The Proust questionnaire came out of a parlor game popularized (but not created) by the famous French writer, Marcel Proust. It’s been a feature in Vanity Fair, my favourite magazine, for decades – in each issue, they have a different famous person answer the questions. The idea behind the questionnaire is that the answers given reveal the person’s true nature.

I love anything resembling a personality quiz, so of course, I enjoy the Proust questionnaire – both answering it and reading others’ answers. I’ve done it before and I think it’s a fun thing to revisit every, say, 5-10 years and see how things change. The last time I wrote down my answers was in 2015; you can read them here. I did the questionnaire again this time without looking at my previous efforts. It’s fascinating to see what has changed and what hasn’t over the last 8 years. I recognize the person who wrote the old answers, but she ain’t me — you know? I can only imagine who she’ll be in another 10 years.

If this sounds like fun, you should follow along at home and write everything down. It’s like a time capsule only much less work-intensive.

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? Sitting in my garden with a good book and a cold Diet Coke.

2. What is your greatest fear? Dying with regrets about things I wish I’d had the time or courage to do.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Selfishness

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Selfishness.

5. Which living person do you most admire? Nobody famous. I don’t believe in heroes. I admire people who are living life true to themselves and with kindness for those around them.

6. What is your greatest extravagance? Buying books.

7. What is your current state of mind? Alternating between franticness (still adjusting to a post-pandemic pace of life) and gratitude.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue? I had to Google the seven virtues for this one, hah! Chastity, probably.

9. On what occasion do you lie? When necessary to avoid hurting someone’s feelings over something trivial.

10. What do you most dislike about your appearance? I wouldn’t say I dislike them, but I am most insecure about my teeth. North Americans’ obsession with blindingly white teeth is a disease.

11. Which living person do you most despise? Anyone who uses their power or privilege to oppress others. So, like, pick a billionaire or politician.

12. What is the quality you most like in a man? Kindness and curiosity.

13. What is the quality you most like in a woman? Kindness and curiosity.

14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse? Actually, literally, like. I am a Valley Girl, apparently.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My husband and kids.

16. When and where were you happiest? At a macro level, right now. I’ve had lots of individual happy moments and memories in my life, but true contentment is a different beast.

17. Which talent would you most like to have? To be able to sing like Adele.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? To be more patient.

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement? Learning to live with a grateful and curious frame of mind. It’s the key to contentment and a step towards living meaningfully.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? I hope I don’t. But if I do, something like a redwood on the Pacific Northwest coast.

21. Where would you most like to live? In principle, in a charming Georgian detached house somewhere in the English countryside. Having said that, I am not sure if actual country living – or England – is for me. I love my house and my city.

22. What is your most treasured possession? I’m a materialist who loves beautiful things. I love all my things and am deeply attached to them! But I am not sure if any single one of them has sentimental value above all the others.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery? Being forced to live contrary to your values.

24. What is your favourite occupation? Reading.

25. What is your most marked characteristic? Over analyzing everything.

26. What do you most value in friends? Loyalty and kindness.

27. Who are your favourite writers? Jorge Luis Borges, Umberto Eco, Alain de Botton, Milan Kundera, Agatha Christie, Ngaio Marsh, Anthony Trollope.

28. Who is your hero of fiction? Honestly? Probably Jane Marple. I am nosy AF — invite me to all the mysterious goings-on and let me bring my popcorn. And an older woman running (mental) circles around EVERYbody? Yes!

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Madame de Sevigne. Inveterate and witty letter writer who loved gossip and had a front seat to her era’s greatest show (the court of Louis XIV).

30. Who are your heroes in real life? My parents.

31. What are your favourite names? Luka and Theodora, obviously – my kids’ names. I also like Nicholas, Leo, Iris, and Alice.

32. What is it that you most dislike? Late-stage capitalism.

33. What is your greatest regret? I have no real regrets, other than wishing I’d had more time with loved ones who have died. Every choice and decision I’ve made in my life has led me to where I am today and I am content to be here.

34. How would you like to die? When I feel ready, in my sleep.

35. What is your motto? Live in discovery.

Details: Primavera dress, Elizabeth & James vest, vintage bag, Fluevog shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: I know this isn’t exactly my “usual” colourful style, but it was one of my fave recent outfits. I love the simplicity of this restrained palette; there is enough detail here that makes it non-boring. Pairing this greige tweed with black looks ever so sharp, for some reason. The contrast creates a richness that belies the simplicity of the outfit.

Details: Ines de la Fressange x Uniqlo shirt, Ralph Lauren jacket, Chico’s necklace, Rebecca Minkoff belt, Issey Miyake skirt, Stuart Weitzman shoes (all thrifted)

Thoughts: Back to my comfort zone of monochromatic southwestern-inspired fits. This skirt is absolutely perfect for it. It has a romantic fullness, but also an edge with the intricate pleating detail. It creates depth where a plainer skirt might look too “heavy”, too much of a black hole, so to speak. Pairing it with a crisp white shirt is instantly classic, and such a great “canvas” for building an outfit. Just change the jacket and accessories and you’re set.

Details: no label top, vintage vest, Cotton Pickers skirt, Echo scarf (all thrifted), Steve Madden shoes (retail)

Thoughts: Remember my obsession with Jo March’s outfits in the most recent adaptation of Little Women? Turns out, I’m still obsessed. I was experimenting with this scarf and it ended up looking a bit like an ascot, which really complemented the vibe. I decided to pull back from looking too “historic” by adding some stompy, chunky, 90s platforms. Which, in a strange way, seems fitting; weren’t we all a little bit in love with Christian Bale’s Laurie in the 90s? Full circle.

Details: Pilcro tank, Gomaye duster, Urban Outfitters pants (all thrifted), Rafael Alfandary necklace (eBay)

Thoughts: I can’t say enough good things about dusters; they’re such an easy way to elevate a simple outfit — and it doesn’t get more simple than black pants and a cream tank top — and as a bonus, you’ll feel like a superhero when you’re going down stairs and the air lifts your duster like a cape. I also can’t say enough good things about these pants. They have a regular waistband in the front, so they look dressy enough, but the back is elasticated which ensures a nice (and comfortable) fit. The material drapes nicely too. They look much fancier than they are, too. It’s always good to have a few, staple pieces like that in your arsenal.

Details: Uniqlo sweatshirt, CoH jeans, Stuart Weitzman shoes (all thrifted), Dooney & Bourke bag (Poshmark)

Thoughts: Ok, if the last outfit was pretty basic — minus the duster — this one scrapes the bottom of the basic barrel. This is one step away from sweatpants … almost literally, since I’m wearing a sweatshirt. But I zhuzhed it up a bit, because I always need to zhuzh things up. I played up the colourfulness of the top with my accessories to create a little extra contrast and visual interest. These red slip-on sneakers are always a good bet for that sort of thing; one of my most versatile pairs of shoes, for sure.

It’s been 4 years since our last family trip to Calgary, and what a difference 4 years can make. This visit turned out to be as “on brand” as I had hoped, but it also highlighted our changing family dynamics. The kids are growing up, which means the way in which we all relate and interact with one another is evolving too. The thing that makes me incredibly happy is that we all still love spending time together; I hope that never changes. I say that because it hit me recently that, as the kids get older and become adults, they won’t be legally required to hang out with us. It will be entirely their choice. It’s a surprisingly hard mindset to adjust to after years of feeling like the kids were, in many ways, just an extension of myself (everywhere I was, so were they).

We approached this trip very much as a team and with a “say yes to everything” motto. That means that anything we saw and wanted to do/try/eat/buy, we did. I wouldn’t say that we are super strict parents at home, but this was definitely a change for our kids, and they enjoyed it to the max. And it was precisely this attitude that shaped our trip from beginning to end … including the (unanimous) decision to come home a day early. It wasn’t because we didn’t have fun; in fact, the opposite. We had a jam-packed 2 days of Doing All the Fun Things and had checked off most of the items on our must-do lists. Our remaining plans were up in the air thanks to the heat warning in effect for the rest of the weekend (which meant that our outdoor time would be limited). Everyone agreed that being home a day early was preferable to being cooped up in the hotel, so rather than force ourselves to stick to the original itinerary, we said “yes” to what we really wanted to do — go back home.

Luckily, we were able to visit the Zoo before temperatures became intolerable and a good thing too, because both the kids swore up and down that they didn’t remember their last visit at all.

We also celebrated my son’s birthday by taking him to eat at all his favourite places. If my son has a love language, it’s definitely food. Although, to be fair, we are a family that enjoys eating, haha! The “yes to everything” motto meant extra stops for desserts and trying new things like bubble tea. They were able to burn off some of the sugar high at the hotel pool, one of the most popular “destinations” on our trip.

We also had a lovely time in Inglewood. As planned, we stopped in at Fair’s Fair Books and went on a little book shopping spree. And by “little”, I mean that everyone shopped to their heart’s content.

My other must-see store, Cody & Sioux, was more of a disappointment; I didn’t find any of the pieces on my shopping list so, alas, it’s back to thrifting and Poshmark as far as that goes. Can you believe that none of these cowboy boots spoke to me?

After that, we stumbled on a few more fun places, including an arcade bar open to kids (much to my kids’ delight), a mid-century modern furniture store (much to my husband’s delight), and another bookstore (much to my delight).

Yeah, I bought more books. In fact, I bought nothing but books on this trip (and one random pair of jeans). I even persuaded the whole family to join me for quick stops at a couple of Value Villages, and all we came out with was … more books. I’m not mad about it. My To Be Read pile is about to get LIT!

We did go to the CrossIron Mills premium outlet mall outside Calgary as well, which was a big hit with the kids — we almost never go to malls at home, so there is a novelty factor. I think the prices were a bit of a shock to them, used as they are to mom’s thrift shopping, but they did enjoy a taste of shopping autonomy, not to mention the food court. For me, the mall was a bit of a disappointment, which is not unusual. I’m so used to thrifting that I find myself bored by the limited selection in regular stores; the only one I tend to enjoy is Winners/HomeSense because it has that same chaotic energy as thrift stores. The Polo outlet store was the biggest disappointment of all. There were only a few pieces that looked interesting and really had that Papa Ralph energy for me, and even those weren’t sufficiently “wow” to justify the retail price. The rest of the store looked very generic; I blame it on the fact that this was a “factory” store not a regular retail establishment. What I did find interesting is that they were selling both the Polo AND the Lauren Ralph Lauren brands; I thought that the latter was owned by a different company these days, and not under the same umbrella as Polo. I guess I was wrong.

All in all, it was a nice mini getaway, and it has us all hyped for our next summer adventure.