Not So Impossible Conversations

I haven’t been reading much lately, which is a crying shame, but one of the things I did read last month was Schiaparelli and Prada: Impossible Conversations. Essentially, it’s a glorified coffee book that was released in conjunction with the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s exhibition of the same name, which “explore[d] how Elsa Schiaparelli and Miuccia Prada changed fashion over the last ninety years by challenging accepted norms.”

The format of the book (and exhibition) was inspired by the Vanity Fair feature called “Impossible Conversations”, which has featured such odd celebrity pairs as Sigmund Freud and Jean Harlow engaged in, well, imaginary conversations. The book features photographs of both designers’ pieces – contrasted to show striking similarities, and divergences – and their thoughts on their aesthetic, approach to design, and various style-related topics. Schiaparelli’s portion of the “conversation” comprises excerpts from her autobiography, Shocking Life; Prada’s presumably comprises interview quotes (it’s not clear if she was interviewed specifically for the book, and asked to respond to the Schiaparelli quotations, or whether this is material gathered from a number of sources). There isn’t a ton of substance to the book, to be honest, which is a shame, because both women seem to have had very interesting lives. The Preface gives you a taste of it, but it’s altogether too short. I’m not necessarily a huge fan of Prada’s design aesthetic, although I am drawn to/intrigued by the way the book defines her design sensibilities and inspiration:

“Saint Laurent’s costumes for Deneuve’s character [in Belle du Jour], Severine, a society woman slumming in a brothel, are the beginning of “Prada”. Her collections, like Bunuel’s films, are the chapters of a sly parable about the discreet charms and secret perversities of bourgeois society. But here, too, Prada rejects an archaic paradigm. Bunuel’s Severine is a frigid housewife seeking transcendence via sadomasochism in the arms of repulsive strangers. Prada’s Severine (who might be a gallerist or a surgeon) dons a mask of impeccability to recruit a lover or a playmate who can see through it. There is always a subtle clue – something odd or off-kilter – about her neat little skirt and her tailored shirt buttoned at the collar; but it isn’t her virtue that’s a lie, it’s her passivity.”

Anyway, it’s not the photos that are the highlight of the book, in my opinion, but the interesting morsels hidden in the “conversations” themselves. These ones, under the heading “Naif Chic” caught my attention in particular:

MP: Women always try to tame themselves as they get older, but the ones who look best are often a bit wilder. Thinking about age all the time is the biggest prison women can make for themselves.

ES: Ninety per cent [of women] are afraid of being conspicuous and of what people will say. So they buy a grey suit. They should dare to be different. Although I am very shy (and nobody will believe it), so shy that the simple necessity of saying “Hello” sometimes makes me turn icy cold, I have never been shy of appearing in public in the most fantastic and personal get up.

As you know, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the interplay between my age, my career, and my personal style – how the latter can or should or must change to reflect the demands of the others – so these quotes struck a nerve. My first reaction was “Yes! Absolutely!”, but my enthusiasm was quickly tempered. In the abstract, I agree absolutely that women should not allow themselves to be defined by others according to their age, especially if that means being minimized, or made invisible. I also agree that women should not be afraid of standing out – drawing attention to themselves, having a voice and demanding to be heard – any more than men would think of doing. But in business, and especially in the upper eschelons of conservative business, all of that becomes more complicated.

In most conservative professions, age denotes seniority, demands respect. I have male colleagues who looked upon the early onset of gray hair as a bit of a boon; it conferred a certain measure of gravitas that, in a competitive environment, gave them a little added edge. I don’t know if gray hair on a woman has the same effect; looking too young is definitely a hindrance, but looking just plain old is not much help either. I think women are best served by achieving what is a difficult balance: looking mature (and, therefore, competent and experienced) but ageless, in a sort of effortless way.

At the same time, style is seen as a sort of frivolous thing. I think that attitude is slowly changing, but it isn’t going anywhere just yet. (I hasten to add that, in this regard at least, I don’t think that women get a worse or different rap than men. If anything, men usually get the short end of the stick when it comes to dress codes.) A perceived preoccupation with clothes often connotes a lack of seriousness; this might seem silly or unfair, but it cannot be simply disregarded – not without running the risk that your professional standing, especially in the eyes of your superiors or clients, will suffer for it. Where age and style intersect is especially tricky territory, because there is so much subtext to keep straight. Moreover, clothes are a perfect medium through which to convey messages about yourself, but above all, you can’t be seen to be trying too hard; the medium can never be more important than the message, and it certainly cannot be the message (sorry, Marshall McLuhan).

I think that one way in which women (and men) can overcome the traditional strictures on sartorial self-expression in the business world is by being really, really, really good at something not many others can do. Success has its privileges, you know? And success often comes with experience, and therefore age. Which brings us back, full-circle, to where we started. Some day, it might be fun to be an eccentric old lady; for now, I’m still struggling to figure out how much self-expression I want to put into my sartorial choices at work … and how much I should.

Obviously, I am writing this from a very specific perspective, based on my own experiences; I would love to hear your thoughts on the intersection of age, style, and career.

What I Wore: March Work Capsule

Happy (Orthodox) Easter, you guys! I cannot believe it’s April already – this year is flying by. March was a weird month. It went by fast and slow at the same time. A huge project, which had consumed the majority of my work life for the previous 2 months, was wrapped up at the beginning of March, and the rest of the month left like one long stress hangover. Thankfully, everyone at home was healthier, which left me more time … to obsess about first world problems, like whether anyone reads this blog. It also left me more time to shop, as my monthly recap amply demonstrated. At the same time, I can tell you that my closet is the leanest it’s been in years; I have been pushing myself to let go of everything in my closet that doesn’t spark joy, and while I’m not quite there yet, I’m slowly getting close.

On this month’s details: 24+ items for 23 outfits. And here they are:

word wardrobe capsule; work capsule; capsule dressing
one, two, three
word wardrobe capsule; work capsule; office capsule
four, five, six
work wardrobe capsule; office capsule
seven, eight, nine
work wardrobe capsule; office capsule
ten, eleven, twelve (1)
work wardrobe capsule; office capsule
twelve (2), thirteen, fourteen
work wardrobe capsule; work capsule
fifteen, sixteen, seventeen
work wardrobe capsule; office style capsule
eighteen, nineteen, twenty
work wardrobe capsule; office capsule
twenty one, twenty two

A few explanatory notes are in order. I wore 2 separate outfits on St. Patrick’s day: one to the office, and one to a client event in the evening. The green H&M dress I got at the swap was perfect for the latter, but a little too much for the office, so I paired my favourite new skirt with the only other green piece in my wardrobe. I should also mention that #3 and #10 are not the same outfit – I am actually wearing different pants, although it doesn’t really look like it.

On to my favourites. I loved too many individual pieces to be able to pick just one, so I will cheat a little and go with an accessory instead: my new (to me) YSL Muse Two bag. As for selecting favourite outfits, that was no less difficult; in the end, I think I have to go with #2, #6, and #14. My least favorite were #15 and #22, which felt a little bit “blah”.

Tell me what you think in the comments, and don’t forget to check out the “Capsules” tab when you get a chance.

Buying on eBay, Part I

Some of you guys have been wanting to know if I have any tips for buying on eBay and, while the answer is “not any ground-breaking ones”, I am happy to share my non-secrets with you. Since it turns out that I have a lot to say on the topic (Long-winded? Me? Never!), I’ve split this topic into 3 posts. First up:

Why eBay?

I usually turn to eBay in one of 2 situations: when I’m looking for a specific item, and when I’m looking for a non-specific item in a particular category. OK, that sounds completely unenlightening, so let’s break it down:

1. Looking for the Specific

Let’s say you see a cute dress on a blog. And let’s say the blogger doesn’t link to the dress on a retailer’s site (ahem, that doesn’t sound familiar at all) or, worse yet, straight up tells you that it’s no longer available. Except that you want, nay, need that dress. Now. What do you do? Well, if you’re me, the first thing you do is search for the dress on Google Images to find the original retailer’s listing for the item. This might seem like a waste of time, but it can actually provide a lot of useful information for your next step, which is (duh!) an eBay search. More on that in a moment. How do you find what you’re looking for on Google? If the blogger did not list the original product name, then you have no choice but to run a bunch of descriptive search terms, and cross your fingers. Some retailers give their items really unhelpful names/descriptions, but the more literal you are, the better your chances of getting a hit. If the item is really old (5 + years), you will likely have more trouble finding its original product page, but some brands (J. Crew, Anthropologie) are better than others (ohemgee, BCBG!).

Found by searching "Ivanka Trump floral sheath dress"
Found by searching “Ivanka Trump floral sheath dress”

Now, think of eBay as the place where nothing is ever permanently out of stock. It might be temporarily unavailable, but if you wait long enough, pretty much everything eventually turns up on eBay. If you’re looking for a specific item, there are 2 ways to find it on eBay: (1) use the specific item name/description listed by the retailer (see above); or (2) run a descriptive term search (see above). I find that the first method (if you are able to get the information from Google) works best for recent items, or for items being sold by professional eBay sellers. Think of it this way: you probably don’t remember the original product name of a dress you bought 2 years ago, so if you’re selling it on eBay, you’re just going to call it “floral Zara dress”. The exception is Anthropologie, which (a) always gives their stuff weird, memorable names, and (b) inspires fanaticism in its devotees. At least 75% of Anthropologie listings include the original product name, I kid you not.

Found by searching for "Anthropologie Hamatreya skirt"
Found by searching for “Anthropologie Hamatreya skirt”

When all else fails, throw a bunch of descriptive terms together. I wouldn’t try more than 2 or 3 at a time, though, because most listing titles aren’t super long, and you don’t want to have a search so specific that it filters out potential hits. I rarely bother to check the “Include description” box, because I tend to find that returns too many results.

Found by searching everything under the sun
Found by searching everything under the sun

Let me give you one example. One of the most difficult to track down dresses I’ve ever successfully hunted on eBay was this BCBG number. I ran broad and narrow searches for months, before I finally come up lucky. It didn’t help that it’s an older dress, and one that rarely shows up on eBay. I think my (ultimately successful) search terms included “geo”, “multi” and “faux wrap”. Geo stands for “geometrical”, and multi stands for “multi-color”, and both are descriptors relating to print/pattern that professional sellers like to use. I got lucky, since my dress ended up being listed by one; I’m not sure if a casual seller would have used the same terms in their listing. Other search terms I had tried included “BCBG pebble print dress”, “BCBG purple abstract print”, “BCBG purple faux wrap dress” … well, you get the idea. As tedious as it can be, the key is to try, try, and try again.

This brings up an obvious observation: eBay is not for everyone. If you want to find something quickly and easily, and don’t consider online browsing a fun hobby (ahem), you may get frustrated – especially when looking for an older item. I … can’t really give you any helpful tips in that regard.

2. Looking for the Specific General

This may sound exactly like what we’ve just talked about, but it’s not. Rather than looking for a specific item, you might end up looking for a specific category of items. Personally, I do this in one of 3 ways: by brand, by description, or by seller. What’s the difference? Read on.

 (a) Searching by Brand

Say that I am looking for a bag. Most often, I will be interested in looking for a bag from a particular brand; most often (but not always!), that brand will be Marc Jacobs. This type of search is the easiest to do. Type in “Marc Jacobs”, hit “enter”, then select the “Handbags” category in the top left hand menu. [Side note: I don’t bother entering “Marc by Marc Jacobs” because the first two words are redundant, plus I want a search that includes both MbMJ and MJ lines. Also, I don’t bother adding “bag” or “purse” because some sellers only use one term, and not the other, and this way I have the broadest search possible.]

Found this mint condition Marc Jacobs Blake bag for a steal - CDN$113 including shipping
Found mint condition Marc Jacobs Blake bag for a steal – CDN$113 including shipping

I re-order the results so that the lowest priced are at the top, and work my way down the list – generally, until I hit my price ceiling. If I’m feeling curious (always a bad idea, on eBay), I might keep scrolling just to see what is out there, just out of price range. This can work, in one of 2 situations. One, sellers will occasionally offer sales or discounts on their listings, which can bring down a price within budget. Two, if the item doesn’t sell, the seller will sometimes re-list it for a slightly lower price. Obviously, if the item is hundreds of dollars outside of your price range, I wouldn’t bother adding it to your watch list – you’ll just be torturing yourself for nothing.

If I don’t have a lot of time to browse, I will sometimes narrow down my brand search by adding a simple descriptive term – in our example, “green”, if I want to only want to see green Marc Jacobs bags. This approach has its pitfall. Some sellers will get all fancy, and call something “emerald” or “hunter” or God knows what else, instead of plain, old “green”. So your search results may not be exhaustive – but hey, we’re just browsing here, right?

[Side note, again: while the eBay search function can, apparently, handle Boolean logic, it looks like it does so on a very limited basis. I’ve never bothered to try, but if you’re in the mood to experiment, let me know how it goes.]

I usually search by brand when I’m “just looking to see what’s out there (and cheap)” in a particular category (in my example, bags), from a particular favourite. I’ll touch on this more in my next post, but the things I usually browse (as opposed to specifically search) for are dresses, tops, and bags. By way of contrast, I almost never browse for pants – scrolling through pages of pant pictures is boring, and it’s impossible to get an idea of fit unless you know exactly what you’re looking at.

(b) Searching by Description

Sometimes, it’s not the brand that matters, as much as the look of something. Say that I’m looking for a floral dress. [Never happens.] But not just any floral dress, I want a fit ‘n flare dress, preferably with 3/4 sleeves. And I want something of reliable quality. First, I start with the broadest search term possible, “floral dress” – and get a bazillion hits. Rather than add more descriptors to the search box, I use the left hand menu options to narrow down the search according to my criteria. If you click on “Style”, you will get an additional pop-up menu that allows you to specify a bunch of details, like the style of dress, sleeve length, material, print, condition, and brand. The latter, in particular, is helpful in narrowing down the search to exclude “direct from China” items. [Unless that’s what you’re looking for, in which case, you will find those at the top of your search results, for ridiculously low prices.]

Found these almost-new Jimmy Choo shoes for CDN$132 (including shipping)
Found almost-new Jimmy Choo shoes for CDN$132 (including shipping) by searching for “leopard shoes” and narrowing down by brands

I will admit that I rarely use this approach, because I tend to stick to the same tried-and-true brands for the most part, and prefer to search that way (see above). I would call this more of a “wildcard” approach to eBaying – not my thing, but maybe it can work for you.

 (c) Searching by Seller

I use this approach the least, but it has its advantages. I currently follow 4 sellers on eBay, and like to check in with each one of them from time to time. They are all sellers from whom I have bought before (or, in one case, was recommended to me by someone I consider an eBay ninja) and have one thing in common: a track record of good deals. And what I mean by a “good deal” is good quality for a lower-than-average price.

Found this mint condition Mulberry bag for about CDN$300 (including shipping) by searching through the listings of one of my "Saved Sellers"
Found this mint condition Mulberry bag for about CDN$300 (including shipping) by searching through the listings of one of my “Saved Sellers”

Most of the time, you will find multiple listings for the same item on eBay; some will be over-priced, but most will tend to cluster around a particular price point. Occasionally, there will be a low price outlier, in which case always consider why. Sometimes, it’s because the item is in comparatively poor condition; sometimes, it’s because it’s an uncommon size (e.g. size 5 shoes). Less frequently, it’s because the seller simply hasn’t done his or her homework on what the item is worth. But every now and then, it’s simply the case of a seller being motivated, for whatever reason, to undercut his or her competition. Or just, I don’t know, being exceptionally generous. Either way, these are sellers I recommend following because you never know when you may run across another bargain.

Whoa, that turned into quite the novel, didn’t it? And it’s only Part 1! I hope this gives you a (exhaustively detailed) idea of how I approach my eBay shopping. In Part 2, I’m going to tackle some specific tips for eBay shopping success. Stay tuned!