White jeans. Yes or no?
I’m so torn about white jeans. On one hand:
On the other hand, I don’t like high maintenance clothes, and I have a suspicion that white jeans are inclined to be prima donna-ish. I also suspect that they’re not a match made in heaven for someone as klutzy as me; they’re practically begging for pen marks or ketchup stains (and I don’t even like ketchup). And that’s not the end of the trouble with white jeans. One also has to take into account the fact that white is not a particularly forgiving colour nor, in most cases, sufficiently opaque.
On the other (other) hand … how hot does Kate Bosworth look?
So my next question is: where can one find really great white jeans?
Summer TV is a something of a wasteland, particularly for those of us who don’t subscribe to HBO. Sure, Mad Men will eventually kick off its new season, and I can catch up on shows I meant to watch during the regular season but forgot (hello, Castle) but more often than not I find myself merely flipping channels, bored out of my gourd. This is a dicey proposition because it can lead to unsavoury results – like getting sucked into a marathon of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Or, even more horrifyingly, watching any given minute of The Jersey Shore.
The Jersey Shore, I am convinced, is a complex piece of performance art. It has to be. I refuse to believe that it’s real, or that it features actual human beings going about their lives. For one thing, I’m pretty sure that real human skin does not come in shades of fluorescent orange. I’m also pretty sure that if someone truly led a life of such utter meaninglessness, they would be immediately sucked into a black hole – I’m sure that Stephen Hawking will back me up on this. Nevertheless, I must confess that, for all my outrage, I find myself entertained in equal measures. The Situation will never not be funny to me, for no reason other that he calls himself The Situation with such unshakeable conviction. [If you’re in a fist-pumping mood and looking for a way to let loose, go find and listen to The Situation’s about-to-be-released rap single. Go on, I dare you.]
Still, for me, the most appalling thing about the The Jersey Shore is its protagonists’ attire. Without exception, their clothes look like something that even Ed Hardy would reject on the grounds of poor taste. Where do these people shop? I can’t think of a single store that has perfected such a mix of the unrelentingly ugly, the terribly tacky and the unapologetically cheap, so it must mean that they shop at more than one place, carefully avoiding any potentially redeeming items along the way. This reminds me of another question I often have after watching reality TV shows (particularly on TLC) – where do women in the 21st century get bleached and/or permed she-mullets? Some mysteries are too deep to penetrate perhaps …
To get back to the Shore, I will say this for the gals on the show: they’re doing everyone a service by being a walking PSA on the perils of short-shorts. And, you know, the perils of drunken make-out sessions with troll-haired dolts. But, you know, the short-shorts are infinitely worse.
Alice, meet your perfect chair. Chair, meet your new number one fan.
The Bibliochaise and Bibliopouf by nobody & co.
I would now like all my furniture to be made of books. Books, and perhaps marzipan. No, wait. Books and cupcake frosting. Oh yeah.