because it is so dramatic at this length, and I keep thinking that might come in handy one day. On the other hand, it means I don’t wear this skirt nearly as often as I could (or should). I think I need to make a tough decision and take the plunge to alter it.

Details: Tommy Hilfiger shirt, Lord & Taylor sweater, Ralph Lauren pants, Fossil belt, Ferragamo shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: I never thought the day would come when I would unironically wear a sweater tied around my neck but here we are. I loved this outfit way more than I thought I would, too! Maybe I just need to accept that I have entered my Peak Prep era? No, I don’t like that — I have never seen myself as a ‘preppy’ and I don’t want to start now. That being said, there is a reason why this styling trick is so popular. The yellow sweater, worn like this, provides the perfect touch of colour that “finishes” the outfit. Had I actually worn it, it would have thrown off the colour balance, and also made the outfit a lot more “buttoned” up. This felt more casual and fun, but in a very grown-up sort of way. I thought I looked like a person who very much has her sh*t together, which I am not but … fake it till you make it, right? 😉

Details: Wilfred sweater, Elisa Franti skirt, Manolo Blahnik shoes (all secondhand)

Thoughts: The friend who gave me the green Coach bag also surprised me with this Italian brand skirt. She really knows me well! I cannot resist a statement midi column skirt. And this one is really worth a statement — just look at that fab pattern, and the design. The front zipper slit is understated sexiness personified. I kept the rest of the outfit super simple to balance out the equation.

Details: Gap tank, DKNY skirt, Andrea Jovine top (all secondhand)

Thoughts: I wore this for (Orthodox) Easter supper at my in-laws, and it was a great choice, if I say so myself. Whenever a lot of yummy food is expected to be consumed, I try to wear the most comfortable thing I can that can be disguised as a “made an effort” outfit. In this case, a stretchy, elastic-waist skirt with a matching plain black top and a statement topper. The topper makes it all look much fancier than it is and, as a bonus, the cut is perfect for concealing any food baby I might conceive along the way. This is my version of Joey Tribbiani’s Thanksgiving Eating Pants, and I think I nailed it.

I know this will come as a surprise to all of you but I am not, in fact, a 30-something slip of a girl anymore. Hah! I’m kidding. Nobody thinks that and I’ve never been someone who plays coy about her age. I’ll be 44 in August which feels really weird when I think about it (hardly ever) because the older I get, the more ageless I feel — emotionally and mentally, that is. Forty-four sounds like a grown-up age, and I don’t feel like a grown-up. I’m starting to think that “being a grown-up” is part of the Land of Forever Tomorrow. Which is fine. I would hate to feel like I had to know everything, or even just a lot of things, and act responsibly all the time. I guess, to me, “being a grown-up” represents a child’s perspective on adulthood — a kind of omniscient stasis at the top of a development pyramid. Who wants to be stuck there? Not me. But anyway. The hard part about turning 44 isn’t how I feel about it.

It’s how my body feels it.

I’m not talking about the diverse small aches and pains that one seems to accumulate at an increasing rate after 40. Or the ‘hangovers’ one feels the next morning after staying up a little later than usual the night before. At this stage, I’m mostly talking about perimenopause, which came as a big, unwelcome surprise. Traditionally, menopause is something that we’ve been taught to associate with turning, say, 50 or older; when I was growing up, perimenopause wasn’t even really talked about. Until recently, I had no idea that perimenopause could happen as early as late 30s. Now, I know several other women who are around my age and experiencing similar things. Realizing what is happening to us and being able to talk to each other about it has been incredibly helpful. It’s reassuring to know that you’re not imagining things, that something is different — well, lots of things, actually — and that there are reasons outside of your control why you feel so crappy at times. I am lucky to have a family doctor who is willing to have a discussion around perimenopause with me; a lot of health professionals still dismiss women’s experiences if they’re not closer to the age when menopause has been traditionally thought to start.

I mention all of this for 2 reasons. One, if you’re in your 40s and are experiencing any new symptoms that seem out of character and are non-specific in nature (fatigue, brain fog, difficulties sleeping, irritability, among others), you may want to look up information about perimenopause. Two, it provides context for the rest of this post, which is all about changes in habits I’ve been making to try to improve my sense of wellbeing.

I’m a bit of a sloth when it comes to physical activity, so I’m very proud of the biggest change I’ve made, which was to increase my daily movement amount. I work a sedentary job and have mostly sedentary hobbies, and had been doing very little physical exercise in recent years. It’s probably safe to say that I have not been especially fit for a long time, even if I didn’t look it. For many years, my philosophy was “if I can fit into my clothes, I’m good.” But getting older means that I need to start prioritizing fitness (heart health, in particular) over appearance. Prior to the start of the year, I had been doing 30 minutes of light cardio, via a stationary bike, about 3 times a week. It wasn’t much and it was becoming less ideal all the time, as sitting on the bike for prolonged periods was starting to give me lower back pain. In January, I decided to get a walking pad. It was a social media-influenced purchase, but one that proved life-changing in the best way.

I’ve always enjoyed walking, and it’s easy on my joints and back. The walking pad is small and light, and can be easily shoved under the bed when not in use. I can jump on it any time, with little fuss and muss — I don’t even need to get properly dressed, I just need to put my sneakers on. The weather here is unpredictable year round (even the summers can be challenging, due to wildfires among other reasons) so as much as walking outside would be preferable, the walking pad is a much more practical option for me. When I first got it, I made a goal of walking 3 miles a day. This equated to between 5,000 and 6,000 steps a day, or about 45 minutes. I was breaking it down into 2 sessions, and the convenience of it made it really easy to stick to a daily routine. Then, a couple of months ago, I was listening to an episode of Anne Helen Petersen’s podcast Culture Study that discussed sitting and how bad it is for us, and the guest expert mentioned how studies have shown that 5 minutes of movement once per hour (of sitting) are associated with positive health impacts. So I decided to switch up my walking routine and do 5-10 minutes of walking at least every 1.5 hours during the work day, as well as a few extra intervals throughout the rest of the day. I also upped my steps goal, to average 10,000 steps a day every week. Thanks to my walking pad, this was easily feasible. (Actually, I now average 11,000-12,000 steps a day because as soon as I put a number on a target, I become weirdly fixated with going over it.) I can be at my desk, hop on the pad in less than 20 seconds, walk for 5 minutes, and be back at my desk immediately after. I speed walk but, at that length of interval, I don’t usually break a sweat so I don’t need to change in and out of workout clothes constantly. (I do one longer interval every morning before work to get my heart rate up for an extended period.) It’s so convenient!

Now, this is all anecdotal of course, but I have found that my energy level is generally quite a bit higher and much more consistent than it was before I started walking. In particular, I don’t find myself crashing as hard, energy-wise, in the afternoons as I used to do. (Some days it still happens, and I blame my fluctuating hormone levels entirely, whether justifiably or not I don’t care) After the initial adjustment period, I’ve not experienced any aches and pains associated with walking, except occasionally sore feet — it’s very low impact in that sense. I’ve also noticed quite a bit of toning in the lower half of my body; heck, even my husband has commented on it. I don’t weigh myself as I don’t care about that kind of metric, but I do feel sort of lighter in my step … which might have more to do with my overall energy level than weight, tbh. It’s hard to say with a strong degree of certainty whether the physical activity has also had a positive impact on my mental wellbeing, as that is dependent on a lot of factors, but I do tend to think it contributes to a mood-stabilizing effect, at the least.

Another habit I’ve been working on this year is sleep. There has been a noticeable decline in the quality of my sleep in recent years, and it’s something that obviously has a huge impact on my quality of life as a whole. So I’ve been working on improving my sleep hygiene. Bedtime phone scrolling was my worst habit, so I’ve pushed myself to cut it out. It used to be that, once the kids were in bed, I would get into bed myself and do “a little bit” more reading on my phone … which would, almost inevitably, turn into an hour or more of scrolling. Now, I prep myself for bed and do my last bit of screen time before the kids go to bed, which happens between 9 and 9:30 these days. We have a bedtime ritual, left over from when they were little, where both my husband and I (separately) hang out and chat with each kid once they’re in bed. It’s a nice opportunity to do a last debrief of sorts about our days, talk about things we did and things we’re grateful for, etc. (I’m pretty sure my husband and son talk exclusively about NBA rankings during their one-on-one, but to each their own, lol!) Once that’s done, it’s time for me to go to bed as well … and I am not allowed even one, last quick look at my phone. I can usually fall asleep fairly quickly, thanks to my sleep medication, and enforcing that relatively early bedtime means that I can get at least 8 hours of sleep every night. On paper, at least.

Waking up between 2 and 3 AM (and often not being able to fall back asleep for an hour or more) has been one my least favourite things about perimenopause. Even with my anxiety under control, that period of wakefulness is never fun. The sleep medication I have been taking for a while didn’t seem able to address it, so after doing a bit of research, I decided to add an OTC magnesium supplement to my bedtime routine. (Always check with your physician before starting any supplements!) It has helped quite a bit. I would not say that I am consistently sleeping through the night every night, but I am having far fewer wake-ups and of much shorter duration. We love some progress!

It might not seem like much, but the additional physical activity and slightly better sleep have been a tremendous boon to my overall well-being. Perimenopause still sucks — and there are days when I don’t feel great for no apparent reason — but I find myself having more energy and more zest for life on a much more consistent basis. The fact that all of the changes I made to my daily routine were, individually, quite small and easy to implement played a key role in helping the habits stick. With everything else going on, I just don’t feel like I have the bandwidth to tackle the kind of ambitious goals (or things that seem ambitious to me, a sloth-like person) that we tend to think are worthwhile in terms of results. But they good news is that little things can add up! And little things I can do.