The end of 2025 is in sight (hallelujah!) so it’s time to roll out the retrospectives. I’ve decided to approach this year’s favourite purchases list in a slightly different way because, as I was going through my spreadsheet and jotting down items, I started to notice some patterns. You will see what I mean in a moment.

The other thing I noticed is that I bought about 30% fewer items this year compared to 2024, though my overall costs only went down by about 20%. I think that’s a function of a couple of factors, including the rising price at thrift stores and several ‘bigger ticket’ items I purchased this year (mostly on Poshmark). Initially, I also thought it had to do with having more retail purchases, but when I went back to check, it looks like there were only 2 additional ones compared to last year (and one of those was for underwear, which I buy once every 4 or 5 years, don’t judge me). I made 5 retail purchases this year, in case you’re curious.

OK, OK, but what were my fave purchases of the year? Read on.

Shoes

I bought quite a few pairs of shoes, but three in particular stand out. I adore my mary-jane Docs ($112) and my knee-high Docs ($144) and I expect I’ll be wearing them for years to come – hopefully, unless they fall apart sooner which would be a real shame. I’ve been hearing mixed reviews of Dr. Martens quality in recent years. So far, so good with my pairs. I also got a mid-calf pair of Docs boots, which is great, but I thought including a 3^rd pair in this round-up would be overkill.

If you’ve been seeing my weekly outfit posts, the Le Chateau black slide sandals ($6) will have become obnoxiously familiar to you. I wore them almost every day this summer, literally. Not necessarily the most exciting shoe option, but so comfortable and easy to wear, and beyond versatile. I got a similar pair in gold as well, and it’s proven a good addition to my closet, but the black is far and above my most-worn shoe of the year.

Bags

I love vintage Coach bags and this is a category on which I’m willing to splurge a bit. I fell in love with the shape of the XL duffle bag ($275) and hunted one down in a colour (British tan) that I knew would be versatile in my closet. I also looked for a navy bag, which I didn’t have already, and eventually settled on this vintage style ($185) whose name I have regrettably forgotten now. Both of these were Poshmark purchases, which took me many months to find. Resale prices for 90s Coach bags has gone through the roof, so finding sub-$200 bags is becoming increasingly rare. I was willing to pay up a bit for the duffle bag because of its size and condition. I would love to add a couple of rarer colours to my collection, but those come up for resale infrequently and the price always reflects it.

This year I also celebrated the achievement of a thrifting holy grail: finding my first vintage Coach bag. Amazingly, I had been looking for a cream/beige Coach bag for a while, so finding one at the thrifts was doubly exciting. More amazingly, and triply exciting: I only paid $8 for it.

Ralph Lauren

Even when I don’t need new clothes, I always make an exception for certain vintage Ralph Lauren pieces. At this point, I consider myself a collector, lol! But I am picky with what I buy even when it comes to RL. I want pieces that embody the RL style ethos, rather than stuff that’s more or less “anonymous” (i.e. it looks like it could come from any brand). Because resale prices for vintage RL have also skyrocketed, I have not been able to add to my curated collection in a meaningful way this year. Which is OK! Patience is the keyword here.

I was lucky enough to find the dog sweater ($8) at the thrifts, along with the brown silk dress ($25). The latter is not necessarily a “Ralph collection” piece for me, but it’s still a fave purchase because of the quality and because the style really suits my aesthetic. My only other intentional purchase was the tapestry blazer ($94), which was a Poshmark find. It was love at first sight, so I was willing to pay up for it … after doing a bit of research and seeing that similar ones were listed on eBay for several hundreds of dollars.

The H&M Cardigans

Do I need to talk about these again? I think not. I paid $7 and $30, respectively, for the black and the cream.

The Retail Dresses

These two dresses are both faves from an aesthetic perspective, and coincidentally represent the two ends of the retail purchase spectrum. The Anthropologie dress was $240, while the Sim & Sam dress (from Winners) was $25 – both at regular full price, I should add. I am not going to say that the quality is identical because it’s not; the construction of the Anthro dress is definitely better. But I think there is less difference than that price differential might suggest. It will be interested to see how they hold up over the years.

The Pants

One area of my closet that has been evolving this year is pants – specifically pants silhouettes. I struggled to find new styles that felt more “me of now”, both in jeans and regular pants. This vintage Wrangler pair ($11) has been the clear winner so far. I love the fit. Almost every time I reach for a pair of jeans, it’s this one. The Uniqlo barrel pants ($60) were another retail purchase, and I’m glad I made it. The silhouette feels like an interesting update to the wide leg style that I had been favouring in recent years. I’ve been getting lots of wear out of this pair, and it’s very comfortable too.

One last fave: I got this vintage, reversible Orvis skirt at my clothing swap, and was immediately obsessed. I love everything about it, from the silhouette to the pattern to the colours to the length. And I love that it embodies my commitment to a circular economy and the connections I have made with others who share my values.

Where did this week go? No, seriously. I feel like I blinked and it was Friday again. I’m not complaining, by any means, because it was a productive week, but I’m a little stunned by how quickly these last few weeks of the year are going by. Maybe this is what it feels like to have “flow state” on a wholistic level (i.e. life as a whole is in a flow state). Time flies when you’re having fun, they say.

And, guys, I’m having fun. Not, like, every minute of every day but, again, wholistically. I’ve been focusing a lot lately on finding the right balance for my energy and time (between work, family, life, and creativity) and I think I’ve found a good groove. Finally! It’s so nice! These things are so fluid, and require constant adjustment, so I don’t expect this current groove remain groovy forever, but I’m enjoying it while I can.

I had another amazing therapy session last Friday and that really energized me. I feel like I’ve done some very solid and important self-work in the past 6 months or so, and I’m ending the year in a much more grounded and peaceful state than I started it. I might write a little more about this particular breakthrough/insight because I think it has the potential to resonate with other people. [Sidebar: when my therapist asked me if she could share the analogy/framing I developed through our conversation with some of her other clients, I felt like I was getting a gold star at therapy-ing. So I guess I’m not yet fully evolved past the gold star-hoarding stage, lol!]

I’m sure you’ve noticed that my writing here has been pivoting lately. It’s not intentional in the sense that I don’t have a specific plan or direction for overhauling the blog, but it is intentional in the sense that I am writing about what interests me. I have always done so, but my interests have been shifting – and dragging the blog along with them. From time to time, I worry about losing my ‘audience’ in the process; people that started following me to read about fashion and personal style might not be interested in what I have to say about other topics. Then I remember two things: (i) my blog owes nobody anything (that’s the beauty of not being monetized), and (ii) many of my OG followers stopped following me for fashion stuff a long time ago.

That being said, I also see this as a community space, so I invite you to share your thoughts about what you enjoy reading and/or hope to read here.

I’m slowly wrapping up my Christmas shopping – that is to say, the buying not the actual wrapping – but I’m feeling stuck on my own presents. Yes, I pick my own presents. It just makes everyone else’s life easier and makes me happier too. Because I’m picky, duh. And I hate the idea of (anyone) wasting money on things that aren’t useful/meaningful. I’ve found a few smaller items that I want/need, and that my kids can buy for me, but nothing for the ‘main’ gift (aka the one my husband would get for me). I’d had my eye on a vintage Coach bag on Poshmark for a while, but I dithered too long and it sold – and for a great price too, which made me regret it extra hard, lol! So now I’m back to square one. I don’t like buying something that isn’t a “LOVE” for me just because an occasion calls for a present, so this may be one of those situations where I’ll get my Christmas present in, like, January or February or something.

Anyway, just for fun, I’d love to hear what’s on your Xmas wishlist.

Have a great weekend!

Louis XIV was obsessed with his gloire. The pursuit of gloire was basically his raison d’être, and certainly the primary motivation behind many if not most of his political acts as an absolute monarch. The French word “gloire” is more nuanced that its English counterpart, glory; it encompasses “reputation”* as well as “prestige”. Louis XIV wanted to be admired. That word, too, carries a variety of connotations: approval, respect, reverence, adulation, envy, even intimidation. It’s only perhaps a small exaggeration to say that Louis XIV built Versailles as a pedestal upon which he could stand and be admired.

Why am I talking about a French king who lived more than 300 hundred years ago? Because, friends, la gloire is a very modern preoccupation too. I might go so far as to argue that it is the defining obsession of our social media-dominated age. Louis XIV would have looooved Instagram and TikTok, I’m telling you. Wait, did I just say that? Sacré bleu!

Speaking of Instagram, I came across this idea there recently that I haven’t been able to get out of my head. To paraphrase:

To crave the result but not the process is to guarantee failure.

This came up in the context of writing, specifically, but I think it applies broadly to pretty much any endeavour, creative or otherwise. What it’s getting at is this: unless one values and invests in the process required to get the desired result as much as one values and invests in the result itself, one is setting oneself up for failure. Result follows process; you get what you put in.

In fact, and not to be a downer here, when it comes to creative pursuits, sometimes you get less than what you put in, because capitalism is not actually set up to reward creativity. The notion that you can get more than you put in — aka phenomenal result with minimal effort — is a thing people tell you when they’re trying to sell you some get-rich-quick scheme.

Since I’ve started hanging out in writerly spaces (mostly on Reddit), I’ve seen countless posts from people who crave being successful writers. Who dream of la gloire of being a writer that others admire. And, listen, I’d be lying to you if I said that I don’t indulge in that dream myself, from time to time. But what stands out to me in a lot of these posts — more of them than you might think — is the notable lack of interest in the process of being a writer, period. It’s less about “how do I become a writer” and more about “how do I write a successful novel”. I always want to respond to these posts by pointing out that they’re focusing on the wrong thing, but I don’t because I know there’s very little chance the OPs will listen … and, also, who needs strangers on the internet getting mad at them for being quote-unquote negative? Not me.

Here’s what I learned about being a writer so far: the only thing you can control is your practice and your process. And, by extension, the work that comes out of that process. But as for what happens to that work — the result of the process, as it were? You don’t control sh*t.

Ok, fine. Maybe you have a non-zero amount of control over the result.

But the amount of control you have is so infinitesimal that we might as well zero it out altogether. A well-written book (i.e. the outcome of your process) does not equate to a “successful” book, by any external metric you want to measure success. Externally-validated success is largely determined by external factors — aka other people. And we can’t control what other people do, or think, or like. Sadly, we are not absolute monarchs like old Louis was.

I think this is true of most human endeavours and certainly of creative ones of any kind. Getting deeply attached to a result (particularly one predicated on external validation) is a pretty surefire way to court disappointment. But if the result is the thing that puts fire in one’s belly, then I think the best way to improve the chance of avoiding disappointment is to take that fire and channel it into the process. Learn to crave the process; it might end up getting you the result you want, but even if not, you’ll have had a bunch of fun along the way.

Here’s another thing I recently heard and can’t get out of my head: we don’t get what we want, we get what we are. Isn’t that quite a devastating statement? Simple, to the point, and true.

This is how I’ve come to understand it: what we achieve reflects what we practice. One cannot think oneself a writer (much less a successful writer). One must act to be a writer, which is to say, one must have a practice of writing. Again, the same goes for everything. We cannot want and wish and think ourselves confident. We act and practice confidence, and in time we become confident. Practice dictates outcome, shapes reality.

So, yes, be wary of la gloire. It is shiny and tempting, but it can lead one astray. Just ask historians: Louix XIV did a bunch of (objectively) dumb things chasing la gloire … and he came as close to being an omnipotent human as ever walked upon this green earth. Whether or not he was even satisfied, on balance, with his achievements is a WHOLE other story. [Some, indeed, have speculated that he ended up feeling trapped by the lifestyle he created for himself in pursuit of la gloire. Which begs the question: if a mega-rich autocrat doesn’t enjoy his life, what is even the point of being a mega-rich autocrat? But I digress.]

Anyway … here’s to chasing the high (and lows) of the process — glory be damned!

^{*See, e.g., Anne Somerset’s book The Affair of the Poisons: Murder, Infanticide and Satanism at the Court of Louix XIV for discussion. Many other writers and historians have examined this facet of Louis XIV’s personality and its impact on his reign.}